Just feeling people out here - I wondered if enough people would be interested in reading a response from the WTS to a letter that I wrote to them about the info that appeared in the 1983 WA on "Honor Godly Marriage" when I was a relative newlywed? It is 5 pages long and I will have to have my husband get it on here if it's not too hard.
...WARNING: EXPLICIT MATERIAL
..OK - the wait is over - we now got it on - didn't share it (this letter) with hubby until recently, more than 20 years later.............
WATCHTOWER BIBLE AND TRACT SOCIETY OF NEW YORK, INC. WRITING DEPARTMENT PHONE (212) 625-3600 25 COIUMBIA HEIGHTS, BROOKLYN, NEW YORK 11201, U.S.A. EX October 3, 1983 |
CABLE WATCHTOWER |
Dear Sister : .Your letter of September 1-5, 1983 has been received and we note your comments and questions on the article entitled "Honor Godly Marriage" in the March 15, 1983, issue of The Watchtower. We trust the following observations will be helpful to you in further reasoning on the counsel given in this article based on God's Word. The Society feels keenly the responsibility to provide Scriptural counsel to the brothers and sisters, to help them whe- re problems are developing. What the Bible savs about the world becoming very corrupt morally and otherwise in the "last days" is very much a reality, now that we are deep into the time of the end. Extreme care needs to be exercised by Jehovah*s people that they do not allow the attitudes and practices of this world to influence them adversely. These bad influences are all around us and unless we work diligently to keep our standards high and in harmony with God's Word, Christian conduct can be easily eroded by the thinking of this world. In recent years sound counsel has been given in the publica- tions and on assembly programs dealing with specific aspects of Christian conduct. For example, the need to be very selective in choosing entertainment, to keep free from immoral movies and por- nographic material, has been given attention. This has been a safeguard for God's people everywhere. It was with this same concern for the spiritual needs of our brothers and sisters that the Society published the article "Honor Godly Marriage" in the above-mentioned issue of The Watchtower. This was done after the matter of what was needed was given much careful and prayerful consideration, including what had already been published on this subject. It was not the desire of the Society to enter the bed- room and attempt to police the intimate affairs of Christian mar- ried couples. However, it is evident that primary objectives of the Devil, in sivly building and cultivating the "spirit of the world," has been not only to lure people into an unrighteous way of life but to bring reproach upon Jehovah the author of marriage and the one who made sex a part of the marriage arrangement. Worldly practices and attitudes pose a definite threat to Godly marriage, and these must be recognized realistically and dealt with in order that 'marriage may be honorable' and 'the marriage |
Mrs. September 30, 1983 Page II bed be without defilement' in every way. (Hebrews 13:4) Those seeking to have a clear conscience are responsive to the indi- cations of God's Word and the counsel of His organization. When a man and woman enter marriage and start a family unit, with the possibility of having children, it is entirely proper for them to enjoy together what is natural in a sexual way, ac- cording to the way God has made them. The Creator did not see the need to give a lot of regulations as to how married couples should conduct themselves. But this is true also regarding other aspects of Christian conduct. Specific direction on every situ- ation that may come up in life is not given in the Bible. Jeho- vah has given us principles by which we can weigh matters and reach a proper decision. For example, anal copulation in mar- riage is not specifically prohibited in the Bible, but, in addi- tion to having in mind the principles in God's Word, nature itself should teach married couples that this practice is per- verted and unclean. We can learn many things from "nature;" that is, by consid- ering how the Creator made living things to move and exist. Paul said that people of the nations, before learning of Jehovah and his righteous requirements, did "by nature the things of the [Mo- saic] Law." (Romans 2:14) The God-given faculty of conscience often dictated what was clean, honorable and loving. And as to the natural differences in grooming we look for in men and women, he said: "Does not nature itself teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a dishonor to him; and if a woman has long hair, it is a glory to her?" (1 Corinthians 2:14, 15) In specifically condemning bestality and a man cohabiting with his daughter-in-law, Jehovah added that these things are "a violation of what is natural."--Leviticus 18:23; 20:12. We do by nature some things with certain parts of the body and naturally refrain from doing so with other parts of the body, perhaps having a revulsion against doing so. We may use the hands, for example, in touching or removing something unclean, but we would be naturally repulsed at using the mouth for doing so. In the sexual relationship between man and wife, the sexual organs are naturally designed to complement one another and the joining of these is how Jehovah naturally intended for married couples to render each other the sexual "due." (1 Corinthians 7:3) Only in this way can procreation take place. Obviously ho- mosexuals must carry on their sexual behavior in a different or unnatural way. |
