JW's 'tattling' on each other - an ugly culture.

by Gregor 34 Replies latest jw friends

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  Gregor

  When I was an elder I often was approached by publishers who wanted to report some kind of bad conduct by a brother or sister. This led to all kinds of unpleasant, unloving situations. The first question of the accused was always "Who told you this?" We couldn't tell them. They would be (justifiably) angry. Many times this led to committee meetings and a few times action was taken, not because of the reported infraction, but because of the resulting fallout.

  Anyone ever involved in one of these gestapo deals?
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  atypical

  I am ashamed to say that I ratted on somebody more than once. Each time it was the type of deal where someone else also knew and was going forward, so I was used as the second witness. I regret doing it very much now. It's an interesting setup, though. If I had lied and not admitted what I knew, but the "sinner" confessed, then the elders would have been able to get me for lying. The whole setup encourages paranoia and backstabbing, in my opinion.
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  kls

  Tattling on even spouses as my husband did to me through our kids , then would report their findings to the elders . What became of it ? Nothing because i could give a rats ass what the elders or jws thought of me but the fact that someone you care about and you assume they care about you ,well that hurt the most and still does,

  The practice is disgusting and vile.
• 

  in a new york bethel minute

  it's partly a way to gossip, partly a way for jealous people to spread "truth" about people they don't like, and partly because we were always told that if we didn't rat on them we were sharing in their sins and then punishment.

  i'm glad that i can look back and say that i never ratted on anyone... my mother says that's part of why i lost jehovah's holy spirit but at least i kept my f'n nose clean!
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  Bryan

  This is one of the things that makes me look back, in shame, and realize I was part of a cult. I reported people, for doing what I believe what was bad, just like a good little Nazi child.

  Two of thes e occasions turned into commity meetings. Once I reported my own father for watching porno on his satellite TV. I was afraid that if Armageddon came tomorrow he would die. I was also afraid that if Armageddon came tomorrow I would die because I did not reveal his sin. He of course denied it, even though he was an elder.

  What control the cult had over my mind. And of course, it didn't help an already nonexistent relationship.

  Bryan

  Have You Seen My Mother
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  greendawn

  It was the same in the Holy Inquisition, the accused was never told who had accused him and neither was he allowed legal representation.
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  stillajwexelder

  Yes - sadly nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition -their chief weapon is suprise - very sad but I have been party to incidents such as this
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  Gregor

  One incident involved brother 'A' who was driving and saw brother 'B' go by in the other direction, smoking a cigarette!

  After a couple of judicial meetings and a lot of hard feelings it appeared brother 'B' had been holding a white pen in his mouth. The two, who had been friends before, quit speaking to each other.

  Sometimes it was really dicey. Like if someone saw Sister Smith smooching on Brother Jones, or in one case, Sis. Smith smooching on Sis. Jones. It turned out to be true, but broke up two families and was actually pretty harmless.
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  misspeaches

  What I don't get is why people are tattling on one another. I mean isn't the rule supposed to be that you approach the person first and talk to him. If it is determined that there was still something JW determined sinful then it was meant to be brought to the elders.

  Question - how many times has an elder had someone come to them tattling and hasn't spoken to the person concerned first? As an elder did you ask them to go speak to the person first or was this step convienientally (SP) overlooked?
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  stillajwexelder

  In other words, they should be applying Matthew 18