((((((((((((tijkmo)))))))))))))))
i hope it gets better for you. you seem like a nice caring person and you deserve to be happy and at peace with yourself.
luv, jojo
Have you ever done anything.....
by misanthropic 42 Replies latest members private
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dorayakii
Like many, I don't really have any huge regrets. When I've realised I've made a mistake, I always try as best as possible to settle the issue with the other person. There's not much really in my life that still affects me in a debilitatingly negative way, apart from not yet having the courage to pick up and leave behind this blasted hell-hole of a strong-in-the-truth family. However, even that doesnt occupy my every waking moment.
One particular thing though which I have regrets about, (or should i say two), is not really keeping in touch with two good friends of mine, one whose parents were both DF'd and the other who himself was marked in the congregation. I never shunned either of them, but it was as good as shunning, because I could have gone out of my way to still go and play footie with them, or to go bowling or cinema from time to time, but i didn't. I never practiced shunning as a rule, but i was afraid of what others in the congregation would say about me.
I always was extremely sensitive to what others thought of me, and even little things I was an expert at hiding. I've always hated being the centre of negative attention, and I was morbidly petrified of being talked about and having watching eyes on me in the street. My image in the congregation was always the most important thing to me, and it was always squeeky clean and immaculate, even at a time when i ceased to believe in the teachings of the WT. I regret not having grown-up and stopped being afraid, so that i could still have at least some friends from childhood... but hey i was young, ignorant and indoctrinated, so all i can do is not make the same thing happen again.
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misanthropic
Hi (((((((Tijkmo))))))) Nice to see you, I hope you will find happiness soon. You deserve it, you're one heck of a guy.
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Brigid
I do not have real regrets. I have learning lessons. I have done things that I have, thankfully, paid swift and hefty karmic debts for. I am always always looking for an opportunity to learn from the cosmic laws of cause and effect.
This example stays with me: I once made fun of an obese, terribly awkward girl in Jr. High when she got up the nerve to sing in front of the entire student body at a talent show. This came from a truly ugly, dark side of my psyche. I heckled this lovely being from the audience. She faltered but kept going (she showing herself so much more of a human being than I was manifesting at that time)--my friends thought I was so cool! She had an absolutely beautiful voice, btw. I wanted to inflict pain and crush this beautiful, courageous spirit for some reason. If I could take that incident back, I would. Suffice to say, I have known that abject humiliation and have hopefully paid that karmic debt. I send her blessings and thanks for helping me to learn.
~Brigid
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jojochan
it's just funny how you're own sister can tell you that you're dead in her eyes and nothing more than a whore....then i come here and confess it to people i haven't even met...and i'm still cared for....
That's what freinds are for, believe me I understand jojo
jojochan.
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Shining One
Kitty,
I hope you have forgiven him. If you harbor bitterness it turns inward and causes you problems, not the one you are holding a grudge against.
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jojochan
Also just wanted to add me being a dualist while I was in the collective. That was what bothered me. Too much to go on from there.
jojochan.
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Hellrider
I was bullied in the first and second grade. So, the next couple of years after that, I bullied a kid in my street, who was a couple of years younger than me. I dodn`t have to, because I had allready managed to put a stop of being bullied myself, so I really had no reason (not that bullying a thrid party just go get "revenge on the world" would be an excuse, but at least it might have been an explanation). I still remember how he looked like, and now that I`m an adult and have a kid myself, I realize what a sweet boy he was, and I`m so, so sorry. If I remembered his name, I would have looked him up and told him so.
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DanTheMan
I remember being really mean to a girl named Tammy back in grade school. She spoke with a terrible lisp, it was almost impossible to understand her. So one day on the playground I kept taunting her by saying "Hi my name is Tammy", imitating her lisp when I said it. I still remember how hurt she looked.
When I was a freshman in high school I met this girl at a Friday night dance. I was drunk, we made our way outside, and I'll leave the rest to your imagination. We talked on the phone quite a bit for the remainder of the weekend. That Monday she walked up to me at school, and while I recognized her, I also realized that the alchohol had greatly distorted my estimation of her attractiveness. So I ignored her. Just plain ignored her, like nothing had ever happened between us. She was really really hurt by it.
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Oroborus21
Regrets are a tricky thing after all we learn from bad experiences and mistakes. But I will share two, one JW related and one not.
In 1981 or 1980, we took in some Cuban brothers who came over in the Mariel boat lift? and needed a place to stay. I think the Society organized it so that any Witnesses that came over had a place to go to with the Spanish brothers. I don't know how this family came all the way to us in New Mexico.
Anyway, it was a huge family with lots of kids. One was my age. He didn't speak any English and I was supposed to walk with him back and forth to school (Elementary School) and you know help him fit in. But of course I had my own crew to roll with and best friend and didn't want to hang around this guy. So I think I ended up ditching him and eventually he walked by himself. I can't rememer how long it all lasted or the specifics. I think they were only with us a few months at most. If I was who I am now then, I would have done my best to help the poor guy fit in as best as I could.
But that isn't as bad as the next. This was like in 7th and 8th Grade. There was this girl, Nancy M-- she was a total social misfit but very smart. She was brash and outspoken and she got on a lot of our nerves. almost every body didn't like her, especially, she seemed to fight with guys and we wold sometimes joke about how "ugly" she was. (in hindsight she was probably not unattractive for a kid). Actually, I never really teased her or pestered her and wasn't involved with hurting her feelings, but since her and I were sometimes the top students we would sometimes clash - that was probably the extent of my bit towards her.
Well, I think it was after 8th grade, during the summer that our small town was rocked when her father was arrested for sexually molesting her. How long it had been going I don't know. She didn't return to school and I don't know where she moved. After that was revealed, it explained a lot of why she was angry a lot and why she sometimes would verbally clash with the guys for no apparent reason and why she deliberately kept herself unkempt and tried to look as bad as she could.
Even though I wasn't particularly involved with teasing her or anything, after that news came out, I felt really bad for her and how she was just treated in general. I've always wanted to apologize to her on behalf of the whole school.
-Eduardo