When I first saw the title of this thread the first thing that came to mind was, "NO! F*CK THEM! I don't exist only for the convenience of people who hate every breath I take." And no, I'm not exaggerating the way a certain few feel about me.
Then I read some of the posts in this thread, and I thought back to when I was a JW...
My dad was never a JW, only my mom was until I became one too. I remember some of the horrible things I said to him because he was, after all, nothing more than a Catholic with a drinking problem. Eventually my mother and I drove him out of our home. I shunned my Catholic sisters and their families because they would die at armageddon anyway. I didn't even invite my dad to my wedding. In short, I was a complete bastard to my family.
Over the years I began to notice things. Like the JWs ridiculing me when I was going through hard times with my health and finances. I went through many hardships, and without even asking him, my father always stepped up to help me through a difficult time - without question, and without a single word of reproach for the way I treated him. By the time he died we were the best of friends. He showed by example the meaning of unconditional love. Once I left the JWs the rest of my family was very supportive, and have bent over backwards to include me in their own family activities. They too, have never once given me the shit I so richly deserve.
So I am now going to do a complete about-face regarding my prior position regarding relatives who shun.
I believe it's best to show them unconditional love, even if they continue to treat you badly. Whether it's evident or not, you are making an impression on them.
W
