Just finished my second study book

saywhat?

Hi everyone, I'm a newby here and really need thoughtful advice. I have been a student for three years, or so, and have just finished the Worship book with my teacher(?). I have three young children ages 6,9, and 10. It has been very difficult to get my children to adjust to the teachings. Especially about holidays and birthdays. My wife claims to support me and even believe the JW's and yet she attends no meetings and smokes, drinks, and gambles. Some support ! Anyway, I've also had problems adjusting and even miss being "in the world". I recently looked up the topic of "cross" on the internet and found out a lot more on other subjects I wish I hadn't seen. I've always had a problem with the torture stake teaching and, after having read about other things the JW's teach and how some scriptures were slanted to agree with their teachings... well, let's just say I have a severe knot in my stomach right now. I'd like to just get out of it, but I also don't want to confuse my children even more by all of a sudden saying that it's OK for us to do "worldly" things again. Please don't rake me over the coals. I would really like some advice as now my teacher would like to see me progress even quicker now. Thank you.

kls*

No one will rake you over the coals, most here are exjws and have been there, many are in and still trying to get out of the grips of the wt.

As all exjws will say" Yes get out of it , and as far as your children , have them join school activities such as forbidden sports , then slowy introduce them into the real world. It will work , i know cause thats what i did and never regreted it.

PS, Welcome to jwd

drew sagan

Well first of all, Welcome!

You have the right to choose what you want to do with your life. This is called freedom of choice.

With JWs though that freedom is not always welcome. I remember when I was studying with the JWs the pressure slowly increased as time went on. First it was a weekly study, then it was Sunday meeting attendance, then the book study. Next thing I knew I was being added to the theocratic school. After that came unbaptized publisher and soon after that was baptism.

But it didn't end there. Then came pressure to 'reach out' and pioneer (put in 70 hrs per month in the ministry) and since I'm a guy they wanted me to reach out for Ministerial servant. Lets not forget all that 'personal study' I was told to do, along with commenting at every meeting.

They sure had me busy!!!!

JWs are the type of religion that will never take no for an answer. They will work on you continually if you let them until you finally submit to their opinions and ideas (like you did with the cross). If you don't feel right about something they will tell you 'it will come in time'.

That 'something' that doesn't feel right at the moment is the result of you giving up your own personal freedom. I know because i went through it myself. If you stay here long enough and do real research you'll find out that the JWs arn't everything they are cracked up to be.

I wish you the best.

-Drew

White Dove

Your children will breath a sigh of relief when you no longer condemn what was once ok and fun and being viewed as freaks in school. Yes, the JW beliefs are overly constricting even for adults and are not Bible sanctioned. The society wants control over people. That is why they take away normal life and the ability to think for one's self from their followers. I was born into it (37 years) and regreted all of those wasted years.

Welcome here!

unique1

WELCOME TO THE BOARD!! GLAD YOU STOPPED IN!!

First off, you have to do what is best for you and your family. Second while I understand you not wanting to confuse your children I think everyone should make an informed decision and I think they should teach their children to do so and that making a mistake is human.

That said. I hope you really investigate the Witnesses background. You probably know once you are baptized you can be disfellowshipped for going against what the Watchtower Society says. I was born into it in 1977 and I had no idea about this:

http://www.watchtowerinformationservice.org/index.php/watchtower_quotes/medical-science/vaccination/

They banned vaccinations and put them on the same level as blood transfusions. Think of all the witnesses that were disfellowshipped for getting their children vaccinated. Do you think the elders called them back up 15 years later and said, oh my bad come on back. I can assure you they did not. What of all the children that suffered from small pox, polio and other diseases because they followed what the Watchtower Society said?

JWs also considered organ transplants canibalism until about 25 years ago when it became a conscience decision. Think of all the people that died denying themselves a transplant being faithful to the Watchtower Society only for their surviving relatives to find out the WT Society would change their minds down the road.

With that in mind, think of how you would react if it had been your child or wife? What would happen to your family if you were difellowshipped? How would they handle that?

With all of that researched, and of course all the other information you will get. Make a list, pros and cons and see which outweighs the other. If you decide against the witness route, then let your children know you made a mistake and that you are better informed now and you hope that they will research everything when they are older before making a decision so they can make good ones.

If you decide for the witnesses, you will have a list of reasons that you did to share with your family.

BEST WISHES TO YOU AND YOURS!!!

White Dove

Please look up high control religions and cults and mind manipulation, then compare that info with what you observe at the meetings. Scary stuff. Also, compare sales pitches on TV with the parts on the programs/meetings about placing magazines. The similarities are startling!

Been there, done that, grateful for escaping it!

Open mind

RUN, FORREST!!! RUN!!

Sorry, couldn't help myself.

Think about this. Suppose you buy the JW admission price to Paradise (baptism followed by a life of busywork) and then later decide that there's even ONE teaching or man-made rule that you just don't agree with. If you can't keep your mouth shut about it, you will be disfellowshipped and lose your "friends" and extended family. Just because you disagree with ONE teaching. This is why some folks nicely refer to the JWs as a "High Control" group and others, not so nicely, call them a "Cult". Don't get hung up on the labels. Do you really want to give a religion this much authority over you? Once you're baptized there is no honorable way out.

Open Mind

(3rd generation JW, former pioneer, currently serving elder but trying to "step aside" soon)

White Dove

Good one, Open Mind. No questions or show of doubts are allowed and will show weakness. You will be corrected and be brought into their way of thinking and to a proper frame of mind and heart. Disagreement is not tollerated. Just try it and find out.

thepackage

Don't give into the pressure. Better that you stop now than five or ten years down the line when your children have grown up and missed out on so much. The fact that you are doing research on your own is GREAT. Keep doing it. Remenber, if you mention to your teacher that you are on the internet finding out information they will give you a hard time about it. Any religion that uses "fear" on their membership is a CULT. You are being taught that "wordly people and things" are wrong. That is not true.

ex-nj-jw

Welcome to JWD!

As OpenMind said - RUN FORREST RUN!!!

I was born and raised JW until age 18 when I left and never went back! - Your children will appreciate you not getting them involved in the organization, as for being a part of the "world", You live in the world, but you don't have to be a part of the JW religion to be happy, healthy, have good morals and be a kind and decent person, parent, husband!

Get away from them before it's too late!

nj

Just finished my second study book

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