Good cop, Bad Cop...JW elder style

by Dune 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • Dune

    Well i'm still a witness so i was out in field service yesterday with this brother. Our conversation hit the usual stuff cars, television, movies. Then he went on to relate how about a month ago, the two head elders (Head as in, the other elders really dont matter)took him into the back room and fryed him.

    You see, this brother has two jobs and he gets payed really well at both of them. Anyway, the one elder was calling him materialistic and that he was worthless. This shocked me because i usually dont believe the stories you guys tell on the board, but this was coming from a friend of mine. Anyway, the one elder then told him "You might as well leave this congregation and go to your riches". This was then backed up by the other elder who read a scripture and put in his mild mannered two cents.

    Anyway, i had to give him the whole "only jehovah knows what you are doing and can judge you" song and dance, and it visibly made him feel better.

    But i just wanted to know, are they really allowed to do that? Have any of you been emotionally and spiritually attacked by an elder? and was there a way to solve it? such as going to a circuit overseer?

  • These3Words

    Hello Dune,

    I to this day still remember when one of the pretentious, pompus and a whole bunch of other names "Elder" came over to my house when I was a kid, and proceeded to tell my Dad that he would not make to paradise if he did not attend the KH on a more regular basis. He also said that our family would not make it either and it was all his fault if we didn't. I rember thinking"who the hell are you to say that". Well as a good whipped sheep my Dad apoligized and promised to attend more frequintly. I lost alot of respect for my Dad that day, he is still a timid little sheep.All I can say is God is watching all of these injustices and is not pleased.1 Peter 3: 8-15 "Everyone must live in harmony, be sympathetic, love each other, have compassion, and be humble"

    My personal relationship with God is just that,PERSONAL!

  • Eyebrow2

    Yeah, that sounds about right. Although, if this guy is working 2 jobs and STILL has time to go out in field service...what is their problem? As long as he is meeting the publisher required average to keep an elder at bay (I think in my congregation it was 10 hours a month) they should mind their own business.

    However, it is easy for those that have "made sacrifices" to live under the JW rules to become a little bitter with those that may earn good money. I don't know if I would call this abuse, really. I would certainly call it rude, and stupid. I don't know if going to the circuit overseer would do anything but aggravate things for the brother involved. BUT if he was really bothered by it that much, sure, why not? I would just be careful though, because the circuit overseer and elders could turn it around, and tell the brother that he is not taking direction from the elders, and is putting material things before service to god...blah blah, blah blah.

    The ultimate solution: leave the religion. (I know, you probably didn't want to hear that hahah). There is NOTHING wrong with working hard and making a lot of money as long as it is honest work. But the elders are the judges in the congregation...after all, they are the ones on the judicial committee are they not?

    Anyway, that is my two cents.

  • Pistoff

    I was a ministerial servant in a congregation in the early 90's; I had a growing family, growing business and did the second school and was a book study conductor, oops overseer.
    Anyway, this was a hall with LOTS of problems. The head three elders were at war with each other over favoritism being shown by one of them toward his abusive son.
    So the CO (are you still GUNG HO, Jack?) comes around and I ask to work with him. He asks me how long I have been in the truth. I tell him, my whole life. He asks me if I am keeping my hours in service down so that I don't get recommended for elder. I laugh and say NO. He says:

    "If you are, you might as well just wash it up right now, you are not going to make it."

    So, moral is: no matter how much you do, you can't do enough.
    BTW, this was the most craven and materialistic CO I have ever met. He lied and schemed like a politician.


  • ozziepost

    Oh yes, believe me, it happems!

    I know of one sister who was taken into the back room and threatened with DF if she didn't stop praying with her DF husband! He'd been DF for adultery and his wife had forgiven him and they were praying about their marriage!!

    (Secretly, they didn't want her to take him back.)


  • AuldSoul

    I'm not sure what going to a circuit oveseer would accomplish, Dune.

    In my case, I have had emotional clubs weilded on me non-stop since discovering the UN/DPI Association. Most recently, my PO and the Circuit Overseer implored with me to consider the potential impact my choices may have on my marriage and on my relationship to my family. They didn't say I was wrong. They didn't say the Society was right. They didn't discuss too deeply the SCRIPTURAL view of the Society's conduct. They focused on what I was not doing, and they focused on trying to fix me. This was in October 2005 and again in November 2005.

    I have since been asked to elders meetings at the hall, because when people ask me why I am not at the Hall I have been telling them the reason. It puts the Society in a bad light. The elders have encouraged me to sidestep the reason. I pointed out that either I will be in a bad light or the Society will, and since I did nothing wrong and the Society did I will be happy to continue letting the Society suffer the consequences for their unrepentant gross wrongdoing.

    Jesus had an illustration about that involving straws and rafters. I have recently shared that with the elders. Most of them were already familiar with it, they just weren't used to having it referred to the Society.

    If the shoe fits...


  • thom

    Most of the time that I was in (my whole life) I thought that these stories were exaggerated, that this stuff didn't really happen. Of course that all changed when I had an elder angry at me, that's when I got to see what can happen.

    This elder moved into my congregation because apparently that was the way he would have access to cause me trouble. He rallied his groups and they went on the attack, I never thought this kind of thing happened, but it sure does.

    I posted the whole thing here if anyone cares to read it:

  • AuldSoul
    ozziepost: (Secretly, they didn't want her to take him back.)

    But the missus decided to stay with you, eh? Shiraz! [*clink*]

    (just kidding)


  • ocsrf


    The bottom line is that JWs can never do enough. There is always some one looking on ready to critize, put down and gossip. It has been said on the board that the elders are the biggest gossips and they are right. They talk all the time about others and most of this talk is not in the context of concerned elders at a meeting, this represents recreation for them. They talk about other elders who are not in their company at that moment, they talk about brothers who are doing great financially and working long hours. As long as your friend takes their "sayings"l to heart like Jehovah himself said it, it will continue to effect him and eat away at his self-esteem, once he realizes it is just small men with little minds and lousy jobs who are jelous he will be able to say "whatever" and go on with life.

    Funny thing is that there are elders in congregations who have very good jobs and put in many hours but because they do all the other stuff that is required, they keep themselves off the radar screen. Their life could be crap, but if they show up and put in the hours and meeting time, they are considered OK.


  • Bonnie_Clyde

    This brother should obey the elders. He should quit one or both jobs. Here is an exact quote from our district assembly this summer: " To fail to obey is really to reject the word of Jehovah. Failing to obey is no different than divination or idolatry."

    He had better obey or else!!!!

Share this