How does Shunning feel?

by DaveNwisconsin 48 Replies latest jw experiences

  • CountryGuy

    It sucks.

    And, to me, the thing that sucks the most is you never know how it's going to hit you. Most of the time, no problem. But, there have been a couple of times that it tore my heart out. I think when it hurts the most is when you can tell that it's hurting your friend as well. And, yes, I'm going to call them a friend, because if they didn't still care for you, then you wouldn't see the hurt in their eyes. Sadly, they still believe that what they are doing is what is wanted by God. So, then you feel crappy about the shunning, but even worse because you know that your friend is still stuck on the inside. And, the only reason that they won't talk to you are because of some old guys in Brooklyn.

    As for the people you didn't care about to begin with, eh, whatever. I think I'm going to try Avi's suggestion and sneak up on them and shout "Boo!" then watch them fall over themselves to get away from you.


  • hemp lover
    hemp lover
    Bad. Even when you know it is going to happen it is always a shock.

    Right on. For example, I knew that I would be shunned at my mother's funeral last August. What I didn't realize was how extreme it would be. Out of the 300 or so JWs there, most of whom have known me since the day I was born, only 12 came up to offer condolences. When I walked into the KH, it was like Moses parting the Red Sea - a path opened and several people literally turned their faces away. They also shunned my daughter, who's never even been baptized. Losing my mother was the single most painful thing that's ever happened to me and now on top of that pain, I have so much anger about that entire Midwestern week of hell. I could go on, but I've had a great day today and I can feel my blood rising so I'm gonna shut up and fix myself a cocktail instead. Cheers.

  • Elsewhere

    They say shunning is supposed to make you want to go back to the JW religion... all it did was piss me off and make me want to fight the religion even more.

    I suspect I have prevented 20 times more people from converting to the religion than I ever got to convert to the religion while I was a JW.

    If they had only left me alone.

  • joanne_

    Shunning feels terrible. And in turn, it feels awful to shun someone. I could never do it when I was still in. I always felt in my heart that it was'nt my place to judge and shun people. That is God's job.

  • hemp lover
    hemp lover
    I suspect I have prevented 20 times more people from converting to the religion than I ever got to convert to the religion while I was a JW.

    Me, too. Never really thought of it that way before. When I told a coworker what happened at my mom's funeral, she said, "Well, that wasn't a very good witness for Jehovah, was it?" It was like a moment out of an anti-assembly part. Keep fightin' the fine fight, brutha.

  • mjarka911

    It feels like shit. When the mother that gave birth to you would choose to abandon you because a bunch of old white assholes lie and say god talks to feels real bad!

  • delilah
    Like I had suddenly grown horns from my head, and fangs, and roamed around looking to devour every JW I came across.....'cause that's how I was treated when I was DF'd, and again after I faded. No difference. It became laughable after awhile, and now, I don't even recognize who they are anymore, but I can sense them staring at me from a distance, as happened today in the Mall. never made me want to go back, though, just pi$$ed me off.
  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    Shortly after I was DFed I wnet to the bank and joined a rather long line waiting to use the ATM. As I stood there I looked around and saw the husband of my best friend. He looked away and then walked away. I had about 10 people in front of me. He had 2 and he just walked out.

    I remember thinking how stupid it all was. All he had to do was turn his head and stay in line.

    I think what hurt is that they had no idea what happened or why. They were just taking the word of the elders that I was no longer fit to be a JW.

    A few years after I was DFed I saw the wife of one of the elders on my JD. I had heard her husband died. I knew she would shun me and she did. But as she was looking at a table of merchandise I walked up to the other side and offered my condolences. She looked at me for a second, surprised that I would talk to her. And then she looked down and I watched as this mature strong vital woman turned into a child, afraid she would be caught talking to me. She uttered Thank you and I just saw too much pain in her face. I walked away.

    What struck me is this "bad child" image I saw in her face and in her whole body. It was the oddest thing.

    I have worked with people with Dissociative Identiy Disorder (Multiple Personality Disorder). Watching her I fully realized the power of the WTS to create a different personality for those who become members. The call it "putting on the new personality". Believe me, after watching the switch there is no doubt in my mind that it truly exists.

  • beksbks

    Everyone in my large family has been a JW since birth. When I left the only other family member out, was my sister. I faded, I moved away. I'm happy to say my parents got out while I was gone doing my wild thing. When I got a little older, a little more mature, and started having children, (one of whom is named after my aunt who has never seen her) I started remembering all of the family get togethers, huge wonderful things. Those people now treat you as though you had leprosy. It feels horrible. You know the dreams where you are screaming, but you can make no sound? A lot like that. But I still believe that a good portion of them are suffering too. I believe they miss us. I believe they are plain scared.

  • Thomas Poole
    Thomas Poole

    Actually when I excommunicated the Watchtower in 1993 for apostasy, heresy, and spiritism, they remained arrogant like the queen of babylon. I am sure the plagues of defiance shall be upon them in the future. It is written "When one is free Christ they are free indeed." The blood of the saints are upon them. Come Lord Jesus.

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