Bullying/Harrasement-Please advise

by doodle-v 32 Replies latest jw friends

  • sf

    8 and 10..means there is still a good chance to nip this abusive behavior in the bud. But the parents and you all need to talk about this, and the Y.

    I would insist on a meeting at the Y with all parties involved, including their parents. Go in calm and collected.

    In that meeting I would set my cards out on the table as to how I intend to persue THE PARENTS irresponsibilities in this issue if the abuse does not stop. I would have it in writing too. DOCUMENT EVERYTHING!

    I would not be above going to my local media outlet either and suggest that my community and other parents need to be warned of these abusive children.

    It always comes back to doing what you need to do in order to make your daughters life, stress free.

    These girls need a reality check. As do, ap[parent]ly, the parents.


  • Effervescent

    You've gotten some awesome advise so far, I think the most notable being "Document Everything".

    Most child care facilities require parents to sign some sort of disciplinary agreement that says essentially in part- If your child is endangering the welfare of other children they will take measures to correct said behavior. If those measures don't work, they will have to take further action leading up to and possibly including expulsion. I think this most definatly would apply to the mental and emotional welfare of your child. They are dropping the ball in not following through with their disciplinary procedures. Do whatever it takes to force them to expel these children. They are ruining the place for every other child there.

    Good for you for getting on top of this situation right away. There's no excuse for this to happen.

  • sf
    Its a very simple choice... what kind of children do they want in the Y?

    I was just thinking that when I hit submit to my last post.

    The community does not need to have an organization like the Y, accepting of these types of abusive children and doing nothing about it.

    I'm sure the Y does not want such publicity.

    I wonder too, if they abuse other children but no one wants to say anything or do anything.

    Why should they be allowed to stress others out and alter how they live and most likely, damage their esteem? Seems these girls may live in and with abuse themselves. Causing stress in their own lives, so they lash out at others.

    Something is clearly causing their behavior. They just may be crying out for help. Keep that in mind. They are very young, but there is hope for all.

    {{ Well wishes doodle }}


  • doodle-v
    Why should they be allowed to stress others out and alter how they live and most likely, damage their esteem? Seems these girls may live in and with abuse themselves. Causing stress in their own lives, so they lash out at others.

    I was thinking the same thing.

    The thing that really bothers me is that I hate to just sit and wait for something to be resolved or for someone else to fix a situation like this. I'd hate to just assume the situation is being corrected while my daughter silently suffers. I really want to go fix it myself right now! But I don't want to be too hasty and end up making the situation worse for my little girl.

    Thank you so much for the excellent advice guys. It really means a lot to me!


  • GoingGoingGone

    ((((((doodle-v))))))) (((((((doodle-v's daughter)))))))

    Now that your daughter has confided in you, this becomes a learning experience for her. What she should learn, imo, is that she does not have to endure harassment, no matter how old she is or how old her harassers are. Mom and Dad will make it stop, because other people are not allowed to treat her that way. She will learn from this that she deserves to be treated with respect. It's a lesson too many children never learn.

    On a side note, the children who are harassing her are probably very unhappy kids. That's not your problem, but you might want to point that out to her. It will help her understand, too, that there is nothing wrong with her (that's not why they were bothering her.)

    Best of luck to you!


  • Elsewhere

    I like the way squirrels handle bullies Story from BBC NEWS:

    Russian squirrel pack 'kills dog'

    Squirrels have bitten to death a stray dog which was barking at them in a Russian park, local media report.

    Passers-by were reportedly too late to stop the attack by the black squirrels in a village in the far east, which reportedly lasted about a minute.

    They are said to have scampered off at the sight of humans, some carrying pieces of flesh.

    A pine cone shortage may have led the squirrels to seek other food sources, although scientists are sceptical.

    The attack was reported in parkland in the centre of Lazo, a village in the Maritime Territory, and was witnessed by three local people.

    A "big" stray dog was nosing about the trees and barking at squirrels hiding in branches overhead when a number of them suddenly descended and attacked, reports say.

    "They literally gutted the dog," local journalist Anastasia Trubitsina told Komsomolskaya Pravda newspaper.

    "When they saw the men, they scattered in different directions, taking pieces of their kill away with them."

    Mikhail Tiyunov, a scientist in the region, said it was the first he had ever heard of such an attack.

    While squirrels without sources of protein might attack birds' nests, he said, the idea of them chewing at a dog to death was "absurd".

    "If it really happened, things must be pretty bad in our forests," he added.

    Komosmolskaya Pravda notes that in a previous incident this autumn chipmunks terrorised cats in a part of the territory.

    A Lazo man who called himself only Mikhalich said there had been "no pine cones at all" in the local forests this year.

    "The little beasts are agitated because they have nothing to eat," he said.

  • lisavegas420

    I remember my daugher getting bullied by a girl..actually in a note and said she was bringing a gun to school and was going to kill her. I took the note to the principal. The girl was charged and arrested and had to do comunity services. After the second weekend of comunity service, my daughter talked to the girl at school and decided to go down and do community service with her. They became friends.


  • Sassy

    I would see what happens with the director, but not let it be long that you wait for results. I'd maybe even think about not sending your daughter there until you know the matter is resolved. They are all liable, the parents and the Y if the behavior is allowed. Don't let up on this, because you have rights that your daughter is safe.

  • Nate Merit
  • manicmama

    Another thing I would definately do is go to the principal of the school. This may be a Y program but it is held on school property which makes them liable as well. Most schools in the US have a zero tolerence policy and I would say this certainly falls into that. I had a similar issue with this same program in the school my son went to and this is the way I finally received some satisfaction to the issue. The people running the Y program seemed to be very young and unable to control most of the children. Good Luck!

    Manic M

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