by lucifer 41 Replies latest jw friends
I really really hated doing it with "brother or sister rodupmyarse" they were usually the stepford wife type that you had nothing in common with.
Oh those were the glory days. When you were expected to be more than loving within the most desperate of situations. I in fact did find myself adjusting and come to see that many of us as witnesses were rather regular folk, and then there were the @$$holes that nobody could fix.
At the back of the mind one thinks why should I be their slave, or is it right to bring people into an unloving destructive org such as this?
This is how I now feel and most likely how many other JWs feel. I used to enjoy Field Service because of the camaraderie and the challenges of effectively using the Bible.
you aren't going to have much success at something if you hate it and I didn't know anyone other than my mother who enjoyed it.
I never admitted it to myself while in, but I hated it. I fooled myself into thinking that I was doing the right thing therefore I would feel better once I got out there. But every time it was the same thing; try to pre-arrange a car group of people that I could tolerate and people who would waste all morning making RVs to people who were never home.
By the time service was over, even for a Saturday morning, I was exhausted. I just wanted to go home and take a nap. I was told that Satan and his demons were opposing us so hard in our work that's why we were so tired after service. We were battling him as much as we were knocking on doors. Well, of course that's all bullshit. My opinion is now that we were forcing ourselves to do something we didn't like and was unnatural, something that wore us out emotionally, physically and spiritually.
We used to have an elder who'd always pipe up about daniel and the lion and that Jehovah would never allow any of us to be attacked while doing his work.One day he got bit.
I got bit also while out in service. That's why I was so afriad of dogs.
Absolutely HATED it!
Dragged myself (or got dragged) out of bed.
Went to group with parents bitching at each other all the way there, then watching them put on their "happy" faces for everyone else.
Got shoved into a stinky car (either a sister with too much perfume on - or one of those car air fresheners I couldn't stand the smell of).
Got paired up with a partner that would make ME do all the doors.
Thought about how much I didn't want to bring anyone into this miserable life I was existing in, while out in service doing just that!
Went to McDonalds for coffeebreak, where my parents couldn't afford to buy me anything other than a tea. Drooled over the other kids who got french fries, a coke, or a burger.
Went on Return Visits for another hour.
Came home thoroughly car sick...yes, literally SICK!
Rose
It's funny how before I found this site, I'd run into a zealous brother after I left, and they always tried to use pleasant memories to get me to consider coming back. More than once, I got the line "Remember all the good times we had out in FS?" All I would do is smile and nod.
Really, what's so memorable about FS? It's the same shit over and over again. I remember when I was working on becoming a "better" unbaptized publisher. I probably spoke at a total of about 10 doors. I used my shyness as an excuse to get the other person to do the presentation.
It got bad when it really started to hit me that I wasn't a friggin salesman. I was a problem solver! So what the hell was I doing going door to door trying to "sell" magazines? That's when I pulled the shyness card even more so.
I keep trying to remember something pleasant or enjoyable about FS. I can't. I can't remember anything but walking down the street, knocking on all those unmemorable doors, with all those unmemorable faces saying "no thank you", and filling those sheets with those same "NH" acronyms. I'm not sure where the good memories were supposed to be.
Even the coffee breaks weren't memorable. I had a donut. Yay. I'll remember that one donut for the rest of my life.
This is the thread I started on MY feelings about service....
I hated it. Prancing round on a sat/sun with a briefcase, suit on and polished shoes, trying to charge people for a large piece of toilet paper!
I used to love field service™. I love to dress up in a suit because I look much hotter in a suit. The sisters™ drooled over my manly form, as did the female householders™. I enjoyed preaching the Truth™ to people because it demonstrated how far above them I was. I would survive armageddon, but they would become "as manure on the surface of the ground", and I enjoyed gloating over them. During our frequent coffee breaks at Tim Hortons I brought my service bag™ in so other JWs would see that my bag was better than theirs, and held more books and magazines. My return visit book had many entries, and was very thick. This showed the brothers™ that I was a strong spiritual man™. While sipping coffee I would boast of my teaching™ abilities while the sisters™ drooled and the brothers™ gasped in awe.
I've just succeeded in making myself sick.
W
