The tiresome, repetitive, meaningless drudgery.
What made you lose your joy in serving Jehovah?
There was never joy in it for me. It was just always pushed upon me from childhood. "Serve God or Die " etc. Who would find joy in that?
I haven't lost the joy of serving Jehovah, but won't do it through a group of cruel self-serving hypocrites. My loyalty will lie with Jehovah until HE proves me wrong, and I'll try to serve Him in productive and joyful ways -- which don't include putting in appearances at meetings and being judged by men who neither know nor care about my heart.
I don't think I ever really had "joy".
This is what I recently tried to convey to my mother. Everything I did, I did because I had to, not because I wanted to. You had to go out in service, you had to attend meetings, assemblies etc. I don't recall too many times where I actually wanted to go to a meeting. But I did all those things on the outside, and there was no joy inside.
As long as you are putting on the "apperance" of doing what you are supposed to be doing, everything must be ok.
Ditto to Willow's comments. I feel exactly the same way.
I was lied to many times. I was slandered many times. I saw this happening to others and realized it was business as usual.
Finding out that, a) the witnesses know jack-s*it about 'Jehovah' and that b) there is no Jehovah.
Well JOY spells
With the WTBTS it is Organization 1st
That is why I lost my Joy
1. Constant push to go to the meetings, which was supposed to be teachings for life, but I felt like I was slowly dying
2. When an elder said he did not want his niece to hang around my daughter.....when the only time they saw each other was at the KH. I thought.......where is there a safer place to speak to someone than the hall?
3. When I signed up to aux pioneer for one month as I was unemployed, then I got a job that started that same month............I did aux pioneer but it was if I really did nothing as far as anyone was concerned in the congo. I saw others that could give time but not as much as a sacrifice as it was for me and get treated specially or with favor.
4. When I sat in a meeting one particular night and looked around at the ones attending the meeting...........and thought to myself if this is the ones I will spend forever and ever in paradise with.......I don't want to be there.
5. When I felt sure my intelligence was completely insulted...........the icing on the cake.
I am not sure if the God I know and the God the Organization know is the same ..........The way I saw Jehovah.......he was not so nick picky and did not really care about the length of skirts or a little too much mascara or how bright a tie is ..........or if someone had a beard or even if they had shoes......I think that is all man made.........My God sees the inner being ........the heart and I am content with that and if there is any judgement day.........none of us can really decide who is chosen and who is not until the outcome. blah blah blah
6. Oh..........when I was disfellowshipped.
7. The ill treatment and total discount of single women.........they have to do it all.......work, raise kids, get to meetings, mow the lawn, take care of the car.......etc etc........and then come to a meeting and a brother that cannot hardly tie his shoes gets to carry mics!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am not blaming anyone..........this is just what took away my joy.
(thanks for letting me get this out!!!!!)