I could never do enough, while at the same time, more and more demands were necessary to even "serve jehovah"!!!!!!
What made you lose your joy in serving Jehovah?
a group of young elders/pharisees that kept making rules and being a burden on the flock, which led me to questioning why they were elders to begin with, which led me to questioning the procedure of appointing elders, which led me to questioning the whole idea of the FDS, which led me, eventually, to realize that there is no true religion, which led me to continue to question.....
All the hours of praying and having the feeling that nobody was listening.
What Joy ????
i began losing my joy when my soon-to-be-ex DA-ed himself.
this may be too much for a "newbie" to share... but here goes:
my stb-ex left the org. my family freaked out. i had to do damage control. my elders never spoke to me (i mean like, not even say hi at the meeting). my best-friends began leaking gossip and slander (needless to say no longer best-friends) about me and my family and soon thereafter, stopped talking to me (note: i was still attending all my meetings at the time, and like a good lil' witnoid, still commenting et al.). my sister who was desperately trying to make it back into the org. was completely ignored by her elders (like after going for 12 months saying stupid things like "are you new?"). so i felt there was a lack of unity and love. this coupled with the existential questions and doubts i had had most of my short adult-life...
then one night, when i had given up most of my brainwashed beliefs, i was smoking outside at 3 in the morning and i prayed "if you do exist jehovah, please show me with a display of perseids"... i only saw one.
and that's when all the joy had finally left me.
Many here have pretty much summed it up:
The lack of love shown in the KH's
The cliques and little clubs that exist ie pioneers, elders wifes etc.
The constant do more, do more until you finally realize you DON'T really want to do MORE
The abuse of power by the Elders, CO's and MS's (their freinds and family can get away with anything)
The enormous amount of time spent on preparing for and attending those d**n, boring A*s Meetings
peddlingplacing and studying of material that is just meant to indoctrinate/brainwash and block any semblance of indepentant intelligent thinking by their members, which proves that the GB are malicious and know exactly what they are doing!
I could go on, but it's getting late....
The hypocritical actions of the people in the Kingdom Hall!
I began to see that the WTBTS was slowly taking our individuality away and making us into uniform, mindless, marching drones.
The grueling meeting and field service schedule.
The sheer number of rules that kept growing all the time. I knew that most of them were not based on scripture, but more on the opinions of old geezer men.
The constant pressure to do more, do more, do more.
When I moved into a congo where I could not make friends. They lacked love. Just missing some meetings while your entire family repeatedly got strepthroat made you become suspect therefore marked.