Those with children, do you want your children to be sexually active? (page 2)

JustMeNC

i remember the 'Young People Ask' Book and how this was sin, this was wrong e.t.c
It damaged me for a while, and it took me over a year to get rid of some of the stuff i was told, even if i didn't believe it i still had it in my head

I have been out of the JW's for about 15yrs and some things to this day still won't go away! About my children having sex. I don't want them to until they are ready. I am not trying to hound over them or threaten then. I do want them to have a teenage life, one they can look back on and say wow, I remember when.... all I can say when I look back is wow, I remember being to scared to .......

SixofNine

I came across something my daughter wrote when she was 11 or 12, a humorous essay wherein she said that if she hadn't had sex by the time she was 40, she was going to hire a hooker.

joelbear

my position is the same as it has always been, children should not have sex until they are 25

delilah

When my daughter came to my husband and I at 15, she had been dating her then boyfriend, (and first) for a year. She asked us if she could go on the pill.....I was stunned, to say the least, partly because I didn't want to think of my little girl having a sexual relationship, but also because she was brave, and smart enough to know that she had to take responsiblility, and that she had come to us, her parents, for permission. I found I was kind of between a rock and a hard place, as I didn't want to condone what she was going to do, but also I knew it was a wise thing for her to do. We said yes. And I never regretted it. We now have a 13 year old, (soon 14) and although he has had many "girlfriends", I know one day, it will become more serious, and that scares me. He told his father that while at the theater, the one girl took his hand and placed it on her breast....I can't really say that I was surprised! There was a 13 year old boy in our town, charged with indecent assault on another 13 year girl, last summer, and I sure don't want my boy to have charges laid against him. So we've talked to him, and told him he has to respect the girl, and we've warned him that he sure does not want to become a father at a young age and be tied down, so he'd better be protected WHEN he is more mature. All our children know that we'd prefer they wait until they are at least 18, but in reality, that just ain't gonna happen. We just have to train them right, keep the lines of communication open, and hope they will be responsible. Gawd help us all..... now I know how my parents felt raising teens....AAUUGGHH....

Seeking Knowledge

My daughter waited until she was 16 and informed me of her decision. As long as she's been able to understand we've talked about it, the possibilities, and why I thought she should wait until she's older. Of course, that didn't happen, but now that we are over that hump (no pun intended), she is more aware than ever of the responsibility. They are taking precautions and as much as I don't like it, at least they are thinking in the right direction. She knows I'm against it, and she knows she better never bring that into my house, but she knows I'm here for her. She's a smart kid, doesn't drink or do drugs, always in by curfew etc. She's brave as well, and it could be worse... I suppose, but I'm always worried about that one time. I did cry when she first told me, hard to think about that beautiful little girl with the curls trying to handle adult issues, but all I can do is be there for her & educate her as much as I can!

On the other hand, the boys father is allowing them to "get together" at his place which I don't agree with. Why make it easy? Is that the difference between having a boy & a girl? I've told her of my concerns and what I don't agree with, but hey, she's gonna do it anyway. At least she's got a better relationship with me as her mother than I ever did with my mother at that age.

So to answer the question....No I don't want her to be sexually active, but short of locking her in her room & going out with her all the time, not much I can do about it now!

SK

LDH

The truth is, children as we know them are sexually active in their young teens the world over. Although I don't recommend it, the human body is physically ready to begin sexual activity at PUBERTY. This is what happens with the majority of the world's children.

The concept of childhood did not really happen as we know it, until the industrialized nations began having children and disposable income at the same time. Therefore, the children did not have to work the fields or in the factory to help support the family. And, we are not just talking about the children of the elite, but the children of the rising middle class. Now, we understand that our children in the first-world countries have OPPORTUNITIES that their grandparents did not. (My own grandmothers were married at 14!!!)

This is why the thought of teen sex disturbs most of us. We realize our children may be throwing away opportunities that were not open to most of us. We don't want to see our children making emotional committments which will change as they age, and forsaking opportunities to do something AMAZING.

For my own teen, the secret has been keeping her busy with music, while pointing out the drama that high school relationships frequently carry. At (almost 16) she has made the decision that she does not want a boyfriend in high school, because it's too much trouble (her words). She wants to avoid drama. All of her best friends are boys because of her chosen specialty (percussion, 15 boys on the team, 1 girl). She has known most of them for more than 5 years, they are like brothers.

My only suggestion is to present the opportunities for your child. Sex is an opportunity, but there are a lot of other opportunities that you can choose instead.

Lisa

serendipity

I've told my daughter that it's best to wait until marriage. I've also told her that I understand the interest in having sex, but people shouldn't have sex unless they can afford to raise a child.

AuldSoul

Those with children, do you want your children to be sexually active?

How else will we get grandchildren?

stillajwexelder

well they are too young but when they get beyond 17 yes

free2beme

You know, until modern times, sexual activety and marriage was happening at age 13-15 for woman and 16-18 for men. Although, marriage was often done young too. Also, anyone who thinks their grandparents were not active when they were younger, before marriage, is just not having an honest discussion with their grandparents.

Those with children, do you want your children to be sexually active?

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