Hi- New here.

by sassafras 29 Replies latest jw friends

  • sassafras

    Hello, I've been lurking around for a few months now, finally registered a few weeks ago, and figured it was finally time to post. First of all, let me give you a little background so you know where I'm coming from. I'm 24, married to my soulmate, and mother to a 2 year old boy. DH was a JW his entire life. His mom came into "the truth" when she was pregnant with him. His dad is not a dub, but will go to memorial, doesn't celebrate holidays, etc etc. MIL has FIL by the balls, but thank God he stood up for one thing in his life- he refused to let my DH and his siblings to get baptized until they were 18 and could make the decision for themselves. (And none of them did- big suprise!!!) The reason I'm here is to help my husband. He doesn't go to meetings or anything like that, but he is so incredibly brainwashed by the dubs and he doesn't even know it. He slept through all the meetings his whole life and only caught bits and pieces of their doctrine. All he knows is that whatever the JWs say is right! I know he knows deep down that there are some big-time problems, but he is so guilt ridden about having any doubts. We'll be having a conversation, and he'll say one bad thing about them, but then he'll make up for it and say, "well, I mean, look at the Catholic church though...." blah blah blah, typical JW bulls**t, side step the issues. I have studied off and on for a few years to appease the Beast known as MIL. (Never again though- knowing what I know now!!) It is terrifying what a slippery slope they lead you down. I know all about the love bombing and the tricky logic firsthand, so I don't blame poor hubby for being misled. I just want to help him find his way out for good. I just want to thank all of you guys for your knowledge and willingness to share it. I have learned so much already and am looking forward to learning more. Also, looking forward to getting to know you all better. Thanks. PS- Hope I posted this in the right place!

  • sassafras

    Whoa, sorry about that. I didn't realize I needed to do the html thing. I do know how to make paragraphs.

    See?? :)

  • wanderlustguy


    If you haven't done it already, hit the "best of" section...


  • TopHat

    Welcome sassafras

  • Ellie

    Hi, hope you are enjoying the festive season, welcome!

  • lonelysheep

    Welcome sassafras! You're in the right spot.

  • jgnat

    Well, a good starter topic might be the blood doctrine. You must know his thoughts on this, because it could mean life-or-death for your family. Ask him if he is ready to study this topic, just the two of you. I suggest you do your homework first. Also, clearly separate doctrinal reasons from the medical.

    Deal with the doctrinal first. Lots of children of JW's have irrational fear of blood transfusions. Avoid this to start by determining if there is a genuine bible command to avoid them.

    Afterwards, check out each claim on the dangers of blood transfusions. There is plenty of documented evidence that the Watchtower society deliberately supplied misinformation on the dangers of blood transfusions, while providing false assurances of the availability and safety of alternatives.

  • dedpoet

    Hi sassafras, and welcome

    You have come to the right place to learn

  • cheezy

    Welcome to sanity, sassafras!

    You are embarking on an important mission - you, and I presume your DH, are young and that is in your favor. But the mental state of your DH can be very destructive to his well-being over a period of time.

    Constant guilt, which is what the WTS fosters, can lead to severe problems as the years drag by. I have seen this personally and I have always felt that people in the category you describe (they believe, even though they aren't actively engaged, and they can't really explain or defend their faith because they don't understand it) are in a special sort of hell.

    Stay the course - help your DH escape!

  • drew sagan
    drew sagan

    Many of us have felt the same guilt your husband has for having doubts about "god’s organization". One question plagues all who being to question the Watchtower:


    Many of us have struggled for days, months, years, even decades with this question

    I feel that the best way to start answering these questions is by reading Raymond Franz’s books. As a former member of the governing body his insight into the organization as well as Christianity itself is very insightful. The book "In Search of Christian Freedom" will help you reason with him better than anything we can put on this message board.

    Of course getting him to read the books would be the best possible outcome. If he feels afraid to do so, you might want to read them yourself and go from there.

    I'm sure I’m not alone when I say we all wish you the best in your efforts.

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