Having been fairly proud of my JW parent's behaviour (and to be honest, my handling of them) in the 13 years or so since I walked away I now find myself in a quandry.
I basically arranged my departure from the cult in such a manner that I would neither be DA'd or DF'd, to avoid a situation where their family loyalty might be streached by their adherence to Organsiational law. Why should I play by their rules and write a letter leaving an imaginary religion? For other people that may well be the right thing, but for me, no.
Now I intend to get married in a Roman Catholic church. I don't have to become a Catholic or take Mass or any such in order to do so. It's just a wedding service by a bloke in a frock.
It is at this point (having moaned for years about me 'living in sin') that they announce that not only will they not go to the wedding, but that getting married in a church will result in me DA'ing myself.
Quite frankly my first impluse is to tell them to go copulate themselves. However, I am the adult in the realtionship - they are the ones in a high control group. So, I want to do this nicely....
Now, I know that attending a church service is a matter of conscience, not an out-and-out rule, and will be able to make them feel like something they don't have a profane or dirty enough vocabulary to describe if they persist in that threat.
But, DA'ing oneself by getting married in a church? Huh? My dad gave me some photocopy that talked about JOINING a religious group being a DA'ing offense, and if that is all he has to go on, I can easily deal with his objections. But is there any clear direction in the literature that an "inactive" (LOL) person who gets married in a church is DA'ing themselves?
If any of the Elders posting here or lurking here can point me in the right direction, I'd be most endebted.
I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo pissed off about this... and if they play that way it is goodbye Mr-nice-Abaddon, hello Mr-Angel-of-the-Abyss.