Good advice, Willy....actually having a strategy for my exit.....as I've said, I am mostly winging it! If I were doing this on my own I wouldn't be having the difficulty that I am, but my husband is a believer so I am up against him as well as the brothers. We have recently had a talk between us and I've come clean with my disillusionment about JW having "the truth" and he knows my true feelings enough that if he were to go to the elders with it then I'm toast!! He has told me he won't do that, but I don't know if I can trust him to not answer them honestly if they were to ask him direct questions about me. As unhappy as he is with me I know he doesn't want me to be put in a position to not have family association and all that, but he doesn't believe they would do the things that they DO. After last weeks WT study about apostates I'm sure he sees that that is what I've become!!
I do read regularly on this board, and am making my way through "The best of..." I've printed out tons of stuff from other sites and have my hidden cache of books that are both educating me and hopefully giving me some recovery information as well. The best therapy at this point is another poster here in much the same situation who has become a wonderful friend(too bad we're on opposite coasts, tho!) and just the feeling of knowing I'm not the only one who is going through this, and seeing that it may be possible to have a normal life in the end! Not being raised a JW I know what a "normal" life feels like....as does my husband....so I'm hoping to get us both back to that! He is very happy as a JW and doesn't recognize or want to know the truth about "the Truth". I need a strategy for dealing with him as well!
I will give the mental health angle some thought....I am not clinically depressed, but do get overwhelmed at times about the whole thing(a normal response, I'm sure)! Its all such a roller coaster ride emotionally.... thank God for the beach and my dogs, they help keep me sane!! Thanks again for your input, Willy...I'm always open for suggestions!! PM me anytime!!Take care...
Bythesea