I know that we all felt the Witnesses were to over the top on their restriction on sex, but do we want our children to be sexually active the way we wanted to be? For example, should they have sex in high school with their girl/boy friends? Should they not be committed to anyway, and just have sex with whoever feels good at the moment, or better yet, who ever is willing? I guess what I am growing to realize, is that when my son gets older, I still have some conservative feelings about sex and young people. I wish he would wait until marriage and yet, could I expect him to do something I did not? I think for me as a parent, it will be a point to just try and get him to have respect for sex and not just see it as simply getting off. I think he will need to show a responsible nature and I hope he grows in communication with me as a parent to actually admit to doing it and not hide it. I do not want to be one of those parents who brag about their virgin child, while others in the room know otherwise and see me as a fool. I don't want a child who is multi-partnered before even leaving school, and hope who ever he does have sex with is someone he has feelings for. At the same time, I will warn him not to marry the first person he has sex with, just because he feels something he never did before (Seen that mistake more then I could count!). I don't know, he is to young right now to deal with it, but young enough to set down steps to what I hope he becomes. I just wondered how other parents and would be parents would see this "young people and sex" issue. Where not Witnesses anymore ... but are our morals still Witness?
Those with children, do you want your children to be sexually active?
by free2beme 24 Replies latest jw friends
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Sparkplug
Where not Witnesses anymore ... but are our morals still Witness?
I have a problem with this. My brother who is still so close to my kids stays in the JW's because he wants a set of morals. I have to say that we can have morals and not be JW's. They did not invent them, nor are the very good at implementing them in a healthy manner.
I have two teen age youth in my home. No I don't want them running around haveing sex with everyone, but I am trying to teach them realistic ways of viewing sex. The emotional reasons why having sex so young is not smart. So that they do not loose flip out when they do and marry the first one that comes along.
I see the curiosity in both of them, but the one would rather die before he approaches the subject, with a girl,
...and the other, who is 13 has opportunities and wisely knows she is not ready. She has many kids she knows who are active, and she tends to try to talk them out of it.
I think my one child would say when she has, and I don't think the other will tell me when he is 30. lol
At any rate, No I do not think I have JW morals. I am glad. (Leads to a lot of baggage, low self worth and a ton of psych issues. I have a balance on my morality now, and have learned that I am not so confused now that "I" have control of my sexual morality.
It is nice to not have the JW police about, and therefore has changed my outlook on the extreme differences in my actions. It is now, not so "all or nothing".
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prophecor
Our world has taken the loving expressions between adults, and have transposed them into a place of acrobatics and moral destructiveness. Sexual relations, as they apply to adults should be reserved for adults. To give licsense to adolescents who most probably have no clue as to how precious and sacred sexual energy is, should be encouraged to wait until they are older and in a committed relationship in order to express those desires. Sex has continued to be given a bad name by how it is presented in the media; radio, music television, books, advertisements and the like. It sells everything from soap to cereal to sports to cars and there's no end in sight to how it is that sex has been cheapened.
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MsMcDucket
Only when they're old enough and well off enough to accept the responsibilities that come with children. I have all girls. I've always told them that marriage doesn't mean that the man will always be there. I taught them that they will need to have a good job. Right now, I don't want them to be sexually active (well the younger ones). I have girls and I don't want them hurt, and I don't want them to get any sexually transmitted diseases, or unwanted pregnancies.
I do want them to have a healthy concept of sexuality, and not to fear sex.
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Sparkplug
To give licsense to adolescents who most probably have no clue as to how precious and sacred sexual energy is, should be encouraged to wait until they are older and in a committed relationship in order to express those desires.
I think that is what I am trying to say. lol
Basically I am not going to condem my kids if and when they do.. (If they are still young) and at the same time am not going to close the doors so that if they do decide to have sex before they get out of high school, they know how to protect themselves inside and out. It is a scary world out there and teen numbers are off the chart here in Dallas for sexual diseases.
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BizzyBee
You may quote me: The only thing worse than imagining your parents having sex, is imagining your children having sex...........
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KW13
i remember the 'Young People Ask' Book and how this was sin, this was wrong e.t.c
It damaged me for a while, and it took me over a year to get rid of some of the stuff i was told, even if i didn't believe it i still had it in my head.
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Beck_Melbourne
That was a tough one when my kids were younger (a whole 3 years ago LOL). You don't need the JW mind-set to find the right and best way to deal with this when your teens reach that age.
Personally, I allowed my daughter to go on the pill at 17, she'd been in a relationship for a year, and we did the mum / daughter chat thing. She was comfortable enough (and still is) to talk to me freely about it. She is still in the same relationship (now 20 yrs old) and she has no real hang ups about sex. My only dilemma is that because he (her boyfriend) stays with us (a lot), they may NEVER move out
~Beck~
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prophecor
Realistically speaking, you can only encouage them from restraining themselves. The feelings and emotional enegy of teens today is probably a lot stronger than when I was a teen. You at least have more room as a teen today to fulfill those desires. Teens are more like miniature versions of adults these days, as it pertains to how intensively sexually aware they are.
When they get to a place where they have the room to freely explore those urges and desires, all you can hope for, is that they'll respond to the situation with as much care, common sense and restraint as is humanly possible in the life of an adolescent.
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Gretchen956
My son grew up knowing about the consequences of unprotected sex. My sister's life was changed forever when she became pregnant the first time she had sex, at age 17. The ensuing years were filled by the state trying to track the father down to reimburse them for her expense (she went on welfare). He moved from place to place, worked just long enough until they caught wind of him again, then quit and on to the new place, or stayed longer when work was paid in cash under the table.
So that part was never a problem. But when he was 16 I sat him down, and we talked. I told him I didn't know when he would be ready for sex, that is was a highly personal decision for each individual to make. But that I wanted him to be ready when that happened. I gave him a box of condoms. My son never used them. He didn't have sex for another three years, and bought a new box. I know this because he told me, as he tells me a lot of things because we have a close relationship where we can talk about those types of things. Sometimes I think he tells me way more than I want to know!
Sherry