so what comes next........

fleaman uk

Ive had a Day off work today and have been reflecting on stuff like never before.

Ive had the strong Jw belief system from pretty much the word go.Then in 1995 that all started to end with the change in Generation.I couldnt believe what i was hearing!At the time i was an MS and reg Pioneer and 100% in my beliefs.Overtures were made to me about being an Elder.

The doubts continued until about 3 years ago,i couldnt stands no more (in best popeye voice)and dropped out the Religion with a bang!I had long relinquished the pioneering and the Ms.

What came next?Well for a year a completely hedonistic existance..boy,did i make up for lost time with the beer and the laydeez.I did it far away tho..still worried about the Elders.Then i became more blase..what right did those Elders have over what i chose to do??I celebrated Xmas..did birthdays,fell out spectacularly with Parents,got a great Gf,split up,got back together again..all in all a bit of a busy period!

But now its hit me.

Ive lost an entire belief system,one i adhered too before i saw the light.Now im completely nihilistic,nearly 35 (half way thru 3 score years and 10)and am genuinely concerned about what the future holds!

I guess what im saying is..where does one go for any spirituality?Is there a God?Jesus?Life after death?I doubt im the only one to experience fear of the future after being a Jw.After all,being a Jw its all mapped out for us...paradise,lions,perfection etc....

Please excuse the incoherent ramblings of an Old Man.....but i am genuinely concerned.

Any replies gratefully received!

Crumpet

its hard fleman to switch from one belief system to none - or nihilism. You are a father too I think? Because i have no kids i dont worry about a future i cant control. Thats no comfort i know but the best i can offer.

LittleToe

One day at a time. Fear only fear itself.

fleaman uk

Nope no Kids here crumpet.Great Nephews..i worry about them too.

Its weird to one day wake up and genuinely realise im not gonna change the World any way soon.

Ive finished the one day at a time route...blimey ,whats the plan/point?Is there one??

Little toe i read your posts avidly.You managed to change the Jw beliefs into a positive belief in Jesus and a strong spirituality.I envy you mate.

I had you in mind when i started the topic actually,

diamondblue1974

I guess what im saying is..where does one go for any spirituality?Is there a God?Jesus?Life after death?I doubt im the only one to experience fear of the future after being a Jw.After all,being a Jw its all mapped out for us...paradise,lions,perfection etc....

This is a natural reaction...one so many of us have either been through or are going through; this is usually the time where you begin to replace your belief system but of course you first need to identify what you believe...its a journey...and one you can enjoy if you look at it in a positive manner.

DB74

Finally-Free

Please excuse the incoherent ramblings of an Old Man.....but i am genuinely concerned.

Well, if you're an old man then I'm ancient.

After leaving the JWs I made it a point to avoid any religious reading or discussion for the first 2 years, as I wanted to get rid of as much watchtower thinking as possible. Only lately have I started looking at the bible again, and reading some commentaries on it. It's quite interesting to see how far the JWs have deviated from traditional christianity. It's also interesting to see how they've mistranslated their own bible to correspond with their non traditional teachings.

W

Dansk

Hi Fleaman,

Ive lost an entire belief system,one i adhered too before i saw the light. Now im completely nihilistic,nearly 35 (half way thru 3 score years and 10)and am genuinely concerned about what the future holds!

Obviously, most people can identify with your statement above. One thing that particularly bothers people after leaving the organisation is coming to terms with death - because, really, no-one knows where to start, paradise having been thrown out the window! An excellent book, one which I am re-reading right now, is The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying by Sogyal Rinpoche, which contains a wonderful foreword from the Dalai Lama. This book will give you a good grounding in what death really means and how it can be embraced, rather than feared.

There are many spiritual books out there but, quite simply, this is one of the superiour ones. It has helped (and is still helping) me immensely. It will give you real food for thought and I never put it down without feeling more upbeat and more positive about the future - and the fear of death dissipates in an instant. A truly wonderful, uplifting work - and you don't have to be a Buddhist to thoroughly appreciate its wisdom.

Best wishes,

Ian

fleaman uk

FF

It sounds as though you have done pretty much what i would like to do...after leaving it was all partying..no time for religion at all.But now i think its curiosity im feeling......

Dansk and Db

Thanks chaps..great advice.

I have never had so many good Friends and Family ...rediscovered Uncles,cousins etc "worldly"who are wonderful People...but still theres this nagging need for something higher.

Im guessing we dont fully find out until we,ve shuffled off....boy,thats nihilistic.

AK - Jeff

Tough, huh?

I have had similar feelings to yours - sometimes nearly daily, since leaving. I have not pursued a purely self-centered direction in my life. I have continued to call myself a Christian thru it all. I have found that there is so much more spiritual thinking out there than I thought there was. As a dub, we just knew no one had any spirituality but us, right?

I have taken up reading, reading of all sorts really. But I have read a lot of Christian books too. It has aided me to gain perspective. I have discovered that most of the authors are less focused on 'absolute truth', and more focused on relationship with God and his Son. This has aided me to find better balance in my thinking. After all, a Christian is a follower of Christ, right? Follower not a walking encyclopedia of 'absolute truth'. I don't believe that exists anywhere.

I have gone from knowing it all [as a witness] to knowing very little. Does God want us to be all-knowing? Or would he prefer one who admits to not knowing, but loves all in his life like Jesus did?

I too, have admired LT's ability to just walk away. I haven't been able to do that so easily, but seeing that others have has been inspiring to me indeed.

all thoughts with you -

Jeff

Ingenuous

Familiar feelings, fleaman.

In a way, I started from scratch when my JW belief system fell apart. Why did I believe what I believe? Could I trust my primary textbook, the Bible? Where do I go from here?

I've held on to many beliefs and developed others as I continued searching and researching. I remain a Christian - moreso than I ever was before. I read up on JW history and read through C. T. Russell's works. While there is some stuff in his theology and a lot - a lot - in his chronology that I don't agree with, there were a few gems that got me thinking. I've found that to be the biggest advantage of spiritual exploration: even if you don't agree with a particular paradigm, examining it will - if you let it - get you thinking, allow you to sharpen your mental skills, and help you clarify what you want and what's important to you.

One of my projects when I was working on getting out was going to the Yahoo! or Google religion directory, picking a belief system, and clicking through the websites for each denomination or organization, examining their Statements of Belief and what they had to offer. It was such a relief to be able to do that without the paranoia and defensiveness of the mindset you pick up in a high-control group.

One of the greatest gifts of all this study and thinking is developing the ability to live with uncertainty. I don't have to know it all, I don't have to have all the answers, I don't have to understand every little thing. Learning how to live with not knowing everything but, instead, being happy with knowing enough is something I never thought I'd be able to accomplish.

I wish you the best on your journey.

so what comes next........

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