Hi,
I received this PM from a lurker who has never posted. Instead of responding directly, I suggested that I post the PM and get more support, to which she agreed. Please read, and comment if you have suggestions or support. I'll PM her and let her know of the thread, perhaps she will jump in!
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Hi there,
You don't know me obviously, but I was raised a JW and I've been out for approx 5 years now. I married young as all good JW's do...and divorced shortly after...as most JW's do! I knew the only way to get a 'scriptural' divorce was to sleep with someone so I did that otherwise the elders would have made me go back to him, and even when I DID sleep with someone, they gave me the option of not being DF'd if i went back....and would only be privately reproved...but I made them DF me cause I wasn't going to try in a pointless marriage....long story short, I spent nearly 2 years trying to be reinstated, and the reason it took so long was because i was such an example in the hall and my actions stumbled EVERYONE! So i had to prove that i was repentant. Needless to say when i was reinstated in 2002, I had no friends left in the congregation. They say you are supose to forgive but when you live in a materialistic congregation who juges you all the time, you have nothing left to come back to. I was miserable. Once a strong standing sister, parts in the meeting every week, aux pioneered all through high school ( I married at 18). I'm now 26 and lost beyond control. My mom is a regular pioneer and her new husband is one of the 'anointed'. They are 'spiritually strong' you could say and hound me to come back before the ark doors close. However, I just can't. I was taught NEVER to doubt the org or the 'faithful slave' but doubts always lurked in my mind growing up...the 'faithful slave', 1914, so many things always put doubts in my head but dismissed them by reading more magazines!!!
Well I left the org after about 3 months of being reinstated due to my incredible beef with my step dad...that is another story...I was 21 living back at home trying my hardest to gain respect and come back to the truth, but he still treated me like i was 12. One day at a meeting he said I couldnt sit beside a brother (who was my BEST FRIENDS boyfriend, and was like a brother to me) my friend wasnt at the meeting that day and due to the lack of 'brotherly love' in our hall he sat with me, cause the whole congregation was so jugmental and cold....anyways, my step father refused to sit down when the brother went to the platform, saying that if i sit beside Brendan, it will lead to immorality! I LOST IT! I was like are you on glue? I freaked out, walked out of the kingdom hall bawling my eyes out, walked home, packed my bags and left. (My mom since left that asshole). so since 2003 I haven't been a witness but it kills(ed) me every day. My mom calls me at work to read me the daily text and i always enjoyed it untill about 2 months ago when i thought, You know what, I'm going to be DF'd again anyways, (another story) so why not take this time to REALLY dig into the history and HOLY MOTHER CRAP! I'm terrified at what im reading and finding out, and also filled with doubt wondering if this is just the apostate shit i always was warned about....but it makes sence...i'm almost done Crisis of Conscience, and I'm discusted as to how things happen, when I always thought it was the brothers who prayed insesintly on matters before publishing them, and to find out that it's a 2/3 vote! to read that in Bulgaria they signed a waver so JW's will not have reprocussions if they have a blood transfusion....to read that voting in an election is NOW A CONSIENCE MATTER! to read that they were an NGO with the UN. I'm disturbed so much that i'm just so friggen lost. Even tho I've been away from the truth since 03', the truth hasn't left me...I was raised very strict and well in the truth by my mom(bless her heart) but i just dont know if i can beleive it anymore. I'm so confused, and I dont know where to turn. If this isnt the truth what the fxxx is there?
"Too Scared to post!".....I was raised in the JW`s.....You would be surprised at how much information is in the outside world about the "Watchtower Bible and Tract Society".......Let me give you just a Tid-bit................I own stock in the "Rand Cam Engine Corp"..500 shares to be exact..........Rand Cam builds engines for the Military....One of the engines they build,is for bombs..The engine in the bomb,delivers the bomb to it`s target.........So for me,War is Profitable........One of my fellow shareholders is,the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society..They own 50% of the Rand Cam Engine Corp.....Rand Cam is just one of the many stocks they receive profits from......They have a "Trust Fund" with stock in it....The Henreita M.Riely Trust Fund.....That trust has stock from Johnson&Johnson/Harley Davidson/Micro Soft/Tobacco Giant Phillip Morris,just to name a few.......Jehovah`s Witness`s are simply another business the Watchtower Bible and Tract society makes money from..The religion business......Hang out here and you will find out how a Multi-Billion dollar company(The Watchtower Bible and Tract Society) makes money from their Religion Business...And..Much,much more..................
...OUTLAW