How do you choose......

by EC 33 Replies latest jw friends

  • EC
    EC

    I just wanted to thank all of you so much for your replys. It brings tears to my eyes to think in just a few posts I have been helped more than in the organization my whole life! Amazing! I have alot to say, but I have to leave to go get the kids. I will be back later this evening and look forward to replying.....Thank you.

  • poppers
    poppers

    When you look into your children's eyes, see the innocence streaming forth - that innocence is the reflection of your true nature. You will recognize that innocence because it is not other than what you are in actuality, though you may have forgotten this. See yourself and all else with that same innocence - your children's eyes are the mirrors which reflect back to you what you really are. There is the peace you seek, there is the grace which is sought - you are it! This can only be seen right now. There is nothing to choose, nothing to follow, nothing to invest belief in, no past to feel guilty about, no future to be anxious about - there is just the open innocent awareness of what you really are right this very moment, and the manifested universe playing out on the "canvas" of that awareness.

    poppers

  • greendawn
    greendawn

    Welcome to the forum EC, it will take some time for the dust to settle after abandoning the WTS, but there are out there some sincere religions that you can check out since you want to have a spiritual life. Only be careful not to get involved with another destructive, manipulative cult like the JWs. Others just keep their distance from any religion and just associate with others of a similar spiritual mentality.

  • Es
    Es

    welcome the the board.

    Take one day at a time, it takes a while to get out what your feeling.

    We are here to help

    es

  • EC
    EC

    Never in my wildest dreams would I have seen myself reading and especially posting at a site like this.....but I am glad I did. I have not been to the meetings in a while, but I did go to the circuit assembly. It just confirmed my thoughts. I have lived my whole life wondering why I wasn't good enough, why I would always have the best of intentions but it never seemed I was doing enough.....It was an awful feeling, especially as a child. I never could understand why so many people would have to die so terribly and how I would have to walk around after it was over and possibly see dead bodies everywhere, even of my friends at school and my unbelieving grandparents. And then picturing the "wild beasts" eating them. What an awful thing for a child to think about!.......They would be so pompous and then it would make me so angry to see witnesses living double lives and abusing alcohol (you know, abusing alcohol is an unspoken sin) Can't they see that they control people's lives so tight and have them so wound up that when they do give an "own discretion" rule for alcohol, EVERYONE abuses it, because it's actually something they feel like they can't control. So we end up having congregations of alcoholics! Crazy!!......... And even as a child I always wondered why we would think we could have the privilege to speak directly to Almighty God and just throw Jesus’ name in at the end??? I don't know if that sounds silly, but, here God sent his only son down to die a horrific death for ALL OF MANKIND and to be a mediator between us and Him and we just kind of ignore that and read a nice little book about Jesus. Is this crazy to you?? I have so many feelings. I have always felt deep and just could not understand why they were not loving. Don't get me wrong, some brothers and sisters are sincere, but, let's face it, with all the restrictions and requirements, who has the time to actually "care" about your fellow man?? A lot of the elders sure don't and the one's that do, the stress on their poor faces is pitiful. Some carry around the sadness looks......My entire family is still in and they consider me spiritually weak. My mom tried to talk to me and I just said that I didn't feel like I could talk to her because she might feel like she would have to come forth with something. She said, "Oh, I see honey, you and (my husband) have done something immoral?" I am like What!!??? "No, mom! We are the most moral people we know and all that we want is to be happy and raise our children to be the same." She totally didn't get it. She said her and my dad would love to sit down with us because we used to "have such a love for the organization." Man, once you take a step back you realize how completely ridiculous you sound. So sad.... I appreciate all the comments. They will all give me something to ponder. I hope that I will be able to make peace with this. It is a scary thing, because I will lose all of my family.....Why does it have to be this unfair?? At least me and my husband are on the same wave link. And I also am glad that my children are still young. I look forward to having chats with each one of you and I appreciate your time.

  • AlmostAtheist
    AlmostAtheist
    Man, once you take a step back you realize how completely ridiculous you sound.

    LOL! Ain't that the truth!

    Dave

  • anewme
    anewme

    EC, welcome to the forum. You sound like you will be a
    "from the heart" contributor!

    Anewme

  • TopHat
    TopHat

    Welcome EC....thanks for sharing your story with us...and I hope to be reading more of your post on this forum.

  • MsMcDucket
    MsMcDucket

    Well if you can start believing that the governing body are men who are psychotics with delusions of grandeur, you're on your way!

  • serendipity
    serendipity

    hi EC, welcome to the forum! I hope you find peace.

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