I almost went last night, just to hear the local needs part . Instead I stayed home took a nap ,and watched the OC. The dumbest one we have had is a toss up, but probably the one about how to properly bathe ourselves so we don't have B.O.Then they say don't use deodorant,.colonge or perfume because so many have allergies. Most of the time I just wanted to hear why there have been so many elders meetings after the regular meeting.The local needs part usually takes away any doubt about whats going on in the hall .
Strangest Local Needs?!?!?!?!
After a nasty sewer backup, our KH had a talk about the proper disposal of tampons and diapers.Looks like this one is the winner, I don't think any of us can really believe such a talk was given, but there again being a Kingdom Hall we can.
I mean they would have to have had discussed it at an Elders meeting. Was this the only thing they could come up with for a local needs talk!
How long was this talk? Do he use scriptures? Was a back issue of the Watchtower cited?
(Could have used the "Revelation book" thats full of crap.)
Just what is the mentality of these people?
Trouble is you only notice it after you leave. You think to yourself "Oh God! was I like that"
He also said that sisters should stand against a wall to test if their skirt is too tight. If the skirt is against the wall all the way down, it is ok. Otherwise, it is too tight against her butt and will attract attention.
THAT has GOT to be the DUMBEST crock of sh!t i have ever heard!!! where in the hell do they come up with crap like that? i mean are there half wits in crooklyn whose job is to figure out a way to judge the tightness of a woman's skirt???
When the new Star Wars episodes were first coming out we had a talk saying we shouldn't see them because that would be the same as "eating at the table of demons".
Funny thing is, the PO who gave the talk was a Star Wars fan. But when the movies came out he didn't go, but his wife and kids did.
Since our congregation was full of teens (this was 20 years ago), we had talks regularly on the subjects of loose conduct, porn, masturbation, drug use, fornication (that last one right before it was announced that I was publicly reproved). We had an elder who used to beat the crap out of his kids, and sexually abuse his daughters--but I NEVER heard a talk about child abuse being wrong. They just demonized the teens.
If anyone has ever been in Memphis in the middle of summer, they'll know where I'm coming from with this next one.
So the district convention was a month away and this particular year was just atrocious. The humidity was at 90% and the heat index was around 105....anyway...so one of the eldorks was doing the little pep talk thing they do to get everyone excited about going to the convention. So then he gets to the part where the dress code is discussed. Nothing flashy, nothing shorts, no sneakers, no jeans, blahblahblah...then he says, ''And the BOE in this congo has noticed a trend at the past few conventions. It would seem that our sisters feel that since the heat is so bad, it excuses them from praising jehoover to the fullest extent. (at this point, us ladies were like, what the heck is this moron going on about?).....Let us remember that these flimsy sundresses and sandals that you wear are not befitting to a true christian. If jesus were to be at the convention would you wear a sundress and sandals or would you dress appropriately in a ladies suit with stockings and modest shoes? So it would behoove the sisters to keep this counsel in mind while shopping for the convention this year.''
Needless to say, after the concluding prayer he was mobbed by every female in the audience, including his wife and her mother. My mom threatened to dress him in a girdle and tights and make his sit for 7 straight hours.
< hoard of angry females
And we wore our sundresses and sandals that year and every year after.
He said that we should not chew gum in service, at the kingdom hall or at the assemblies. I remember that they used the example of a saleman and how would you respond to them if they were chewing gum like a cow. I don't remember what else was said because after that I was visualising a cow blowing bubbles. Public Radio Public radio is a tool of the Devil and should not be listened to by true christians. Dress and Grooming We had a lot of Local Needs on Dress and Grooming, luckily many of the sisters ignored the warnings.
We had a CO one time talk about gluttoney and how buffets should be avoided. Looking at the members of the Cong, perhaps that WAS an appropriate talk.
Everyone headed to the local fishhouse, where they serve ungodly amounts of food after that talk. Like tons of fried flounder, shrimp, hushpuppies, slaw and tartar sauce is going to be so much better for you than a buffet that includes a salad bar. Give me a break people!
The strangest thing about our local needs is the lack thereof. It seems like they dont want to leave the general issues like field service and meeting attendance, and dont want to go into the real problems of our congregation.
Anyway, at the next Service Meeting, a local needs talk was given discussing the situation, and the elders decreed that we should not take our children outside to discipline them anymore; instead we were to take them into the library and give them their whippings in there!!
Ahhhh yes... out of site, out of mind.