How can anyone understand?

by justsomedude 25 Replies latest jw friends

  • Van Gogh
    Van Gogh

    Welcome justsomedude, and thanks everybody for making some wonderful and comforting comments.
    Dude, you will find plenty of understanding on this board. Most of us were in the same boat. That's why we come here.
    I myself, for one, can truly identify with you - I was in your shoes at your age but for some reason came back only to leave a couple of months ago. That's why I still find myself about 10 years behind in my development.
    I remember at 19 years old and in the troof, feeling that everything was too late already. BUT IT IS NOT! The older I got, the more I found that to be a temporary delusion. At your age I went to university and later got my Master's. Man, the world is your oyster!
    Your delay might just as well be seen as a head start compared to others. You are special in your very own way and have acquired the kind of wisdom and insight into life that your peers do not yet have. THAT is why you think people cannot understand you. Also, remember, at your age, many (ex)jdubs are already bogged down in some unhappy teenage marriage - sometimes even with kids.
    I was depressed for years - most of my early life probably. But I have found depression to be a self-sustaining downward spiral if left to continue unchecked. Depression and its cause (it has, of course, a serious cause) can delude you and cloud your thinking - and will eventually stall you. What has happened can never be undone. Thinking about it won't bring you a solution - the "riddle" in your head cannot be solved or sometimes even truly analyzed." But it doesn't have to be. Focusing on positive activity will break the spell of the darkness.
    YOU ARE FREE NOW - you have learnt its meaning. Just think of the freedom you have now to bond with the world and the people in it - to feel at one with the cosmos, to truly love and accept its members, to be at peace with them without having to judge in order to "understand" and "stake out." Only then, when you truly reflect to what others have to say and do, listen to them, will you "connect." THEN, they will understand somehow, whether you give details or not. A factual account will not transfer a message about your experiences and your feelings - but dig deep down in your heartfelt emotion with few words, and others will understan and "know."
    Mere words can never truly convey what transpired, and in all honesty - our innermost "self" is only seldom in its entirety grasped by another - it is OK, and we can do with slightly less.
    A couple of weeks ago, for the first time, I freely admitted something to some guy I, of course, trusted enough to somehow understand, someone who, IMO, deserved to for once get an honest answer about this mysterious unfathomable "thing" about me. I simply explained to him a few things about my upbringing and said: "I was raised in a cult." Things seemed to make sense to him more than any excuse I'd ever given him before. AND IT FELT GREAT!
    We love you Dude! Keep coming back.
    Theo

  • LittleToe
    LittleToe

    We can totally empatthise. It's hard starting your life in your thirties!

    It get's better - be kind to yourself!

  • icare4u
    icare4u

    I didnt lose my virginity until 23 and have had sex a handfull of times in the last seven years because I was concerned about some invisible old man in the sky who cared where I put my cock.

    You should be concerned about that. The old man in the sky (Jehovah) does care for u and is interested in your well being. That is why He has given us guidelines to follow, for our own BENEFIT. He made you and has the RIGHT to tell you what to do. Sex is a wonderful thing however only within the boundries God has set it. Is it too much to ask for obedience to your Creator?

  • icare4u
    icare4u

    Little toe says be kind to yourself. I recall peter saying that to Jesus once and he replied "Get behind me Satan, you think the thoughts of men, not the thoughts of God." Im suprised for someone who claims to be an anointed Christian you didnt offer him Spritual guidance. Jehovahs Witness do not say no sex outside of the marraige Arrangement, the Bible does!

  • AuldSoul
    AuldSoul
    Is it too much to ask for obedience to your Creator?

    icare4u, please explain what Solomon's 1,000 wives did on their off nights. In detail. Or are we to believe Solomon managed to keep them contented...highly unlikely.

    Your organization's perception of what the Creator asks is more than the Creator asks. Your organization would even step into my marriage bed an instruct my wife and I on the appropriateness of various delights. Your organization is a Victorian prude that steals true joy from every life it touches. To the degree that it touches a life, that life is robbed of joy and the person whose life it is learns to pretend joy instead.

    icare4u, I noticed that your first post and a total of 7 of your 16 posts were to the thread "Has DefD left the forum." Several had winks beside inferences that he won't be back. And twice you posted his name as "Def D" which was his nickname in real life. Whether or not you are Def D, I ask you to consider carefully: has the organization born the fruit of the spirit in your life. Does your joy come in any part from the organization or following what it says?

    If not, you must admit that the organization does not help produce the fruit of God's spirit in your life. Look around. You obviously aren't alone. What you call obedience to your Creator is actually obedience to an organization that stands in the Creator's place. "Do not put your trust in nobles, nor in the son of earthling man," find out for yourself what you should do and allow others the same free will that your Creator does.

    Be careful what you bind up as a load for others. Just a friendly caution, not a directive. Everything you push on others increases the weight of your own judgment.

    AuldSoul

  • rebel8
    rebel8

    As far as counselors go, I don't believe it's absolutely necessary for them to be a cult expert to comprehend your feelings and to help. There are lots of folks who live very sheltered or dysfunctional lives and get help while they make major life transformations. Those are things therapists deal with all the time.

  • wombat
    wombat

    Justsomedude.........

    Mate, I'd just get a back-pack, put in a change of clothes, and head off for an indefinite period.

    South-East Asia is fun. It's cheap. Heaps of other folk like you from all over the world that you will bump into. Some of them are very pretty.

    It would give you a whole new perspective on this incredible world we live in. It will give you an empathy towards other that the WTS never teaches. It will make you appreciate what a wonderful life you have at home. You will never complain about your circumstances again. (Stay off the tourist routes - don't be a tourist, be a traveller).

    Get a business card with you photo and contact addresses. Give them to everyone and you will never be lonely again for years.

    Mate, after 6 -12 months of gastritis, fascinating people, sleeping in scary places, viewing incredible things you will eventually come home full of awe and appreciation with many life-long friends in distant lands.

    Then one day it will occur to you..."Gee...that WTBTS is really effen stupid".

    Promise.

  • LittleToe
    LittleToe

    Derrick:You know neither the scriptures nor their authority. You are quoting both me and my Brother out of context.

    As Auldsoul has already commented on, you are attempting to bind loads, and to the extent that you judge you shall be judged!

  • wombat
    wombat

    LittleToe.....Who the hell is Derrick? How the hell can we follow a thread if you don't let us in on your secrets? I can't see "Derrick" mentioned anywhere. Maybe I missed something in which case I apologise. Otherwise go PM if it is secret talk.

  • prophecor
    prophecor
    LittleToe.....Who the hell is Derrick? How the hell can we follow a thread if you don't let us in on your secrets? I can't see "Derrick" mentioned anywhere. Maybe I missed something in which case I apologise. Otherwise go PM if it is secret talk.

    All will be made clear, Wombat, once you follow the History of a JW apologist once named d'efd (sp) Some here have a habit of surfacing, having thier way with the community here, only to leave and somewhere down the road, show up as the resurrected voice of Ghost gone by. They stir up the rest of the unaware with thier rhetoric, and try to sow further seeds of doubt even among us. This time, with a different stage name, a new account, and the hope of a different voice. Some of us, unfortunately for them, are good at sniffing out Rats. We Need A Spirit, D'efd, or who ever you are posing as, this time, Not A Ghost!!! There are those who come in fresh from the walls of the Hall who are truly hurting from the lives that were lived in the fish bowl. To thier credit, double agents try to send other unsuspecting souls, back to the slavery they're trying to leave from. You'll see forms of it played out, again and again as you spend more time here.

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