Mrs. ITIS/FreedomLover - How I "saw the light!" ha ha ha (page 3)

Jankyn

Dear FreedomLover,

Thanks so much for sharing your story with us. As you know, we were pulling for you before we even knew you.

What struck me was your comment further down about how all the things that were supposed to be making you and ITIS closer (study, service, etc.) were putting a wall between the two of you. That's so true! The organization's interpretation of "Jehovah's plan for the family" doesn't include honesty or a genuine sharing of feelings and thoughts. How can you be close to someone that you're afraid to tell the truth to?

That's certainly been the case with me and the JWs in my family. I can't trust them to love me if I say something they disapprove of; without trust, love is impossible.

Great insight. See, you're new here, and you're already helping others. Welcome.

Jankyn

Legolas

Thank you so much for sharing that with us!

I have followed your husbands posts with interest I hope it works out for you and your family!

TopHat

My husband who is an ubm but had studied a few times with the brothers...defended the witnesses when I told him I was going to DA and why......but when I told him as of this moment you are MARKED and if you raise your hand to answer at the meetings, they will not call on you. That pissed him off to no end. He then started cursing them (not with bad words) but he said...OH! It probably pisses them off that I resisted being baptized. I just had to laugh at his remark at being MARKED by the cong.! hehehehe

Billygoat

(((((freedom lover))))))) Nothing as wonderful as freedom comes without a price. I know it's hard, but the price for me was worth it. No, my family and I are estranged and rarely see each other. But KNOWING without a doubt that I'm LIVING truth gives me a clean conscience, which is what I think God wants for all of us. No matter what obstacles we come up against, if we can be true to ourselves and Truth, then isn't it worth it?

Honesty

WOW !!!!!

I'm glad you saw the light and your family is intact. You just don't know how much relief I have because of that. My family disintegrated when I started questioning crazy JW doctrines (ex told the elders that I was a rebel), reading bibles other than the NWT (ex told the elders she suspected I was becoming apostate), quit going to the meetings (ex told the elders she was worried that my 'weak spiritual condition' was beginning to affect the children), began an in-depth study of past and present WT doctrines (ex told the elders I was being critical of the organisation), etc. A mind is a terrible thing to waste and I'm very happy you haven't wasted yours like my ex and most of her family has wasted theirs in clinging to the WT lies and deceptions.

Andrea Wideman

Welcome FreedomLover
I know how hard it is to hear a husband or anyone tell you that you had been lied to. Joel, my husband, did that for me. He too is a straightshooter and instead of planting seeds just came right out and said that we have to talk. He told me that I wouldn't like what he said and that he was very sorry that he ever got me involved. It was really difficult to listen to him about the JW's but I did since we have a great relationship. It took a couple of days of discussion, when the kids were in school, but in the end I had to agree with him. I couldn't keep identifying myself as a liar and certainly couldn't do that to my kids. Who were one of the reasons I stopped being Catholic. So I rapidly wrote my letter of DA and mailed it off. After 11 years of being a JW the first few days of freedom were the roughest. All those rules I had to remember to stop following. Now I am free and happy but still searching for a real church that is loving. Also a place of worship where I don't have to be afraid of being judged. I pray that your next ten years of marriage are happier than the past ten and that you both keep up the good communication. I eagerly look forward to reading more of your posts.
Andrea

sass_my_frass

Thank you so much, Freedomlover! My faith was based on the same thing; everyone I've ever known and loved believed it, so IT HAS to be true... I can't understand this so it must be true and I'm just not researching enough.... what else is there?... who else in the world has such a loving brotherhood?.... It's just a bunch of old guys though, nice enough, sincere enough in their motives, but each of them is thinking the same thing: everybody else here is intelligent enough and THEY believe it, and I don't have time to look deeply into it myself, and what would I do without my friends and family? And what kind of skills do I have to make it out there anyway?

It's so raw and fresh for me too, but I do have a loving husband who is going to be with me right through it. I'm actually making an effort to get back in because of how badly my family are hurting; and they're nice folk really. So I'll be doing what it takes to be reinstated, because I can be a witness without being a Witness. I still love Jehovah, whoever he is. I suspect that as a lifetime witness I have totally incorrect conceptions of who God is. For the moment I'm focussing on Christian love, and that's all I need right now. I love Jehovah and Jesus or whoever God is; Allah? I hope that God understands that it's not easy to work out, and doesn't really care if we're wrong on a few details, as long as we get the basics right, like Love.

Some advice: I don't recommend disfellowshipping; or in your case, disassociating. It will be a lot better for you and your kids if you're still allowed to talk to your old friends. Your mother might be poisoned, but you have a lot of other old ties with good friends, and it's very hurtful to know that you can't just stay in touch with emails and things. They don't need to know how you feel, you'll be a long way away and you won't even be hurting them if you're not talking to them about the problems you have with The Truth.

I hope it's okay with your kids, and that you can show them a life and community love outside of the congregation. I've found that JW's are the worst example of Christian love; that you only get any when you're doing everything right. Don't put yourself in a situation where people will shun you just because they're afraid of the influence you will have on them. You can live your own life without affecting theirs.

Anyway... just to let you know, I think you're so brave and I'm so glad that you've been able to be more true to yourself.

ithinkisee

Just reading this for the first time ... I have been out of town.

I love you!

BTTT ...

-ithinkisee

ithinkisee

I guess his "planting seeds" pissed me off because in my gut I knew the issue was big and I felt like he was just tip-toeing around it for so long by his "seed planting".

For the record ... I think I told all you jokers on this list that she wouldn't go for that crap ....

Like here:

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/94888/1.ashx
I have thought about the subtle approach that many on this site favor, but my wife will feel manipulated if I talk to her in that way.

I told you she was way too smart for that.

-ithinkisee

Mrs. ITIS/FreedomLover - How I "saw the light!" ha ha ha

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