Is it Possible to Love More than One Person?

by Robdar 64 Replies latest social relationships

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  Robdar

  I believe that it is. I think that love takes on many facets. I think that admiration is one of these facets. Sexual desire is another. Friendship is also a basis for love. Mental stimulation comes to mind. And last, but not least, spiritual love. There are others too.

  So, since all these are different facets of love and not always easily found in one person, is it possible to love not just one person but many? And let's throw intercourse in there too. Is it unusual to love all these people and also desire them sexually?

  Edited to add the questions from below: Would you, if possible, have sexual intercourse as an expression of your loving feelings with any other than the "one" you are "in love" with? Can it be done without becoming confused, emotionally? Should it be socially required that we choose only one? Or is it time for a love revolution?

  Any thoughts and comments are appreciated.

  Love,

  Robyn

  Edited by - robdar on 13 February 2003 17:59:41

  Edited by - robdar on 13 February 2003 18:32:39
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  Vivamus

  Robyn

  I love many people, but I'm only in love with one. And he's not the only one I desire sexually.

  My friends I love, some I also have the sexual vibe with. Some are good talking friends, others I can laugh with till tears stream from my eyes. The one I'm in love with, that is a bond on all levels.
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  Robdar

  Viv,

  I totally see your point. Perhaps you would rather not answer this but here goes: Would you, if possible, have sexual intercourse as an expression of your loving feelings with any other than the "one" you are "in love" with? Can it be done without becoming confused, emotionally? Should it be socially required that we choose only one? Or is it time for a love revolution?

  Love ya,

  Robyn

  Edited by - robdar on 13 February 2003 17:58:55
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  Farkel

  Robyn,

  : Is it Possible to Love More than One Person?

  Of course it is! Too many people think love is something in short supply that one has to be careful with, so as to not run out of it. There is as much (or as little) love as one wishes to embrace in one's life.

  Farkel

  Edited by - Farkel on 13 February 2003 18:22:1
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  Robdar

  Farkel,

  Thanks for responding. I was hoping that I would get some responses from the male members of the forum. I wasn't expecting any though because too often men get in trouble for talking openly about these matters.

  I appreciate your input.

  Love ya,

  Robyn
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  Scully

  I think so.

  We are attracted to people - as friends (platonic and otherwise) and lovers and partners and mates - for many different reasons. A lot depends on who we are and where we are developmentally. Different people have the capacity to touch us on so many different levels, and who can predict what factors are going to spark some chemistry between me and someone else? Whether we decide to act on that chemistry is also a variable of who we are and where we are developmentally, as well as the same factors from the other individual.

  Whomever is involved in the scenario you're describing..... each person has to be very self aware and understanding of the others involved. It's hard enough with just a couple...... I can't imagine it getting easier when you're adding another heart, mind and soul into the equation.

  Love, Scully
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  Brummie

  Would you, if possible, have sexual intercourse as an expression of your loving feelings with any other than the "one" you are "in love" with?

  I personally couldnt cheat on my wife and ever look at her again without feeling tremendous guilt. Also I would find it hard to express "loving feelings" towards anyone but my wife. Now "lust feelings" is a different matter, if I am honest I have had these thoughts before but they are very controlled and I wouldnt put myself in a situation that I know would get out of hand. My wife is my life and no one could ever replace or share that closeness, I wouldnt want to destroy that for anything or anyone. In saying that I happen to be the type of person that cares for people easily, to the point of loving them but not sexually or with an agenda.

  Can it be done without becoming confused, emotionally?

  I think this would confuse the wife/husband emotionally, so again I wouldnt want to put that on her. Too much love for her. Hurting her would make me unhappy emotionally.

  Should it be socially required that we choose only one? Or is it time for a love revolution?

  I personally feel it is not socially required that people choose only one, it may have been back in the day but not now, many have open relationships and this is acceptable. If both parties want an open relationship then it has nothing to do with society. Tis their own business.

  My 1p worth

  I like your posts Robdar, there's a lot of depth to them.

  Brummie
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  animal

  Define love.

  Animal
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  Robdar

  Scully

  Yes things can get complicated. Where does one draw the line between loving a person and not wanting to hurt them and yet still desire other partners.

  Thank you for posting.

  Brummie

  You obviously are very devoted to your wife and family. Another reason why I think you are wonderful.

  I personally feel it is not socially required that people choose only one, it may have been back in the day but not now, many have open relationships and this is acceptable. If both parties want an open relationship then it has nothing to do with society

  Perhaps in Europe. And I do see that trend coming around in the USA. But still, old ideas die hard and people are judgmental. Women who want other love partners are considered sluts and the men who do are judged equally harsh. Although they are not usually called sluts to their faces.

  Thanks for your comments.

  Love,

  Robyn
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  happyout

  It is definitely possible, and I would think almost probable. If you have meaningful relationships with those of the opposite sex, and you find them at all physically attractive, it's difficult not to fall in love.

  The problems come into play when one person "in love" wants something different than the person they are "in love" with. I personally would not be able to sustain a close relationship with someone who shared physical intimacy with someone other than me. However, there are lots of people who are fine with "open marriages" and that's ok too. The key is to be with someone who thinks along the same lines as you, and thereby avoid unintentional emotional harm.