Depression, Holidays & JW's

by oldflame 22 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • oldflame


    Hey my friend, you need some counseling. Suicide is no answer Ok ? It does not hurt you only those who love you. Dying is easy but suffering the loss is much harder than the dying. Please if you are serious about committing suicide all the time then please get some help. I would really not want you to do that.


    Oh man, I was in Wal-mart the other day to get some things for my home, I was in there no more than a half an hour and I was ready to hit someone. People arguing over a stupid toy, no one would move so you could get through the isle. They would look at you like you were the stupid one. Man was I pissed. I will not go to wal-mart until after the holidays no matter what I need or how much I will save. Going to safeway paying high prices are way better than to mingle with a bunch of idiots.

  • cyber-sista

    I remember there being a lot of anxiety around X-mas Most JWs went around grumbling during the season--it was what we were trained to do--complain and be negative about the holidays. For me a lot of the anxiety was because I didn't want to have to explain myself to everyone who asks me what I was doing for the holidays, etc. I didn't want to feel guilty if I was in a store and there was X-mas music playing and I was accidently listening to it or if I caught myself looking at the pretty lights on a tree somewhere or I had to think of what to say when someone wished me a merry x-mas, etc. And then I had to try and hate something that I truly didn't feel hatred towards.

    This year was my first year to celebrate X-mas since leaving the JWs. I was not raised as a JW, so it was easy for me to remember how to do it. I decidied to go all the way with it and decorated a tree, made some other ornaments and just had some fun with it. I bought a bunch little gifts and wrapped them up in pretty paper. My married daughter is celebrating her first x-mas with a tree and all. She says she feels no religious connection with x-mas now. She isn't celebrating it as christ's b-day as she explained to me--it has no religious meaning to her--if anything she said she is celebrating the commercial aspect of the holiday. to me it is all about the lights and the warmth and the decor and friends and family--it is what you make it. There are no rules to how you chose to celebrate or whether you do or not. I meet non-JWs now who say they really do anything for the holiday season anymore because they just want to keep it simple and try not to stress about it.

    It is about choice. There were so many rules and regulations in the WT Org as how to and how not to do just about eveything in life. It is nice to be make decisions again and not feel trapped with all the guilt and shame and anxiety surrounding the holidays. Maybe shedding this WT induced negativity is the big gift we can give ourselves this year. Happy Holidays!


  • Benjamin Belial
    Benjamin Belial
    Hey my friend, you need some counseling. Suicide is no answer Ok ? It does not hurt you only those who love you. Dying is easy but suffering the loss is much harder than the dying. Please if you are serious about committing suicide all the time then please get some help. I would really not want you to do that.

    Heh. Send me some cash and I'll get a doctor ASAP. Until then I'll go to sleep imagining I have a gun to my head.

  • blondie

    I used to think growing up that my family was unhappy because we didn't celebrate Christmas. Then when I visited my friends and their families and saw that some of the same unhappy things happened in their families and Christmas did not solve their problems, I realized that the goal was to find a balanced life all year long and that Christmas could enhance that. As an adult, spending time around people trying to deal with alcoholic loved ones and sexual abuse by family members, I realized that no holiday could solve those problems. You do learn the real meaning of the word "family" and that it is not grounded in DNA.

    Love Blondie

  • ellderwho

    When I was a young dubby I wished I could be a part of it. I would say merry christmas to people to fit in. We were poor and seeing gift giving was a bit depressing, that with my realizing the jw doctrine was the root of my parents divorce which left us in financial straights was salt to the wound.

    However, Ive been celebrating xmas for about 21 years. I love it. Being a Christian recongnizing/remembering Christ' birth is first for me personally, secondly is getting together with friends and family and neighbors and of course everybody loves getting a gift. I certaintly dont stress, I guess if your that kind of person you'll stress no matter, I look forward to it every season.

    Its strange watching my elder-stepfather in my house at xmas. He was not raised a dub but hes been one for some 40years. So he knows xmas. I just wish my parents could share this family tradition with us. It would be great. Merry xmas ya'll

  • Crumpet

    I feel seriously depressed at Christmas. Never more so than this one. My boyfriend is being horrible to me because he doesnt understand that if I could I would just curl up in a coma until it was all over.

  • Benjamin Belial
    Benjamin Belial

    Be glad someone cares about you. At least you have that. And, if that is you in your avatar, you have your looks. So you have some things going for you.

  • gumby

    For witnesses, they are reminded of families being together today but they cannot join them. Deep inside this makes them sad. They see the christmas cheer....and they cannot share in it. Their children are envious of other kids enjoying christmas too.

    For ex-dubs with family STILL witnesses, you are reminded of the cult you exited and how screwed up your family is. Rather than being with them today.....your reminded your on the outside as far as they are concerned. Yes, I get bummed this time of year and I always have. I have my good moments though BEFORE Christmas and Thanksgiving. It's onChristmas and Thanksgiving DAY I get the worste......when reality sets in.

    Gumby *who's happy to be visiting the guy that statrted this thread today and gets to drink his whisky*


  • ferret

    I was always a little depressed at Christmas as a J.W. ! always loved the music and could not understand why we could not listen to it as it honored our savior on his birthday. Still love

    the carols today and sing along with them.

  • oldflame

    I guess I'm not alone when it comes to being depressed around the holidays. I was not born into the cult and was never baptised, but I still get kinda bummed when the holidays come. Today turned out pretty good though, Gumby came over and we had some good food and good whiskey, watched some good football, lost a buck on the game to Gumby (sucker) but all in all it was a nice day. I just wished I could celebrate with my dub family.

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