A "friend" has died.

by Nellie 17 Replies latest jw friends

  • Nellie

    I met this man 17 years ago - new to the city, he was an elder in the congregation. His personality was warm and loud - (a New Yorker, of course) -- I had left home, but I was reminded of home every time he opened his mouth. One of the most endearing things about him was the way he pronounced Jehovah - with an "er" at the end, more like Jehover... boy was he loud and warm

    I told him how much he reminded me of my family, in particular, my brother ... and years later when my mother moved to Florida and joined his bookstudy - he cared for her like a son would. The night she laid dying in the hospital, I called him and he came ... running down the hall ... and we cried together.

    We've been through alot - us two . . . good and bad. We weren't friends that spoke daily - or weekly - through the years - but the feelings we had for eachother (and our families) were real. Next month will make 2 years since my mom's death. I asked him to give her funeral talk - At first he said he didn't know if he could - But then he said he "had to" - None of us thought he'd make it through it, and he almost didn't. He cried, we all cried - his tribute to my mother was wonderful - he was talking about someone he loved and we all knew it ...

    I have absolutely no desire to enter a hall again - but for him I must. I hope no one decides to try to "reach out" to me and warn me about "the time being short, etc." I hope no one decides they must make a sheparding call because seeing us reminds them that they haven't seen us. But I've got to go. It's the right thing to do.

    (In loving memory of Frank M.)

  • KW13

    He sounds like a really good man, its good you have those memories and you can keep hold of them.

  • bebu

    Nellie, I'm so sorry!

    Frank M. sounds like a real gem at heart, one that couldn't really be ruined by the WTS. I'm glad you had such a person in your life, and I'm sorry that he is gone now.

    Brace yourself for the funeral. I hope you get thru it alright.


  • Narkissos

    Heartfelt condolences Nellie.

    He sounds like a great person, which ultimately has nothing to do with religious labels.

    And it's an opportunity for everyone of us to remember the few or many good people we once used to be close to among JWs.

  • MsMcDucket

    Nellie, you're going for Frank, not for the organization. If you are not disfellowshipped, they may try to reach out; but, if you are disfellowshipped, expect the usual, ie, being set away from the good Witnesses.

  • rebel8

    How sad that you lost a good friend. I find funerals so difficult. (( ))

    If they start witnessing to you, remind them that a funeral is neither the time nor the place for that type of discussion. Highly inappropriate etiquette-wise. That may stop them in their tracks long enough for you to get away. "Yeah, you know, this is hardly the appropriate time or place for that. Nice talking to you though." Then walk away..........

  • Nellie

    MsM - no I'm not disfellowshipped or disassociated -- just disillusioned and distant

    I didn't leave on a bad note with the congregation. I just left. Surprisingly, no one has shunned me publically, but then again - I really haven't ran into many of them for a while.

    The reality of it is that I left of my own free will. If they were to decide to shun me, they would be doing me no harm. If I wanted to be there, I'd be there. It's a very comfortable place for me - knowing what I know.

  • serendipity

    ((( Nellie ))

  • mydiscounts

    How sad, you are in my prayers girl friend, be strong and keep your chin up, remember though we no longer believe we know there is a most high.

    This brother is in good keeping, I strongly believe we are all here for some purpose divine only to us, he fulfilled his and his untimely death will no doubt touch many people.

    Try your best to get through it with a smile, because there may be a few JWS just waiting for an opportunity to catch you at a low point and feel they are your healer or they can now point you in the right direction. Be strong and act casual and you can make it through

  • GoingGoingGone


    So sorry for the loss of your friend.


Share this