I've been debating on whether or not to share this...but here goes

by findingmyway 69 Replies latest jw experiences

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  findingmyway

  For those of you who will be disgusted that I even attended the meeting, let alone allow my son to give his first public talk tonight, please, spare me the shouting messages. I take full responsibility for what I experienced this evening. Yet, I feel the need to share this experience that has me enraged. I've had about all I can take at this point...now on to the story.

  A couple of months ago my son expressed to my parents that he wanted to join the theocratic ministry school. They shared this with me, and my response was o.k. Not o.k. sign him up, but o.k. I'll think about it. The next evening I had to work late and needed them to watch him for me, which coincidentally was the night of the TMS. When he came home he announced (excitedly) that he had joined the TMS. I just didn't know what to do. He knows that I am df'd, but I haven't expressed to him yet that I don't want to attend the meetings anymore. As I already mentioned, I take full responsibility for what I experienced this evening.

  I allowed him to give his talk. My plan was...you know, I really didn't have a plan. I am so filled with regret and anger that I can't even think straight. Anyway...

  He had the bible reading and did an awesome job. After he finished his talk, he got the applause and just a wonderful response from the audience. O.k. here's where it gets ridiculous!

  The School Overseer gives his commendation and goes on to give a speech about how great it is that he has grandparents, uncles and aunts in the truth to guide him and keep him close to Jehovah. He said it is obvious that someone spent time with him practicing his talk because he pronounced every word perfectly. He gave all the praise to my parents for supporting my son. Mind you, this person has known me all my life and saw me sitting in the rear with my family. O.k. I'm heated, but finally he says:

  "It feels like he belongs to us." And everyone joined together in applause again.

  I had to leave the room.

  I have to admit. Until that moment, I never thought of this religion as a "cult", but how dare they say that my son BELONGS TO THEM. What the heck!

  I almost hit the roof! It took everything in me not to explode! Not to stand up and scream at the top of my lungs that they are such hypocrites. It wasn't bad enough that they spoke of him as though he was an orphan. But these people do not know my child. He doesn't go the meetings and I don't even know why they allowed him to join the TMS in the first place. These people...not one of these people...my family included...do not spend any time with my child. They don't know him. They don't know his nature. They don't know his heart. They don't know his like and dislikes. They don't even know what grade he is in. How dare he announce right in my face that the reason my son is so well mannered and can read so well (because that is all they know of him) is because of my parents! It has been months since we last attended, but he and I will never set foot in another KH EVER AGAIN!

  I can't bear a tongue lashing right now, so please...if you must, DON'T. I just needed to vent.
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  tnangel73

  (((((findingmyway)))) Just wanted you to have a hug because I really feel for what you went through tonight. Hang in there!
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  Lady Lee

  No tongue lashing from me.

  I'm amazed you controlled yourself so well.

  I can just bet they were lavishing a lot of love-bombing on him.

  It really is unbelievable how rude, obnoxious, in-your-face nasty and hurtful they can be.

  And they are using your child to hurt you.

  The nerve.

  I applaud your decision to never go back.

  It;s sad that this is what it took but at least you are off the fence now.

  And can protect your son from these vultures
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  bitemeWT

  "It feels like he belongs to us." And everyone joined together in applause again.

  
  OH MY GAWD!

  No tongue lashing here, my friend... Just a hug

  Now take that little man of your's and get him as far away from that cult as possible. I'm so sorry. Edited to add... we try and respect their decision to be in that so-called religion, and this is how they pay us back. Jerks.
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  Jeffro

  Witnesses simply have no respect for 'disfellowshipped' people (re-inforced by their 'they left the truth' rationale), so they feel no compunction whatsoever about such downright insulting behaviour. They would see no insult or insensitivity, blinded by their own self-aggrandizing praise for 'taking in' the 'orphan'. To say such things while the child's parent is in the hall is even more deplorable.
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  horrible life

  Please findingmyway, Keep telling your son what a great job he did. Find something fun to do every Thursday night, and both of you fade away.

  I would have been so pissed. My first thought was that the JW's are copying Hillary Clinton, in 'It takes a village to raise a child'

  I disagree with her also. It isn't the village's child, it's mine. Or maybe I just don't like her. I'm sorry, back to you. I am glad that you held your tongue on your son's (special haha) night. Don't know if I could have. I had a run in at the gas station today. Got upset, walked to my car, turned around, and walked all the way back in the store, to strongly say how I disliked things. So you did good. (((((((HUGS))))))) HL
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  misspeaches

  You won't get any negative reaction from me.

  I am sorry that this has happened to you. I am sorry that your congregation treats you so appallingly. I hope that your son can see the effects of it on you. Kids although young can at times be incredibly astute about matters involving their loved ones.

  How dare they assume ownership of your son like that. I am sure you are an excellent parent. Hang in there!
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  AuldSoul

  No negative from me either, but they are really trying to separate his love from you in an active way. Here's my two centavos. you gotta go slow deprogramming your son. What does he like to do? Get him doing that on meeting nights and times for service. Don't make a big deal about it. Encourage him in every way you can to respect his grandparents and to think for himself.

  AuldSoul
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  mrs rocky2

  (((hugs))) you have so much self-control! I felt my heart being ripped from my chest! I had to remind myself that my own parents have told my daughters they shouldn't talk to us and that my brother-in-law and his wife consider us 'dead.' Those arrogant so-and-so's! Taking advantage of a young person by showering him with praise. What child doesn't like being complimented? Shame on them! Orphan, pshaw! how presumptuous! how pharisee like!
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  Momofmany

  He said it is obvious that someone spent time with him practicing his talk because he pronounced every word perfectly. He gave all the praise to my parents for supporting my son.

  I so understand what you are saying. I get a response like that from family members, when my children get a compliment. It's because they were raised in "the truth" is why they are good kids now. Forget that we haven't been in a few years, and my youngest was 3 when we left.

  So no tongue lashing here from me either. Their actions, responses, and what was said, was wrong. Not just because of what was said and done, but the motivation behind it. It seems to me they did it, not to benifit him, but to hurt you.

  IMHO, I hope that this is his not only first talk, but his last. Hope he gets out before he is too attached.