Nightmares?

by elliej 16 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  Lilycurly

  It goes away....

  At first, I dreamt constantly that I was at the KH, listening to talks and just asking myself "Why I am here!? No, I'm not supposed to be here!" Or even worse, I was out in service and wasn't ready at all, and I knew I didn't beleive anything they wanted me to say. It feels horrible. I assumed it was just my brain that was so accustomed to those activities, and it just needed to fit them in for awhile.

  Now it's less and less frequent, but just yesterday, I dreamt I was at some kind of JW convention, and there was a paper to fill about Harry Potter knowledge, lol, of all things. We had to write what congo we were in, and I looked at my dad, because we both knew that I hadn't attend a meeting in two years. That was strange.
• 

  elliej

  I don't think you have much to worry about if you just moved to Bahrain. I don't think there are many kingdom halls there so the elders shouldn't bother you.

  HaHa, I'm living here with my former "Brother" Michael-just kidding. Just deep under cover, a little paranoid you know.

  Thanks for all the replies, it's nice to know I'm not all alone. My husband doesn't like to talk much about it, he's in a different place than I am. I haven' t told him about the nightmares because I don't want him to think that its some kind of a sign. When I first told him what I had learned he said he prayed for God to have witnesses come to the door if it was the truth and wouldn't you know it, there they were two days later. We had already lived in our new house for over two months, so I figured they were past due. I think he's at a point where he can see that it's bogus, but he doesn't know where else to turn. I try to leave him alone about it, I guess we all have to go at our own rate, but I do drop little bits of info on him every other day or so. He takes it well and is disgusted, but he doesn't want to get involved with apostates. Our only family ties to the KH are on his side, and I'm afraid that they will mount an attack to get him back, they all see me as the bad guy, but that is a whole different story.

  Anyway, thanks for the support, it means so much.
• 

  AlmostAtheist

  People that suffer traumatic events often report dreams about it. If anything, let your dreams serve as a confirmation to you that you did the right thing in getting out. Your dreams are telling you that you experienced something so bad, your brain wants to sort it all out.

  Dave
• 

  YoursChelbie

  Hi,

  I'm not sure if you have children. If you do, it is even better that you make a resolve not to return to the cult. The mind control, the threats of the Big A, them telling you what you can and can't read ---even their old literature! It's just not healthy for children. Keep informing your husband with bits and pieces of information and hopefully he will come realize that it's not something he should return to or get involved with again.

  Welcome to the forum!
• 

  elliej

  I'm not sure if you have children. If you do, it is even better that you make a resolve not to return to the cult. The mind control, the threats of the Big A, them telling you what you can and can't read ---even their old literature! It's just not healthy for children. Keep informing your husband with bits and pieces of information and hopefully he will come realize that it's not something he should return to or get involved with again.

  I do have children and I would NEVER consider returning to this cult. As a matter of fact, my kids are doing great in getting rid of the old thinking. I never totally immersed them though, I can't tell you when the last time I took them out in service was, at least five years and they are still very young. We just celebrated our first Christmas, and they loved it. My little one believes in Santa (I never told her any different because I didn't want her to tell the other little kids in her pre-school class) and I dissolved in tears listening to her sing "Santa Clause is Coming to Town". This kid was born to celebrate, and now she can.

  As for my husband, I have a great marriage and love him dearly. I think that is why I fear that someone will try to come between us, but I don't really think it could happen. I just want to put off any confrontations until he is as positively sure as I am and able to support any arguments against us. It is even intimidating for me to think about having to argue with an elder or even one of his witness relatives. They can be very combative. When we told one of them, his closest relative in "the Truth", he became angry and defensive, raised his voice and got really disgusted (he is, by the way, one of the biggest hypocrits in the whole entire world, but that is another story!). We were astonished that he took it that way, so personally, like it was some sort of an attack on him. We simply stated that we no longer agreed with the organization. Hopefully he'll just let it go ( he has enough problems of his own) and we won't hear from anyone else.
• 

  Finally-Free

  When we told one of them, his closest relative in "the Truth", he became angry and defensive, raised his voice and got really disgusted ... We were astonished that he took it that way, so personally, like it was some sort of an attack on him.

  That was the reaction I got from every JW I spoke to about my doubts, including my ex and elders. It was impossible to have a discussion without having them become defensive, belligerent, and even abusive in their speech. They always perceived my questions as a personal attack. I could not make them understand that they and the WTS were separate entities, and that my criticism of the watchtower was not a criticism of them.

  W
• 

  AlmostAtheist

  I think he's at a point where he can see that it's bogus, but he doesn't know where else to turn. I try to leave him alone about it, I guess we all have to go at our own rate, but I do drop little bits of info on him every other day or so.

  On that score, there may be some useful info in this thread for you: "Where else are we to go?" - How to answer?

  Dave