Ive been reading this forum for a long time, but this new situation has come up and now it looks like I need your help.
I thought I dodged a bullet. My wife and I were both JWs, and we both left it together. After reading all your horror stories about leaving the truth and your spouse leaving too, I was amazed that things went as well as they did. But now, two years after we got free of that organization, were starting to talk about divorse.
Actually our 15 years of marriage have been rough. divorse has been an issue thats come up before. Often. But as JWs, it was never really an option. With two kids, it seems even less of one. (We have a daughter 8 years old and a 2 year old baby boy) But were also not happy together. Weve started to actually admit it to each other and honestly start talking about what can be done.
Currently, we dont sleep together. I sleep in the basement, ostensibly because I snore. But truth is, Im glad to have that time away, alone. And I think she feels the same. I could probably continue this way, but she feels that she needs to be loved. She told me tonight that she would rather move on, go get a real marriage. (Shes 36, Im 34). I would rather keep my children. If we divorse, Ill only have access to them half the time at best. Less, probably.
Understand, were tried to make this work. All its taught me is that I would never, ever, EVER allow myself to become entwined with another person. I would love to have my life back as my own. If we do divorse, I would never marry again. She on the other hand seems quite interested in the idea. I suggested that she get a boyfriend, but she didnt think much of the idea. (Pretty stupid, yeah, but I was brain storming.)
Heres the skinny: I dont want to divorse. I am happiest when were not together, but I dont want to be without my kids. She doesnt like the idea that Im unhappy when were together, and thinks divorse is the answer. But shes willing to entertain other possibilities. Trouble is I cant think of other possibilities.
Can you? Is there a middle ground here?
Thanks for your help,