Hi Daystar - James here;
I think I may be in the same place you are; I went 1980 to Oct this winter without ever making the attempt to log on to any of the forums or hook up with any of the EX groups, etc. I got on this one because of my friend Marion Dunlap had passed away recently and I thought that for all the good he did after his WT days, maybe some would not remember who he was or what was going on with him and his brother Ed in the Franz scandal.
When I actually left way back then, it took I would say, about 3 years to get the revenge hate thing out of my mind. I knew it was gone when I realized that I had spent at least several days not even thinking about the raw deal I had out of the society for the <>20 years in it. Sort of like when you have a bad cold and you get over it and then suddenly get the flash - wow, my throat doesn't hurt anymore and now I didn't even notice!
I quit posting for about a month or so after first making a few posts, then got in again today after lurking a while on the news thing. Probably will do that cycle again - just read and post when the notion strikes but not make it a permanent obsession. Point being, I agree with your idea that when we cannot relate to anything else but EXJW we are actually still letting this miserable louts still kind of control us!
Anyway, it sounds like there a lot of good people here and certainly not a high % of bomb throwers--
For what it is worth, your new net friend James.