Strangest Local Needs?!?!?!?!

by thepackage 53 Replies latest jw friends

  • Julia Orwell
    Julia Orwell

    " Anyway, at the next Service Meeting, a local needs talk was given discussing the situation, and the elders decreed that we should not take our children outside to discipline them anymore; instead we were to take them into the library and give them their whippings in there!!"

    We had a similar talk at our hall. The neighbours must have been getting upset. Also, we had one about how we needed to be quiet in the carpark after the night meetings because the neighbours had been complaining to the council about us carrying on at 10 o clock at night. I was one of the raucous laughers!!!

    At another hall we had one about how sisters shouldn't wear stuff that shows the shoulder, because the shoulders are near the breasts, and if a man sees a woman's shoulders he begins thinking about her boobs...funny thing was, his wife had huge boobs and you could often see her nipples through her shirt. Don't get excited though guys, she was fat, dumpy and gross.

    Always about how we women are responsible for what men think about.

  • Magwitch

    Great thread! Thanks for reviving it. My top three favorite "NeedsTalk"....... 3. brothers need to dry clean their suits regularly because of BO issues. 2.......we need to wash our hands after going to the bathroom so we do not spread germs. My favorite though was the talk given on bringing dirty diapers home so they do not sit in the trash for half the week and stink up the bathroom. It was 1991 and we had an influx of new babies. By the end of every meeting our main hall smelled like raw sewage because of all the dirty diapers stuffed in diaper bags and brought into the main hall.

  • Pistoff

    "One particularly disgusting brother came forward to say his wife had made a whole mess of chili and he had been eating it for leftovers all week.....thus giving him horrible gas. So basically he was sitting there sh!tting his pants all meeting getting a chuckle that everyone thought our sewer line was backed up."

    My favorite; guy just keeps farting, enough to make them think they had sewer problems!

  • JustVisting

    I've heard most of these or variations of these talks before, with the exception of Bro. Gaseous.

    We had one around the time they stopped the food service at Conventions telling the friends not to sell Mexican breakfast tacos to the delegates because we should not take advantage of our brotherhood!

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