by goingthruthemotions 53 Replies latest jw friends
Life does NOT have to be full of this sort of stress!
Just because stuff like this is thrown our way, does not mean we have to accept it.
If you confidently take control of your own life, you can reclaim control over your own happiness. That may mean a fresh start...one free of all divisive influences.
It may hurt initially, but the overal benefits will far out way any temporary pains....
So would i sowhatnow.....i agree..she might have hidden motives. i have not slept much in the last 2 days. maybe 7 hrs. it sucks....my counselor thinks she has other motives has well and might be using this to get out of our marriage.
Bigs Thanks Flipper for the phone convo....it made me feel so much better.
this board is amazing and so supportive.
I just can't believe this is happening...my marraige is falling apart due to a cult.
So sorry you are going through this...I have been experiencing the joy of cult life with my spouse as well, he has shunned me, yelled at me, talked to elders about me, threw away my Captives of a Concept book, etc. I stopped going in June (i was never a jw, was unbaptized publisher, married to a born in who was inactive when we met and married just went back in uber dub mode about 2 years ago) it is ridiculous what this religion does to family and the mind control is mind boggling to me.
Hang in there. Go do fun stuff with your kids, if your wife tries talking about the religion anymore just bow out. Tell her you will no longer be discussing anything related to jws with her anymore. And then dont. If she continues being erratic determine if you can live with that.
I'm very sorry to hear of this development.
This was my fear.
I hope this works out.
See an attorney and fast. The Borg has big guns and has made a brochure about divorce and child custody isssues. Try to get a copy and prepare your lawyer for an upcoming battle.
I have delayed adding to this as I am about to go through this myself. My wife went into full cult mode a few months back. We got past the initial discussions and it hasn't come up since. However, I'm about to tell her I'm done with being a witness. I've been working on getting up the nerve to tell her. I've even written her a letter, put it in an envelope and put it away for now. I'm not trying to be mean to her. It's not about her.
Ever since our discussion a few months back, she has been gobbling up everything JW. Studying more, watching JW TV a lot, etc.
I think my situation will turn out a lot like yours. The thing is, I don't want to be with someone who I can't be open with. The irony of that is that while I know this will probably end the marriage, I don't want to hurt her in the process. Sadly, though, there really isn't a way around it unless I just keep everything bottled up for the rest of my life. Of course, if that's what I have to do, I'd rather be dead. (No, I'm not suicidal... I just think the peace of being dead would be preferable to enduring this for the next who knows how many years.)
So, I feel for you, man. This cult is responsible for this for way too many families.
GTTM, I agree with those who think she has other motives in mind. When I was in and my ex was doing things and was on the fringes, the only counsel I got was that unless he cheated on me,beat me, refused to work, or prevented me from worshipping Jehovah, then I had no reason to separate. Sounds to me like she is trying to provoke you into an act that she can claim you laid hands on her, or that you are preventing her worship. Be very careful! Do not engage her in anyway when she is acting out. Walk away from the fight.
If she really wants to stay in, and stay married, then it can all be worked out. But are you sure this is what she wants? She maybe trying to drive you away and using you leaving the org as the excuse she needs to end it and come out smelling like a rose to the congregation. You really need to get to what her true motives are. If she really wants to end it, do you really want to stay? In the end, make sure you do what is in the best interest of your kids and yourself. Protect yourself and them...see an attorney ASAP. I'm willing to bet she already has.
Heisenburg: Jesus made whose name known?
When deciding what a christian should focus on in his preaching efforts, Jesus' direct instructions to his followers take precedence over what Jesus himself did. Jesus told his followers that they were to be witnesses of him and throughout the book of Acts and even the book of Revelation there are passages that highlight that early Christians were witnesses of Jesus. Not that christians aren't to also witness about God. The point is witnessing about Jesus should be prominent on the agenda quite unlike what the JWs are doing. Jesus direct instructions and the example of faithful 1st century christians recorded in the book of Acts speak volumes showing clearly that christians give prominence to witnessing about Jesus. When it comes to the prominence of Jesus in the message being preached, JWs are strangers to the first century christianity revealed in scripture.
Although christians are followers of christ, not everything Jesus did is to be done by his followers to the same extent and degree. Jesus' role in bearing witness about his father was a unique one because of Jesus unique position as one who had first hand information about God that no other human had. The same cannot be said about christians today. So you can't use the fact that Jesus made God's name known - i.e. God's true character and reputation - as a basis for claiming christians are to spend 99.9% of their time witnessing about God's literal name and 0.1% witnessing about Jesus. How ridiculous! Jesus healed the sick and raised the dead. Why aren't JWs doing that?
Also, Jesus didn't only preach about his Father. Jesus also preached a lot about himself, speaking about himself in the third person as "the Son of Man", "God's son", etc. Go read the gospels - really read them, with an open mind, free of Watchtower preconceptions - and see for yourself where Jesus often preached about himself telling people to come follow him, that he is the light of the world, etc. Even though he made his father's true character known, Jesus also preached about himself - to a greater degree than JWs today preach about him. JWs should be ashamed of themselves for their shoddy treatment of Jesus.
