Well, the only funny part is the last sentence...
Post your funny here!
by misspeaches 45 Replies latest social humour
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JH
At McDonalds, I'm on the menu
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misspeaches
Of Mice and Men
Aussie man gets drunk, eats rodent tail A pub in Queensland held a Jackass promotion night which ended in two men chewing the tails off live mice to try to win a holiday. Tony McGee drank beer and bourbon for six hours before the contest, during which he set off a mouse trap with his tongue, sucked up chillies through a straw, ate a cup of maggots, and drank a pint of anchovies and a pint of mouthwash. He was so drunk that he has no memory of eating the mouse-tail, and was said to be in shock when he found out. After leaving court, where he was fined $500, journalists asked McGee if he had any advice for other competitors. His response: "Don't eat mice."
Moscow Zoo tried to warm up an elephant in the -30 degree weather with a bucket of vodka. It sent him off on a drunken rampage.
Lips Inc 2
Is Pete wearing his stomach on his face? Pete Burns claims that his remarkable lips are made from foetus penises. "It's a thing called Alloderm, which is the foreskins off unborn babies," he told Bent magazine. Mystery solved? Not quite. Popbitch's medical expert says Alloderm is a filler made from cadaver skin or skin taken from another site on the patient's body, usually used on burns victims. Dr Dawny says "It is impossible for Pete's lips to be made of harvested foreskins as they would be rejected by his immune system." A friend of Burns tells us that the tissue used in the lips was in fact taken from Pete's stomach... FYI: the same friend claims that Pete's famous coat is made from Colobus monkeys, not gorillas. The name colobus means "mutilated one", which refers to the fact that the monkey has four fingers but no thumb. Some African tribes use colobus monkey fur to make ceremonial robes.
Popbitch heroes
In praise of The Un-named Latvian A 50 year-old man in eastern Latvia was run over and killed at Christmas, with a blood- alcohol content more than 17 times the legal driving limit. It was also more than twice the level considered to be lethal. Police said the man had probably been drinking home-made alcohol for several days because it would be impossible to attain that blood-alcohol level in just one day. Respect.
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Mr.Beaker
There's an Englishman, Irishman & Scotsman all talking about their teenage daughters.
The Englishman says "I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day & I found a packet of cigarettes. I was really shocked as I didn't even know she smokes".
The Scotsman says "That's nothing. I was cleaning my daughter's room theother day when I came across a half full bottle of Vodka. I was really shocked as I didn't even know she drank."
With that the Irishman says "Both of you have got nothing to worry about.
I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day when I found packet of condoms.
I was really shocked. I didn't even know she had a willy."
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misspeaches
Mr.Beaker asked me to post this because he is too lazy to do it himself...
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Legolas
I don't know if this is allowed here...they put their finger up at the end!
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Latte
Helping the Aging Housewife
when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive
woman.
