Just want to gain insight on the overall attitude of most on here.

stillAwitness

I am on here a lot. Leafing through posts, taking the time out to read individuals' profiles, their topics. I like to gain insight, get perspective on what it is like to be "on the other side" I guess you can say.

Yet, a lot of times, many people that are on here are I dunno, they sound bitter, still seem to hold a lot of resentment towards the WT. I mean, I guess its understandable. We can say being a witness was like being the children of the society I guess its safe to say.The Society was like our parents. And our parents lied to us, mistreated us, abandoned us; like a parent on crack would do her own child.

Is that what most people can say they feel like?

willyloman

Okay, I'll start. I feel like this:

Free at last, free at last!

stillAwitness

Not bitter? resentful? ever feel like ya wanna talk to a shrink?

AlmostAtheist

I don't know, Stilla. Some days I feel bitter. The Watchtower stole my youth, and a chunk of my adult life. They attempted to cripple my career and future, and it's only through some luck that they managed to not pull it off. They're keeping me and my in-law's apart.

Taking it out of selfish mode for a minute, they bear the blood of so many people that died over their idiotic and ill-supported death-doctrines like transplant bans, vaccination bans, and blood bans.

How many have been driven to suicide when they were DF'd?

How many have been depressed and decided to commit suicide (or worse, homicide) because they *knew* the resurrection hope was there?

How many little-old-ladies entire lifetime's donations went to pay for the recent attack on the Quotes site?

And let's not even talk about the pedophile thing!

I guess I'm more angry with them, than bitter. They are so damned arrogant. Arrogance pisses me off to start with, and that's even when it's almost legitimate. They don't know their behinds from elbows, but they dare to be arrogant?

I think I'd better not think about this any more. :-)

Dave

bikerchic

stillA first of all welcome!

For me I'm not bitter, I was and I damn well should have been. I got real angry when I discovered the B'org was nothing but a lie. I found this place a year or so later and really had to purge all those feelings for myself. It's the natural healing cycle, it has to be done, it must be done for you to truly be able to put it behind you and move on.

Just like everything else in life it hits people differently and their "healing" is different, not bad, nothing to be condemed it just is. It's really good to get it out and it's awesome that JWD is here a safe place to do it and with people who will support you during your struggle.

I've posted this before and I'll do it again because I think it's helpful: You can insert Recovery from a Cult instead of Dysfunctional Family Systems, it's pretty much all the same anyway.

Typical Stages of Recovery For Dysfunctional Family Systems

Phase 1 Status quo

Familiar This is where we start. Dysfunctional

Certain but simi-comfortable with our controls.

Control Not really aware of what we do to ourselves

or those around us.

Phase 2 Awareness

Information Typically reading all kinds of self-help

Education and psychology books. Trying to get

Health better by thinking ourselves better.

(but finding it doesn't work for long)

Phase 3 Chaos

Outbursts Most people when they get here want to

Hysterics jump back to phase 2 because this phase

Panic is so frightening. For true recovery this

phase has to be gone through. Need some

support especially here.

Phase 4 Practice

New patterns Using healthier ways of handling things but

Uncertain it doesn't feel familiar and is not really

Not familiar comfortable yet.

Phase 5 New Status

Have integrated new ways of coping into our

lives and starting to feel much more comfortable

with it.

Sometimes people can stay stuck in the first 2 phases and not progress much beyond that.

It's usual for people to make a jump back to phase 2 when they start to feel the chaos of phase 3,

depending on the issues, people may do this several times before they can safely allow the chaos

phase to happen.

A person may go through all these phases, all the way through to phase 5, yet they will probably

continue to jump back and forth through the phases throughout their life. Again, it depends on the

issues and the person. Jumping back and forth does not mean that no progress has been made.

Recovery does not happen in a straight line or only in one direction.

AuldSoul

stillA, my wounds are still fresh so I do get bitter at times. I am also frequently overcomeby waves of feeling foolish and ashamed for having been so gullible and stupid. But mostly, I am coldly resolved.

I know there will be no way to stop every organization from ever being able to harm anyone. But I also know it is possible to stop an organization from harming some.

I care more about causing that to happen with the WT than with any other because if it falls my family has a chance to start over on their decision making about religion. Maybe they won't choose a path that leads to cutting off family members for religious differences next time.

I am resolved to free this set of people from this oppression, because the organization continues to harm as long as it exists. Once it no longer exists no one can be loyal to it. The formula seems simple to me.

Respectfully,
AuldSoul

avishai

Unfortunately, I think many of us see justifiable anger as a negative thing, but there are things in this world that SHOULD make you angry, the fact that they likely kill as many people PER MONTH as Jonestown, their policies on child molestation, etc.

Here's a post that sums it up for me far better than I could ever phrase it.

Lady Lee

I think it is hard for some to get past the anger and bitterness. If it was a person who had caused the harm we would have a person to confront. But we have a faceless organization. The WTS insulates the JWs so we have a hard time confronting them. For those who have been shunned by family it can be really hard to even hope for a sit-down-and-talk-it-out session. And if you still have family who talks to you the last thing people want to do is completely alienate them.

Far too many of us are stuck with feelings we don't always know what to do with. Over the years here I have watched as people begin to turn on each other in the forum. It isn't a pretty sight. When the anger builds up sadly people get defensive and start lashing out. I think this is part of what happens when the active JW shows up and tries to defend the WTS. They quickly get buried under the mountains of anger from people on the board.

Therapy could help some. Therapy could be sitting and talking to a counsellor. It could be self help. It could include journaling and reading info about cults.

Anger used in a healthy way can move us towards resolution but left unchecked can wind up alienating others and in the long run hurt us more than we have already been hurt

tetrapod.sapien

wow. some heavy things in this thread.

i used to be bitter, i admit. and i still have anger, some for the wts, sure. but mostly it is slipping away these days into the background. this is good

because, you know, i have my own problems anyways. i shoud see a shrink too, but i am not quite ready to join another religion yet, you know stilla?

it's really cool to come back to the board here, and see all the newbs going down their own paths, on their own journeys. i am happy for them,

and don't mind at all if they are bitter and angry, or wanna talk about the trinty 24/7, or just happy that they are free now. it's all good.

TS

Golf

Learn to 'extract' the good of bad experiences. As the saying goes, if life has given you a lemon, make lemonade.

Golf

Just want to gain insight on the overall attitude of most on here.

Share this