Bullying/Harrasement-Please advise

by doodle-v 32 Replies latest jw friends

  • doodle-v

    Our child goes to an after school child care provide by the local Y. It's right at her elementary school, so after class she just goes there to another class room with the other kids and they play games, do homework etc, till we pick her up after work. She's gone there for two years and liked it. She has lots of friends at school and gets along with just about everyone. Lately though when I've picked her up I noticed that she wasn’t her usual self. I've asked her what was the matter and she told me that two girls (they are sisters) were being really mean to her.

    I know kids can be mean, and I'm sure most of us have been picked on for something when we were in school, but these girls are being extremely vindictive, the things they are saying are cruel and rather inappropriate. I feel that it is the Y's responsibility to make sure the kids are in a healthy environment and they are notified of a situation such as this they should do something to put a stop to it. Yesterday when I picked her up she had tears in her eyes and I asked her what was the problem. The lady at the Y just said my daughter came to her but wouldn’t tell her what the girls had said for fear of “getting in trouble.” The lady said that these girls are constantly picking on my daughter and she has repeatedly told them to stop. She’s even talked to their parents but they keep doing it. The lady acted like there was nothing else she could do. She also said they have an “attitude” with other kids as well.

    When we got home my daughter told me something the girls said to her that day which was very disturbing. It was rather explicit and I was shocked and very angry to say the least. Today my husband called the branch office and spoke to the director notifying them of the situation. We told her we hope they put a stop do the bullying that is going and would rather it be taken care of before we seek other assistance. She said they will correct it, and speak with the girls parents.

    I am worried it will still continue or if the girls are still there, they will act even worse because my daughter spoke up. Not sure If we should go talk to the parents ourselves or not. Personally I just want to go talk to those two little brats and tell them to leave my daughter alone!! *sigh*


  • jgnat

    This is serious. Usually children work out little tiffs on their own, but this is above and beyond, systematic. I would refuse to take your daughter back there until those two girls are GONE.

  • doodle-v


    Thank you!


  • daystar

    I would probably wait to see that the situation is taken care of now that the branch office has been contacted. If it is not, pull her out.

    Let us know how it goes. I've a son in pre-K at a local child development center and he has seen a little bit of this sort of thing (another boy kicked him in the neck!!), but not as much as your has. (My son's a pretty tough kid and took it in stride, BTW. I told him not to put up with that sort of treatment if it happens again, because I certainly will not. Let's learn some Jedi moves, boy!)

    If it gets physical, there may be legal recourse you may take against the children's parents.

  • sf

    You don't mention the ages of any of these kids.

    If it we my situation, I would go directly to the parents. And I would make sure the girls were with them at that time. I would not expect the Y to handle it as their sole responsibilty. She is MY daughter. I will handle MY responsibilties. Please know that I am not saying this as a judgement against how you are already handling it.

    If this does not work, and it were still my situation, I would actually file an harassment report. And I would notify child protection.

    Let's me put it in simpler terms...I would do anything it took, legally, to stop my daughter from having to have her life and esteem damaged due to irresponsible parents. Ultimately, these two girls were not taught the deeper issues of how to treat your fellow human.

    I wish you well and keep us posted.

    By the way, is there any reason you haven't already gone to their parents?


  • RichieRich

    I'm just a kid, so I can't offer much advice...

    (but mature Richie thinks you should go to the little bitches' parents and give `em a piece of your mind)

    But the effects of Verbal Abuse are more damaging than physical abuse. Do everything you can to shelter your daughter, and protect her...

  • jgnat

    I thought of saying, "Wait to see what Head office does", but the problem is, the cat is out of the bag, the girls are going to get an ineffectual reaming out from their parents (we already know those girls have ineffectual parents) and the bullying will likely escalate.

    So sure, give a chance for head office to deal with it, but the little girl does not go back in to harm's way.

    My mom gave me the worst advice ever when I was six, I came in crying because the two boys next door were calling me names, and egging my own siblings on as well. My mom told me to say, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me". I did. They came after me with sticks and stones.

  • doodle-v

    The two bully sisters are 8 and 10. I just realized how seriousness of the situation was last night when my daughter told me what they said to her yesterday. I thought about filing a harrassement report our contacting the authorities, but my husband is of the frame of mind to try and resolve it with the director of the branch office first. My husband and I plan on going there this afternoon when we pick her up and talking with lady in charge of the kids there. I really want to talk to the childs parents and we will likely do just that, although I'm worried I will get too angry to talk calmly and my husband will need to hold me back! grrr

    Thanks for the advice guys!


  • jeanniebeanz

    What sf said.

    Start a paper trail. Document the issue and if possible get the administrators email address. Send him daily reports if necessary. When they start to see the paperwork fly, they'll be more quick to move and will take it very seriously. For one, they are on notice that a trail has been started and you can prove electronically of having notified them of a problem.

    This has worked very well for me in the past.

    Good luck with this. Your poor little daughter...


  • Elsewhere

    Tell the Y they have a very simple choice:

    A: Refuse to allow the bullies in the Y and keep your kind and friendly daughter

    B: Have you remove your kind and friendly daughter from the Y while they keep the bullies.

    Its a very simple choice... what kind of children do they want in the Y?

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