convention freaky memories

by joelbear 37 Replies latest jw friends

  • joelbear

    sucking on lifesavers to stay awake

    watching families eat meals during the session

    the smell

    having people steal seats you have saved

    oh my god, do witnesses today know that conventions used to last until 9pm YIKES

    being shushed by the hall monitors who we ignored


    being disappointed with every new release except My Book of Bible Stories which was pretty cool

    being squished in the lines at the concession stand

    despising shasta

    finding cute guys to look at a few rows ahead

    trying to make sure the girl i was sitting with didn't notice me looking at the cute guy a few rows ahead

    rejoicing at the end of the final session of the day

    hooking up with friends to go out and eat and party

    i worked for years in the audit dept at the jacksonville fla assemblies, that was fun. i was also an attendant for a few years. worked a concession stand for 3 summers with my congregation

    memories, like the corners of my mind

  • freedomlover

    LOL Joelbear!

    Shasta - cola or lemon-lime?



    Chicken Sandwiches

    making fruit bags

    Lunch Tickets

    the baptism talk for the millionth time...

    I went to assemblies at Yankee stadium my whole life growing up. Bethelites would come and cruise the halls and literally pass out the phone numbers to all the single sisters. They truly thought they were hot shit! I hated Bethelites growing up..........arrogant and pompous...But yeah, sitting in the 90-100 degree heat under an umbrella in the freshly urinated seats from the baseball game the week before, or the opposite - sitting under a tarp having a down pour of rain soaking you through while you're supposed to be looking up scriptures!! INSANITY!

    funny memories. thanks for the stroll down memory lane.............

  • joelbear

    oh yeah, i forgot tarps. it was like camping out with 60,000 of your closest, well, 60,000 other people who were using their vacation to sit under a tarp.

  • stillAwitness

    Conventions used to be outiside?????

    ok what about:

    -having to "remain standing" during the annoucements and account report: You handle the deficit Brooklyn!

    -Being addressed only as "Brothers" and not "Brothers and Sisters" (How rude!)

    -Trying to locate your friends amongst all "one-thousand two hundred and fifteen of us today!" Applause)

    -Getting in trouble by your folks for getting back to your seat late

    -Seeing the little 6 year old getting baptized who can't even spell Jehovah.

    -Seeing the 60 year old getting baptized who forgot how to spell Jehovah

    -Having your parents hit you on the arm when you fall asleep

    -Having your parents hit there head on your arm when they fall asleep

    -Having to applause after every little thing the speaker says:

    "We have the truth brothers, do we not!?" Applause

    "Satan's system will go down, are we sure of this brothers?!" Applause

    "You're like some damn puppets, you pitiful spineless twits!" Applause

  • stillAwitness

    Oh! And there goes Bro.SleepALot after the noon-break taking a anp. But he'll be sure to be up before the Keynote Address. After all, there will be a special talk directed to wives and their role of submission. Can't miss that!

  • sir82

    At one convention when I was a teen (mid-70's), they had hamburgers for sale at lunchtime.

    They cooked up the burgers, put them in buns, then wrapped them in aluminum foil. Then they put a couple hundred of these things in a big styrofoam chest.

    By the time you got to the bottom layer of burgers in the chest, the last couple dozen were literally submerged in all the grease that had seeped out of the ones above them.

    But, as I recall, people still requested burgers, and we just plucked them out, dried them off, and handed them over.

    There were no burgers the following year.

  • Lilycurly

    The hard as rock seats

    The fact that I had to give up two or three perfectly good free days.

    Obsessing over how I was going to make up the two hours of door-to-door I usually did on Saturday morning.

    When I got old enough to realise that the dramas where actually not as good as I remembered as a kid. (Fake voices and amplified gestures and silly comparison to Bible characters, "nicely dressed" 50's like families, desperate laughter from audience at lame attempt to jokes.)

    The prayers that wouldn't end, when all you want is going home, each word is more frustrating then the last.

    Pretending to take notes but really drawing stuff (and trying real hard to hide it from the people sitting behind)

    Looking at the publicity banners around the stadium in an attempt to keep self sane

    Staring at those huge alarm clock things that they use in baseball matches, and see the minutes sloooowly ticking away.

    Counting the tiles (or stains) on the roof

    Singing songs in my head (not kingdom!)

    Sitting on same hard chairs to try and eat lunch, dad having the advantage of using his big suitcase as a plateau

    Looking at very fat families bringing cushions to sit on while eating McDonald's take-out

    My baby brothers having to sleep on the ciment ground (with blankets of course) and being waken up at every clapping.

    Me being smug as I catch my dad fall asleep after dinner

    Being so bored that can be entertained by looking at various potted plants around the stage

    The list is so long....

  • james_woods

    Getting dressed up in a phony beard and weird bible times clothes to do one of those stupid recorded pantomime dramas. (Can't have a real beard, though-)

    Working for about 6 weeks to make a huge fiberglass heart and brain with flashing lights in each to illustrate the thinking heart and brain. Got busted for throwing a phillips head scewdriver circus knifethrower style into the heard before the session and then they wouldnt let me work the light switches during the part. After all that work...

    Sitting with a couple of teenage girls who pretended to take notes in old-time secretary shorthand. They were really gossiping to each other about boys, of course. They didn't know I could read it because I took it in high school to get ready for college class notes.

    Sitting through a long preconvention attendant meeting on how to handle it if a STREAKER should invade us. Blabbering constantly with other attendant jerks on our all-important walkie talkies.

    Walking into my VERY LAST JW meeting EVER on a Saturday morning in the basement of the Civic Auditorium in Oklahoma City, smelling those hamburgers frying, and just turning around and getting in my Corvette and burning out back on to the street. The speaker was - believe me or not - bitching about APOSTATES!

  • RunningMan

    Pretending there is a hockey game in the arena instead of an assembly.

    Imagining the speaker transformed into a nicely browned turkey, just before the lunch break.

    Researching the Bible and making notes for "The Atheists Book of Bible Stories" during the sessions - it looked just like rapt attention and note taking.

    And, Jehogies for lunch - that's a hoagie that is so big that it has no beginning and no end.

  • mrsjones5

    Going to the Oakland Colliseum for the summer assemblies in the 70's

    sitting in the bleachers on pillows, stadium seats, and blankets

    all the umbrellas

    chocolate malts

    dad's favorite: pastrami sandwiches

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