My friend Marion, who has been trying to fade, decided on a change of tactics, and sent the following letter to the elders last weekend:
Body of Elders
Xxxxxxx Congregation of Jehovahs Witnesses
Dear Brothers
As you know, I have not been attending meetings during the last few months, a matter over which you have all expressed some concern.
I thankyou all for the attention you have paid me during this time, and express my apologies for my seeming lack of appreciation for your efforts. Be assured, brothers, your efforts have not gone unappreciated, I have simply not felt like talking about the things that have been troubling me during these last few months.
I would like to say at this point that my problems do not stem from anything that you yourselves have done individually, they are from within. After being associated with Jehovahs Witnesses for my entire life, I find myself beginning to doubt some of the teachings I have held to for so long. The Bible tells us to “ make sure of all things.. ” (Thess ), and of late I have been trying to do that, by means of deep personal Bible study and prayer. Again, we are admonished to “ keep on testing that we are in the faith.. ” (2Cor 13:5), and, whilst a few years ago I was absolutely certain that I was, now I am no longer sure.
I know that everyone goes through periods of doubt like the one I am experiencing now, and you will advise me that the meetings are the best place to resolve things, but I feel I need time to myself at this point, and would hope that you will respect my wishes, at least in the immediate future. I do not wish at present to discuss the thoughts that I have been having, so whilst I again emphasise how much I appreciate your concern at my absence, please respect my desire for privacy . When I am ready, I promise you that I will be in touch. Until then, whilst I will of course welcome anyone who calls on me in friendship, as I always have, I would prefer to be left alone.
Your Sister
When she sent this letter, which Trev and I both knew about (he typed it), we all felt that there would be one of two possible outcomes - they would respect her wish to be left alone, thus buying herself some time so to speak, or they would contact her immediately after the elders meeting, which was last night. Well, it seems they took the 2nd option, as she had a message on her answering machine this morning from the po thanking her for her letter, and telling her that the elders would like to speak to her to address the nature of the doubts she mentioned in her letter.
She hasn't contacted him yet, and we have advised her not to, but I think they will now redouble their efforts to see her, and when they do they are going to ask some awkward questions. Trev told her as he was typing it that this letter could well lead to a jc eventually, but she thinks that may have been on the cards anyway, as her jw son visited her last week and spotted the copy of Crisis of Conscience I lent her. She admitted to having read it, and he probably put 2 & 2 together, with her missing all the meetings lately. He didn't say he would report it, but he wants to be an ms so it's likely he will mention it to the elders.
She will be visiting us later, so I will be able to update everyone if there have been any further developements, but it is book study night, so maybe she won't be bothered again today. She knows there will be some pretty leading questions if the elders do corner her, and she has decided to answer them honestly rather than try to be evasive. She would still kind of prefer to fade, but doesn't think the elders will allow it, hence the letter. Her attitude is that she doesn't really want to be df'd, but if it happens, then so be it. Whatever comes of all this, she isn't going back to the meetings.
Please keep her in your thoughts, and I will keep you updated as and when there are any developements.
Linda