i am new

by lunarlara 50 Replies latest jw experiences

  • lunarlara
    lunarlara

    i have been studying with the jw for just over 3 years.i have always believed in god and the bible. the path my life took ended up with me being a single parent of 4 children.

    the jws led me down the path of the "truth". my grandmother disowned me and i just couldnt understand why.i was told that satan was lurking round every corner trying to get me away from god. i just wanted god to be happy with me. i started to feel uncomfortable with what i was being taught but thought that if i studied more i would understand it eventually.

    we stopped celebrating christmas birthdays etc.then i decided after alot of rumours got to me to just look at the internet. after all if this was the "truth" what harm could it do .i was quite shocked at what i found and after much thought i decided to cancel my studies.so i could think what to do next.

    im glad to have had my eyes opened as to what damage this religion can cause.i am quite sad also that i hadnt discovered the "true" religion.but also relieved that this was not IT.

    now i am in a dilemma. i dont want them to come here anymore but i am afraid that when i tell them i do not wish to continue they will try to change my mind. i am confident that i wont be swayed but i just dont want the upset. i had made some friends although im not sure if they will be allowed to speak to me after and also if they shun me im not sure how i will be able to deal with it . any advice would be great. and although we have celebrated xmas this year i am feeling guilty that i deprived my children of this for 3 years but i am trying to make up for it and i hope that they will forgive me.

    on the positive side my mum is so glad i discovered for myself what she tried to tell me in the beginning .and at least she isnt doing the i told you so bit.

    please advise me on the best course of action . best wishes to all x

  • Golf
    Golf

    Welcome and enjoy your stay. Hmmmmmmm, single parent you say with 4 kids, wow! You'll get plenty of ideas from this forum, so just hang loose.

    Anyone showing up and asking questions, just tell them that you have personal business to sort out and you need time to take care of it, thanks for asking.

    I'll let others throw in their two cents. Take good care.

    Golf

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    In your case - just drop out of site. You're not baptized I take it? When they come around asking just state that you have determined that this organization is not for you. Nothing more. It is none of thier business anyway.

    Most likely they will still speak with you if u meet in public - but soon enough you will have nothing in common with them, and as you move on with life they will too. I doubt they will shun you in this case. And as you make a new life away from the Wt you will soon not care anyway.

    May God bless you. And welcome to the forum.

    Jeff

  • gumby
    gumby

    Welcome

    You sound a bit like me..........afraid to upset your friends so you give in to their wishes too much.

    DO NOT join this cult! As golf mentioned, you will learn much here regarding this religion and also get advise with your particular situation. Raising 4 kids to become Jehovahs Witnesses is one of the worst things you can do to your kids.......trust me.

    Gumby

  • ozziepost
    ozziepost
    Raising 4 kids to become Jehovahs Witnesses is one of the worst things you can do to your kids.......trust me.

    Amen to that!

    I was 'in' for nearly 50 years, most of it as an elder, and I've gotta say, the step you take now could be irreversible....once in, there's no going back. It's horrible inside, believe me. Don't do it.

  • Goldminer
    Goldminer

    Hi and welcome to the forum! I wish I could have had the internet when I was studying.I definitely would not have gotten baptized in this religion.You made the right decision.

    I wouldn't worry about being shunned in your situation.Since you're not baptized,if someone talks to you they can use you for field service time and they'll believe there's always hope you'll start your study again.As for the friends you made,very few are genuine,most are conditional.When they come back tell them you no longer wish to study.When they ask why say it is because of personal reasons and don't elaborate.

    Goldminer

  • AlmostAtheist
    AlmostAtheist

    Congrats on learning the real truth before baptism! You are a rare individual indeed!

    >> we have celebrated xmas this year i am feeling guilty that i deprived my children of this for 3 years

    Our 7 year old son celebrated his first xmas just last year. Yeah, I know the guilt you're talking about. But he got over it quick, and yours will too.

    As for the other JW's in your life, don't let them get to you. As mentioned, be firm. They'll leave you alone soon enough, but the shunning very well may come. Sorry, but that's how they're conditioned.

    Give yourself a little time to decide how to proceed. And give others time to answer your post, you'll get some great advice I'm sure. (May take a couple of days though, busy weekend!)

    Welcome to the forum!

  • greendawn
    greendawn

    Welcome to the forum Lunarlara.

    As you are not a baptised JW you can just walk away, and you are doing the right thing to leave. This is a dangerous cult and it's your life you must care about, to avoid a lot of serious problems in the future you need to disappoint them by saying no to them.

  • mouthy
    mouthy

    I would suggest you tell them upfront!!!" I will not be studying anymore."Yes you WILL lose all the JW "friends" because thay must love you conditionally.. But thank GOD( the one who created all life) you have a MUM that is happy you have regained your independent thinking.... If you are baptized- well you MUST be shunned ( as I am by my daughter) Because I dont believe Jesus came invisably in 1914. If your NOT baptised Hoorah for you
    Welcome to the board I am 78 yrs old was a JW for 25 years made 10 people JWS & I am so sorry I did

  • luna2
    luna2

    Welcome to the board!

    I remember when I halted my study back about 20 years ago. I stopped it because I thought I needed the break while dealing with a failing marriage. I wish I had understood the truth about "the Truth" back then as it would have helped me deal more firmly with my new "friends" when they came around again.

    You have to watch out for yourself and your children. If it means bluntly telling them to get lost and not bother you any more, do it. You have no obligation to this cult. Better to lose any new acquaintances now than to allow them to waste any more of your time.

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