What weird things have you read in the bible?

by stillAwitness 59 Replies latest jw friends

  • stillAwitness

    The fact that Nimrod's name means: "He stirred up the whole earth to rebel"

    and yet Ezra's name means: "help"

    I don't get it? What caused Nimord's mother to name him something that had such a negative meaning and yet he turned out to be just that? Or maybe the meaning of their names come after they accomplish what they are set out to do?

    Am I the only one who sees weird things like this in the Bible?

  • MungoBaobab

    As a gung-ho teenage Witness I set out to read the whole Bible. I made it as far as Sodom and Gomorrah, when I literally threw down my Bible in disgust at Lot's incest episode. Yeah right- the greatest story ever told. I wonder why they left that one out of My Book of Bible Stories?

  • calico
    As a gung-ho teenage Witness I set out to read the whole Bible. ; I made it as far as Sodom and Gomorrah, when I literally threw down my Bible in disgust at Lot's incest episode. ; ; ; ; ; ; Yeah right- the greatest story ever told. ; I wonder why they left that one out of My Book of Bible Stories?

    I remember bringing up this story and here's the explanation I received--"Things were different back then." If I hear THAT one more time......

    Can you imagine a book of bible stories made from all the horrible incidents in the Bible?! Geez!

  • calico
    Huh? A bunch of women married to one man don't make more babies. There is still only so many women, they can only give birth so many times whether it's a shared sperm donor or your own personal sperm donor. Roughly 50% of the population is female, hooking them all up to one man doesn't speed up population growth.

    I never thought about this before--you are right, it doesn't make any difference! You know a man wrote that, huh!

  • Confession

    Great thread. While trying to read the entire Bible cover-to-cover, I too came upon the story of Judah having sex with his daughter-in-law, Tamar.

    Oh, of course he didn't know it was his daughter-in-law. He just thought she was a prostitute; that's all. WTF?

  • scout575

    What about this little 'gem' from 1 Corinthians 14:35: "If they will learn any thing let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in church." Good thing that husbands know far more about the Bible than their wives, that way they're able to answer their ignorant wives if they ever have a Bible question.

  • tetrapod.sapien
    "The Lord is gracious, and full of compassion; slow to anger, and of great mercy. The Lord is good to all, and his tender mercies are over all his works." --Psalms 145:8-9 (KJV)

    - right? let's continue on:

    "And it came to pass, that at midnight the Lord smote all the firstborn in the land of Egypt, from the firstborn of Pharaoh that sat on his throne unto the firstborn of the captive that was in the dungeon; and all the firstborn of cattle. And Pharaoh rose up in the night, he, and all his servants, and all the Egyptians; and there was a great cry in Egypt; for there was not a house where there was not one dead." Exodus 12:29-30
    "If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them." Leviticus 20:13 "And while the children of Israel were in the wilderness, they found a man that gathered sticks upon the sabbath day. And they that found him gathering sticks brought him unto Moses and Aaron, and unto all the congregation.... And the Lord said unto Moses, The man shall be surely put to death: all the congregation shall stone him with stones without the camp. And all the congregation brought him without the camp, and stoned him with stones, and he died; as the Lord commanded Moses." Numbers 15:32-36 "And the Lord said unto Moses, Take all the heads of the people, and hang them up before the Lord against the sun, that the fierce anger of the Lord may be turned away from Israel. And Moses said unto the judges of Israel, Slay ye every one his men that were joined unto Baalpeor." Numbers 25:4 "But of the cities of these people, which the Lord thy God doth give thee for an inheritance, thou shalt save alive nothing that breatheth: But thou shalt utterly destroy them; namely, the Hittites, and the Amorites, the Canaanites, and the Perizzites, the Hivites, and the Jebusites; as the Lord thy God hath commanded thee." Deuteronomy 7:1-2, 20:16-17 "And they warred against the Midianites, as the Lord commanded Moses; and they slew all the males.... And Moses was wroth with the officers of the host, with the captains over thousands, and captains over hundreds, which came from the battle. And Moses said unto them, Have ye saved all the women alive? .... Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him. But all the women children, that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves." Numbers 31 "And they utterly destroyed all that was in the city, both man and woman, young and old, and ox, and sheep, and ass, with the edge of the sword". Joshua 6:21 (i am named after this guy! great hey!?) "And he smote the men of Bethshemesh, because they had looked into the ark of the Lord, even he smote of the people fifty thousand and threescore and ten men: and the people lamented, because the Lord had smitten many of the people with a great slaughter." 1 Samuel 6:19 "And [Elisha] went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head. And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the Lord. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them." 2 Kings 2:23-24 "And Amaziah strengthened himself, and led forth his people, and went to the valley of salt, and smote of the children of Seir ten thousand. And other ten thousand left alive did the children of Judah carry away captive, and brought them unto the top of the rock, and cast them down from the top of the rock, that they all were broken in pieces." 2 Chronicles 25:11-12 "Behold, the day of the Lord cometh, cruel both with wrath and fierce anger, to lay the land desolate: and he shall destroy the sinners thereof out of it.... Every one that is found shall be thrust through; and every one that is joined unto them shall fall by the sword. Their children also shall be dashed to pieces before their eyes; their houses shall be spoiled, and their wives ravished. Behold, I will stir up the Medes against them, which shall not regard silver; and as for gold, they shall not delight in it. Their bows also shall dash the young men to pieces; and they shall have no pity on the fruit of the womb; their eyes shall not spare children." Isaiah 13:9,15-18 "And I will dash them one against another, even the fathers and the sons together, saith the Lord: I will not pity, nor spare, nor have mercy, but destroy them." Jeremiah 13:14 "Samaria shall become desolate; for she hath rebelled against her God: they shall fall by the sword: their infants shall be dashed in pieces, and their women with child shall be ripped up." Hosea 13:16 " Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones." ps 137:9 "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces." mal 2:3

