The last few district conventions I've been to, I haven't really been paying attention. At lunchtime I'd kind of just keep to myself and wander around. And I started picking up on something. Young Jehovah's Witness guys, at least in my corner of the world, are pretty much a bunch of duds. They look right at home in the shirt/tie/handbag combo and you just can't picture them lounging around with a brew playing cards and telling dirty jokes, or dancing at the bar, or whatever. And all these guys are walking around with these GORGEOUS girls on their arms! The kind of girls where you get nervous just thinking about what it might be like to consider maybe talking to them. It's unbelievable.
So what's the deal? Is it some kind of cruel joke on the part of the universe, sequestering all these amazing women in this sadistically repressed religion? Do these unattainable young beauties just swoon over the prospect of landing the guy working the amp Wednesday nights at the Hall? Is there some kind of correlation between penis size and number of hours spent in service? Or are these guys just the only option open to these girls so they take what they can get? It's really kind of weird. Makes me wonder if I should shave, drop out of school, and start door-knocking again... might be worth it to wake up next to one of these ladies every day. Don't think I haven't thought this over.