Okay: Who is Barb & What's the "news"?

by lynnmelo 52 Replies latest jw friends

  • rebel8
    To me, child molesters should have two choices: 1) death penalty or 2) life imprisonment with chemical castration.

    Hi there lynn. I'll tell you my story FWIW.

    When I was in the org every rape victim I knew about (child victims or adults) were blamed for the rape 100% of the time. It was spread around the cong grapevine and everyone looked down upon them....the assumption being they must have caused it somehow. I did not know of any perps being JWs though (at the time).

    Several yrs after leaving the org I became a mental health professional in a hospital. I ended up treating both victims and perps. Several of my patients were JW victims of JW rapists. 1 in particular stands out in my mind because her perp was her elder/father who constantly interfered with her treatment and constantly threatened her with DFing. He insisted he had been forgiven by the local elders because he repented and my patient said that was true. He said as both her father (she was an adult) and as her elder, it was her scriptural obligation to continue both social and spiritual relationships with her, not limiting her contact with him at all. She was terribly ill and needed a break from being around her perp and from having sex with her husband. Perp/dad said he would have her DFd if she refused to carry on a sexual relationship with her husband and the husband pressed the matter as well. Never mind having sex and having contact with her perp caused her to have flashbacks etc. They did not care. The husband was a real sicko too. They both kept threatening her with DFing if she didn't do what they demanded.

    I specifically remember the patient being asked if the perp/dad had contact with children in the org and she said yes. Of course no one in the cong knew about his problem so he was allowed unbridled access to a big pool of potential victims. Oh, and to comment on your ideas for punishment.....I agree with the death penalty for the reason you stated--they cannot be rehabilitated. Life imprisonment with castration is too good for them IMO. A waste of oxygen.

  • Confession
    Unless the elders point blank tell a person to go to the authorities all the other counsel takes presidence over even a thought about going outside the cong. "leave it in Jehovah's hands"

    That's an essential point, Lady. Without reference to what elder bodies are supposed to say (or not to say,) those abused will mentally default at the general counsel not to "bring reproach" on the congregation.

  • katiekitten

    Confession, I am sure you have had some food for thought on this thread as have we all.

    Personally, I respect your honestly. Its not easy to justify what we have done in the past. Theres no going back on what has happened. I think lots of us would act differently now we are out.

    Peace be with you.

  • stillconcerned

    two thoughts:

    1) In California, an adult is required by law to report any SUSPICION of sexual abuse of a child to law enforcement. Failure to do so is a criminal offense.

    This has been the law for many years; the first version i have is from 1975.

    The law applies to any adult.

    2) POLICY is what you DO, not what you SAY you do.

    Kimberlee D. Norris

    attorney at law

  • Slave1111

    Hmm, I wonder.......

    Especially since Jehovah, the Almighty God is with me at all times, and He knows everything. Perhaps it might be that He is ready to take over this God forsaken planet. I wonder.......

    The Faithful Slave

  • Confession

    Thank you, Kimberlee. I didn't know that. I just moved to California five months ago. This event happened in another state 2500 miles away.

  • Odrade

    I also have a couple of questions... Confession, your committee found enough evidence to "convict" the brother to DF'ing, even without his confession. What would have happened in this committee if he had tearfully confessed and behaved repentantly? Would he have been privately reproved, the notes from the JC tucked into a manilla envelope and filed away, with none of the congregation any the wiser that there was a pedophile in their midst?
    Was it the defiance that resulted in the disfellowshipping? Or the molestation? And is it possible that your decision was made easier by the fact that he wasn't repentant and didn't throw himself on the mercy of the committee?

  • Confession

    Wow! Great questions, Odrade. In fact I'm writing every memory I have of this experience in a series of other threads, and I will address them. For now, I'll just say it seemed to me that my job was clear: if this thing was true, my job was to see to it that this matter was handled properly, so that nothing got "swept under the rug."

    I felt this way, after meeting with the second accuser and his family. They'd left the organization many years earlier, and were expressing concern over things not being concealed. Although they seemed particularly angry at the organization, they privately expressed their confidence that, as chairman, I would do the right thing. I hoped they were right.

    If anyone has any interest in reading of this matter further, I've created a series that will explain everything that happened. It's called "Former Elder Wants Your Advice." At the end of the story, I'll be asking for you advice as to what I should do now.

  • Gretchen956

    Confession, I would be very interested in your thoughts on what I wrote.


  • Gill

    Hi Confession - As much as I respect your candour, since it does throw light on the thinking of an 'honest hearted' elder, (whatever that might be) and why he might act in such a manner, I, in the position that I was in, in the JW cong, would NOT have for one moment agreed with you.

    I would have gone to the police.

    A man, in the postition of Elder, who had the WTBTS crap ringing in his ears that he was a 'Star' in the congregation and the sun probably shone out of his backside may well, and obviously did think that he was above the law of the land, above the law of common sense, and above the law of humanity.

    However, I was a nobody woman, in the eyes of the WTBTS so I knew reality just a little bit better than someone who enjoyed having their ego tickled in numerous watchtower studies.

    The decision your group of elders made was wrong and bad. That's it really. Why didn't you allow your common sense dictate to you?

    Didn't you feel uncomfortable in your decision? Didn't you care about vulnerable children who were not JWs or did it not matter if they were raped as they were bird food anyway?

    However, I'm not saying this to try to be angry or humiliate you, I do respect the mental position you were in. And, it just illustrates why JW Elders are incompetent of making any judgement on a persons character, repentance, disfellowshiping etc. They are untrained, mostly manuel workers, lacking in education, and common sense. They are ridden by a beaurocratic, legalistic bunch of ass holes that control the minds of 6 million zombies and cares nothing for any of these poor people.

    My God! How did I tolerate nearly forty years in that hell?

    Confession - I know it may not sound like it but I do sympathise with the position you were put in.

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