OK, I't My Turn As The Newbie

by BlackPearl 34 Replies latest jw friends

  • BlackPearl

    I'm not sure where to start, probably in two major areas. Of course the whole 607 B.C.E. mechanics thing, that can't work, and what I see as the lack of true love in the brotherhood. I've been in "the truth" or lack thereof, for about 30 years, give or take a little. I don't mean to be scarcastic about it, I've learned alot about Jehovah and his son. But a lot of it, on the other hand doesn't make any sense. Someday, I'll go into it. I think It's been about eight months since I've been to a meeting. After eight months, how many people do you think have called me to see if I was dead or alive?...One. One sweet old man, that I would truly call my brother, and would give my life for. (If you get a chance to watch a country music video T.V. channel, look for Brooks and Dunn's - "Believe" video, you'll know what I'm talking about)

    I've enjoyed reading your posts here, it makes me feel as though I'm not alone with my thoughts about the organization. Strangely enough, I'm not upset or mad, just ready to move on, not to another religion or anything like that, just move on. Maybe it's more about how I much I appreciate Jehovah and what he's given me, and to just cherish that, and appreciate it, to tell him how much I love him and his son for the life they gave me. No magic in it, no showy displays, just that I love him. I guess to, that I'm really disapointed in the brotherhood, there is no love where there used to be. Young men, brothers, of 12 years of age (give or take a few years) can no longer run the mics during the WT study, why? These little ones need to feel that they are valued, an integral part of the congregation, but they are not, and it saddens me.

    In other thoughts...I have to admit, things are really strange, and getting stranger by the day. The whole blood issue and all the confusion that seems to go with it, I couldn't ever figure out how I could possibly understand it well enough to make a logical set of decisions for the DPA form. From what I am gathering now, it's even more confusing of late, although if something is confusing to begin with, how could it be more confusing later? Don't know, not going to ponder that one now.

    I don't feel like complaing about the governing body or the organization, I just want to take away the positives and leave the negatives behind. I suppose I could look at it like this; the leaves that fall from the trees in the autumn are very messy to look upon after all the hard work I've put into the yard to make it look beautiful for the summer, but if I appreciate that those messy leaves, if left alone, they too have a purpose. They will provide a source of nutrients for the new spring growth, the new flowers that will need feeding, then perhaps I could change what I may see as negative and see it as a positive. So rather than complain, maybe I'll just try to see the positives, see people for what they are, for what they bring to the table. I've always done that, but for the life of me, I can't see why other people can't do it. Is it really that much easier to talk about your brother behind his back, to gossip, to label him as apostate, just because he has questions? I could not do it to another, but it is being done to me.

    I see more love from an old woman at a grocery store who gives me a smile and wink than I do from our brothers. I have to wonder, what is wrong with that picture, how can a complete stranger be kinder than those I worship God with? It does not make any sense to me. I am very frustrated and at the same time saddened to see what our brotherhood has come to, I don't see how it will stand the test of time, but maybe it will, it's not up to me.

    At any rate...I'm done with it, and I'm done for the evening.

  • deeskis


    you said it all...............nothing more to add.

    except glad you posted, stick around, hope you can share some more.

    best wishes


  • gespro

    Welcome to the board BlackPearl!!!
    You've found a springboard to freedom...

    ...but then again, you saw the truth when you observed the lack of the fruitages of the spirit in your congregation.

    The real truth sets us free


  • ringo5

    Welcome black pearl [ I am also a Johnny Depp fan]. Enjoyed your post and it’s good to see that you are looking for positives from your experience. But, if from time to time you do have feelings of anger, guilt, sadness, that go along with deconstructing a perceived reality that we’ve had for years, this is a good place to come and vent.

    And yes it is upsetting to see a seeming lack of love and the congregation, but to be fair, it is sometimes difficult for people to focus on this one simple trait when the whole organization is focusing on works and the treadmill of meetings and ministry.

    Tommorrow is a new day....

  • greendawn

    Welcome to the forum BP, you will find here many people that can identify with how you feel. True the JWs have no real fraternal love and therefore can't be true Christians holding the truth. In fact they are only pseudochristians since they belong to jehovah and not Christ.

  • FairMind

    You newbees always bring freshness to the forum. Welcome and we look forward to more of your posts.

  • Clam

    BlackPearl welcome and what a great first post. I really enjoyed reading it.

  • freedomlover

    Welcome BlackPearl - love your picture!

    Sounds like you are on the right track with things.

    We're glad you decided to start posting!


  • Miss_MG

    So happy you have joined us

  • Big Dog
    Big Dog

    Welcome to the board BP, hope to hear more about you! Glad you found this place, it helps.

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