I was so stupid that I thought that unless I had the guts to confront somebody face to face, I had no business ratting them out to the elders in secret.
JW's 'tattling' on each other - an ugly culture.
Our CO suggested that each sheparding call made in his circiut contain a discussion of
Do NOt Share in the Sins of others --article-
i kept it in my bag for each sheparding visit and it does work- folks turned in each other all the time
typically a few days later you would get a call
The girl I had been best friends since we were little girls tattled to her elder father when she saw me coming out of my boyfriend's house one day back when I was 17. But I guess that was the best thing to ever happen to me because the way I was treated during those damn "judicial meetings" finally gave me the courage to listen to my heart. So hello "apostate sites" Boy, I started clicking away after that!
Me and this girl were like sisters. We even shared our first kiss-with each other!
I never, ever tell my buisness to anyone and all those that know my buisness- I know theirs too.
The best thing to do is just choose to not have any "friends" in the hall.
I had several 'friends' rat me out. Ironically it turned out worse for them in the end then me. One fool told on me and then when I told him how the elders wanted to talk to me about the situation, he feigned surprise and ignorance to the whole situation. to top that one off the elders initially lied as to the source. At first they said it was from someone in another congo and it wasn't. That was the straw that broke me free...that and I wanted to kill him.
They are jealous. You are doing something they are not allowed to do so and they don't think you should be allowed to either.
They are self righteous. They feel they are better than you and rightly you should be put in your place.
They are prideful. They wish to be seen as righteous for coming forward with information instead of concealing it.
They are afraid. They have been told if they do not come forward they are as good as guilty themselves.
They are controlled. This behavior has been patterned into them from a young age.
Good movie I would recommend: Equilibrium. Excellent ex-jw movie imo, right up there with 1984. Watch it for the themes not the cinematics.
My mother tattled on an elderly relative for sending us cards and gifts near our birthday and XMas. Imagine being an 80 yr old widow and being subjected to a judicial committee.
I never ratted out anyone, but I saw others doing their fair share of it. And, usually, in my congregation, those that were doing the tattling, were, themselves, doing things they shouldn't have been doing. In one case, an elder went on a witch hunt, trying to take down a fellow elder, who was having an affair with a married sister, all the while, HE was carrying on with two married sisters, ALL in the same congregation. The first elder was DF'd after he finally confessed, and the 2nd elder had to step down, for reasons that don't make much sense, but never fully confessed to having any relationship with either of the sisters. In fact, he blamed it all on the sisters.....they chased him. His wife left him for awhile, so she could gather her thoughts, but they're back together, and he's been trying to become an elder once more.
Thankfully I can say that I never ratted on anybody! I prefered not to get into other folk's business. Unfortunately, folks seemed to like trying to rat me out! I lost count of how many times I was turned in for dating worldly girls before I finally married. The trouble was that I never dated outside the organization!
This is another great way for controlling the R&F with fear. It is of course very unchristian to act in this way like a petty traitor. Out of a sense of honour it should never be done.
Tattling is the JW culture. So many people tattled on me - including my mother. My "close friends" growing up tattled on me.
I could NEVER tattle on anyone though - no matter how much i disliked them.
A couple of brothers that I got drunk with (by accident) tattled on me. I was reproved for throwing up; the other two who drove while drunk didn't get publicly reproved like I did. I have NO idea what they told the elders to make ME look like the one at fault. One of the guys was the elder's nephew. MYbe that had something to do with it.
Couldn't trust anyone for the first 21 years of my life.