Still on the fence!

by acuragirl 51 Replies latest jw friends

  • JT
    JT

    plz read COC- if you are serious then you need to read his book- otherwise you are merely treading water

  • fullofdoubtnow
    fullofdoubtnow

    Hi AG, I have so much empathy for you!

    I am perhaps in a similar situation to you. I have recently been deliberately missing meetings, and have so many doubts now my head hurts, but it is hard to consider leaving, and I would think even harder to actually make the break, I haven't arrived at that point yet, but it could be in my future, I just don't know. What I do know is that being on this forum will help both of us. There are so many kind, loving people on here who will accept us unconditionally, unlike the witnesses, so I am going to keep reading and posting when I can. When we need support, this is the place to get it. I hope everything turns out well for you, whatever you do.

    love Linda

  • acuragirl
    acuragirl

    You guys are right i need to stop kidding myself and look at the logic.I also need to reassure myself that they are bs by reading there those two books mentioned.I think with time and a little extra study i will see what i need to.Then i will be sure of my decision to leave and stay gone.Besides you are all right i wouldnt stay with an abusive husband who constantly threatened me and made me fearful of him if i didnt stay.I cant possibly stay in a religon or be affiliated with one that forces you to OBEY,OR ELSE DEATH.I just hate what they are aloud to do to people,Ruin their lives.Im just glad i never got baptized.I was smart there.

  • acuragirl
    acuragirl

    DEFD,I have night after night prayed to JEHOVAH and thrown my anxieties on him,to no avail.The one time i thought he had answered my prayer it might have been more coincidence than anything else.I asked that if the witnesses had the truth,that they would come to my door,and guess what a couple weeks later they did,That messed me up and i really thought that was JEHOVAHS answer to me.My husband thought i was crazy and told me i was just a coincidence.Hes right i could have been,i dont know but if Jehovah really wanted to help me and he knows the struggle im going through to find "the truth" then he would make it clear as crystal where i need to go. If the witnesses have the truth why the hell is it soooo difficult to see it??Where is it,somewhere mixed in between all the falsehoods?Look at the logic defd you cannot deny all the things exposed in the religon,you cannot answer the tough questions,and neither can I.If i cannot make sense of the religon i supposedly believe in and it appears ridiculus to everyone else, i dont want to be in it.

  • AlmostAtheist
    AlmostAtheist
    I also need to reassure myself that they are bs by reading there those two books mentioned.I think with time and a little extra study i will see what i need to.Then i will be sure of my decision to leave and stay gone.

    Knowledge is power. I'll toss a quote at you that brought it all together for me as I was leaving JW's:

    I would rather have questions I can't answer, than answers I can't question.

    Tough road to travel, out of a controlling organization like JW's. Keep posting, keep asking. Keep verifying. Don't take anyone's word for anything, check it out for yourself.

    Take care,

    Dave

  • TheListener
    TheListener

    Welcome Acuragirl.

    I hope you find what you're looking for.

    The journey out of the Witnesses is a long and lonely one. This board helps ease the trip. I wish you luck.

    Please if you have any scriptural questions that we can discuss here by all means ask them. Even if we've discussed them before it may be helpful for you and us to discuss them again.

    We're here to help.

  • xjwms
    xjwms

    acuragirl

    I have prayed many times just like you. I have learned that:

    Prayer is self - hypnosis.

  • dezpbem
    dezpbem

    Hi Acuragirl

    I was raised in "The Truth" myself. I remember going through alot of what your going through. I recall stressing myself over these huge cosmic abstact questions that you really can't answer like "what if this is the one right religion?", "will I really loose etertnal life?", etc. After you leave and no longer get your daily dose of brainwashing these questions start to mean less and less to you over time. Eventually you just don't give a rat's a*s!

    Ask yourself my favorite question; Would an omnipotent all knowing god care what name you called him? Would an omnipotent all knowing god want you to sit in a chair listening to speeches day in day out and drive yourself crazy with brainwashing? Would an omnipotent all knowing god want you to be unhappy? Would an omnipotent all knowing god destroy you for leaving a screwed up religion? Would an omnipotent all knowing god make all of humanity suffer endlessly because of one piece of stollen fruit? If so then he can keep eternal life as far as i'm concerned. Would you really want to live under the rullership of such a vindictive diety? Forever?

    I don't believe in a vindictive childish god. I do believe there are vindictive childish belief systems created by vindictive childish men.

    Im stil sooo confused even with all the evidence pointing to they are full of crap!What if they arent?I just want to know the truth even if i dont choose to follow it,

    This is an example of "huge cosmic questions without answers" as I like to call them. You'll drive yourself crazy with them. Read this post I made...if you can reads it's whole thread...some of it may apply to you, i'm unsure...http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/100487/1731279/post.ashx#1731279

    If i dont get off the fence soon im going to go nuts.

    What's making you "go nuts" is the constant questioning and doubt. Do you still go to meetings? If so stop. You can always go back. Make yourself a promise. "'m not going to even concern myself with the jw for the next 6 months". Try not talking to them, reading about them (with the exception of the Franz books you were recommended), nothing. Do you have hobbies? Do them and get some more. Go out more often. Get some books and videos on massage with your husband (great relief from stress and it sounds like you need it). Make it a point to give each other a full body massage each day. One day you get one the next day he does. You'll be surprised to find that the answers to this stressful time don't come from answers at all. They come from getting your mind off the unanswerable, doing things to destress yourself, and diving into the fun and exciting things in life that you love.

    I think you'll do fine if you get your mind off of the rollercoaster of endless unanswerable questions. The answers to the answerable ones are another story. You'll find most of those in the books you were recommended. I think you'll be fine.

    Time for me to get back to work...

    Smiles

    Dez

  • Jez
    Jez
    ....Throw all your burdens and anxiety upon Jehovah and he will sustain you, because He CARES for you

    Prayer IS self hypnosis! I was just going to say that, and add...I believe that when we pray, we are praying to ourselves. We are asking ourselves to find the strength already within us to deal with any given situation. It is the same as positive self talk. Prayer is nothing more than our inner mother/father nurturing, disciplining or guiding us.

    Give it time, pray to yourself, and get involved in the big bad ol world and you will see for yourself that they are clearly squeezing the world into a predetermined mold that they made based on their interpretation of the bible.

  • acuragirl
    acuragirl

    As always great advice and encouraging words from all of you.Thankyou all so much for your help.The first thing i need to do is get those books, can i get them online??I think reading them is a huge step on my way out!

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit