My wife caught me and in bed!!!!!!

by evergreen 16 Replies latest jw experiences

  • serendipity

    Hi evergreen,

    Just an additional thought. It seems to me that if Ray Franz was lying, the WTS would have sued. Yet CoC has been published in multiple editions.

  • misspeaches

    Evergreen good idea not to try and force her to read CoC... Suggestion -you could leave it on your bedside dresser. When your not around I bet you she will pick it up and have a read. Us women can't help ourselves sometimes. Especially when you have already made her curious due to your research!

  • PoppyR

    evergreen, I have been in a very similar situation, I was first thrilled that my husband seemd to be listening to what i was telling him but then massively dissapointed when he went to an elder about the 607 thing and totally swallowed what he had been told. It reinforced to me that people aren't ready til they're ready!! I have had a similar experience with a very close friend who has stopped speaking to me, labelled me an apostate within minutes of our last lunch date, because I said I felt disfellowshipping wasn't right. It's a delicate balance, you may be one of the lucky ones and she may see the light, but unfortunately many here are married to very devout dubs and have to live with the situation. But dont underestimate her loyalty to the collective.. And if you are trying to fade rather than be d'ad with all it's difficulties, then best keep a low profile for a while!

    Thinking of you!

    Poppy xx

  • mouthy

    But also, you should be prepared for trouble to come your way.

    Hate to add this to your paste ...But believe me -If she goes to the elders ,your in trouble You will either win your wife or lose her I praying for the winning(((((HUG)))

  • atypical

    Evergreen, welcome to the board and thanks for posting this thread. I am in a similar situation, with my wife still active and still devout. Those of us in that situation can benefit greatly by sharing our experiences, I think. I have not had anything as drastic as my wife finding out about Ray Franz, but I look forward to that time. We have had several friendly debates on disfellowshipping, but not such issues as blood, CoC, the UN scandal, and so forth.

    She definitely has picked up on the fact that I know a lot more than I am telling, but she hints a lot that she doesn't want me to inundate her with my views and info. Since she has not given me any crap for staying away from the meetings, I am trying to respect her wish. I do think that all the advice about doing this slowly is very, very, true. If you hit her with too much, all the built in defences that witnesses learn will kick in and she may not give the information a chance.

    Anytime something does come up, I have been trying very hard to steer the discussion toward a very logical breakdown, free of emotion. I think one thing I have really learned and learned well from being a witness is how to ask leading questions. I have tried very hard to use that tactic to show inconsistencies in watchtower teaching and rhetoric. I try to find ways to ask innocent questions that lead toward an answer which is obviously correct, but also obviously against watchtower thinking.

    Anyway, good luck to you!


  • Tez

    Didn't we all get caught up with JW's because we believed it was the truth? Well now you have found some real truth! and your wife can either accept it or not, you may have tapped into some of her own doubts? The ball is rolling and will look forward to hearing of further developments, be strong for the truth!

  • skyman

    If your wife does not believe you about Ray being DF'd for eating with his boss you can go to your lybrary and get a copy of US News and World Report (October, 8, 1984, p. 69) here it talks about his ordeal. I had to look up this information before I believed it was true. That was many years ago.

    My wife was like yours. She even left me once and only after she left did she finally realized I truely had made up my mind. She came back and said if it ment that much to me that I was willing to let her leave so as not to go to the meetings then she would look at the information I had. I did the same thing as you are doing. I studied very hard, wrote everything down the Society's side and the information I was finding out. I went to the college lybrary's and took no-ones word on anything,. I did this for years before my wife found out. I told no-one. It allmost killed me finding all of this out. I was willing to die for that religion and to find out the truth about it was almost more than I could stand. Be very patient and be aware the ELders will rty to get you. Please read my current post

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