  • Eyebrow2

    the talking ass....who was beating it...Balek or someone?

    absurd....and the whole fish and loves thing....I think Jesus just ordered some bread sticks online at www.pizzahut.com and had one of the apostles start handing them out.

  • Oroborus21


    I will give you 3 explanations.

    1. it is just coincidence. There are many "good" guys and "bad" guys and regular folks too in the bible who's name "fits" what they did, whose name doesn't fit what they did, or whose name seems to have no reflection on what they did. It's a fun game to look up the meaning of their names and see if it did or didn't fit what they did or who they were. By the way your name probably means something too, does it fit you?

    2. Revisionist history/Character typing. Some of the bible seems to have been written to put together a history, sometimes lyrical and poetic, sometimes mythical or legendary. You only need to look no farther than Adam and Eve to understand what I mean. Adam meaning red earth or Earthling man or just "man" and Eve meaning "living one" as in she was made living are two proto-typical examples.

    They seem to be names given to these characters after the fact as though the bible writers were assigning them these names not because they were really their names but because this was their CHARACTER or their mythic-type, or archtype.

    And then again, some names were changed for example Abram to Abraham in order to render the meaning more appopriate to the action. Whether this was actually done by the person or by God or by the bible writers we do not know for certain.

    Regarding Nimrod, who is probably a fictional or allegorical person, notice that the bible doesn't say that it was his actual name, but rather that he was "called Nimrod" which means "rebel". This describes his action or what he did or his character. If there was a real Nimrod he probably did not have that actual name but only later when the bible writers were passing down the story (first orally) was he "called" a rebel, from the Hebrew verb which meant rebel.

    3. Names are prophetic and impact upon development.

    I have a theory that a person's name can shape one's personality as they mature.

    It is really quite simple. Every name, indeed every word in one's native tongue carries with it (like a portemanteau or suitcase) a whole array of psychological and emotional impact. We know this intuitively.

    Further from a sociological perspective there is an inherent tendency for us to associate certain characteristics and personality aspects with certain names and this also feeds into the development of the personality as one matures.

    What do names like Melvin, Daryl, Timmy, Arthur suggest to you?

    What do names like Rex, Thurman, Tony, or Troy suggest?

    What do names like Michael, David, Timothy suggest?

    What kind of persons would you expect Shaniqua, La Shonda, or Patrice to be?

    What about Billy Ray, Jim Bob or Bo?

    You see even at a young age every name invokes a sense of weakness, strength, intellect or not, artistry, etc. And think about it, we are constantly, constantly called by our names from infancy.

    It is inevitable and predictable to an extent what kind of person we might turn out to be with a given name.

    In F. Herbert's Dune, sound itself, words, are turned into a weapon. There is power that is harnessed from the very meaning and sound of the words because there is power that resides within such. this reminds me of the scripture regarding that the Name of God is "fear inspiring" or powerful. Is it possible that the actual name of god (as correctly pronounced) had real power? Some believe so.

    food for thought,


  • DannyBloem
    Yet she multiplied her whoredoms , in calling to remembrance the days of her youth, wherein she had played the harlot in the land of Egypt.
    For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses.

    Whow, penisses like the size of the ones of asses and horses....

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