Mrs. September 30, 1983 Page III While it is recognized that the apostle Paul's counsel at Romans chapter 1 pertains to homosexual practices, his counsel is also significant as to what is natural and unnatural in regard to sexual relations. There he says "females changed the natural use of themselves into one contrary to nature; and likewise even the males left the natural use of the female and became violently in- flamed in their lust toward one another, males with males, work- ing what is obscene and receiving in themselves the full recompense, which was due for their error." Twice he speaks of the 'natural use of the female,' showing that there is a "natural use" of the sexual parts and clearly implying that there is an 'unnatural* use of them. The practicer of homosexual acts not only has improper sexual desire for one of the same sex but also carries on these acts in a way that is contrary to the natural use of the sexual parts. Paul said that these homosexuals were doing "things not fitting," that God "gave them up to unclean- ness," to things that 'dishonored their bodies,' that were "disg- raceful" and "obscene." Instead of sex being noble and honorable, it became an expression of "lust" and "disgraceful sexual appetites." Certainly Paul did not have in mind that the "authority" each mate has over the other's body included the right to demand participation in any perverted or obscene act that might be thought up. (1 Corinthians 7:3-5) What was written at Colossians 3:5, 6 and 1 Thessalonians 4:3-7 was addressed to married Chris- tians as well as single ones. Paul counsels: "Deaden, therefore, your body members that are upon the earth as respects fornica- tion, uncleanness, sexual appetite, hurtful desire, and covetous- ness, which is idolatry." "Each one of you should know how to get possession of his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in covetous sexual appetite such as also those nations have which do not know God . . . For God called us, not with allowance for uncleanness, but in connection with sanctification." In the light of such counsel, it should be evident that Jehovah did not intend that 'anything goes' in the marital arrangement. Instead of being satisfied with natural sexual relations within marriage and seeking to keep normal sexual desires within bounds, people of the world search for increasingly more perverted ways to sat- isfy their sexual appetites that are allowed to run wild. While they claim that happiness in marriage depends on practicing these things without restraint, the bad fruitage of widespread frus- tration, bitterness and violence in marriage and the high divorce rate prove such claims to be without a real basis. |
| Mrs. September 30, 1983 Page IV On the other hand, when there is real love, consideration and understanding in the marriage, a Christian couple should nev- er have to feel the need to resort to such extreme practices as oral sex in order to satisfy proper sexual needs and desires. Instead of seeking just one's own pleasure, there is a desire to exercise patience and understanding, a genuine giving, a desire to please one's mate. The Bible says that "husbands ought to be loving their wives as their own bodies." It tells us "love ... does not behave indecently, does not look for its own interests." (Ephesians 5:28; 1 Corinthians 13:5) When love has its full ex- pression in a marriage, neither the man nor his wife need feel inhibited or deprived of sexual satisfaction. Such an attitude in the marriage arrangement, along with a clear conscience, often contributes to both husband and wife being more relaxed. As a consequence, they find increasing delight and pleasure in render- ing the marital "due." While modern sex manuals imply that the wife must have a sexual climax every time the couple have sexual relations, this is certainly an extreme view. Often it is the tenderness, patience and genuine love reflected by the husband while sharing the marriage bed that is appreciated more by the wife than trying to stimulate new heights in sexual gratifica- tion, especially if some highly questionable and conscience-dis- turbing means is used to accomplish this. We recognize that often caresses and expressions of af- fection between a husband and wife come before normal sexual re- lations and are, in actuality, a means of preparing for natural sexual intercourse. The Bible does not provide specific rules about the kinds and limits of 'love play' that might be associ- ated with natural intercourse between husband and wife but here, too, what is reasonable and natural should serve to instruct on proper guidelines. The Bible mentions displays of affection such as kissing with the kisses of the mouth, embracing and finding delight in the breasts of one's wife. (Proverbs 5:18, 19; 24:26; Song of Solomon 1:2, 13; 2:6) Sexual relations ought to be viewed by husbands and wives as opportunities to express warm and tender affection for one another, while they have due respect for one another's feelings and desire to please God. They ought to be conducting these intimate matters in such a way as to have a clear conscience before Jehovah. (1 Timothy 1:5, 19) Neither mate should do anything that would cause the other to be trou- bled. Where some problem develops in reaching an understanding on rendering the 'marital due,' the couple may find it helpful to carefully review counsel in the Society's publications, such as the articles on pages 5-12 of the April 22, 1974, issue of Awake! |
| Mrs. September 30, 1983 Page V You mention that your mate is not a fellow believer, but we sincerely hope that he will respect your desire to hold to Bible principles in your intimate marital affairs. This would be in line with the counsel offered on page 31, paragraph 1, of the March 1, 1983, issue of The Watchtower. If your husband should insist on practices such as oral copulation, despite your at- tempts to reason with him and your appeals to respect your con- science, we would be unable to advise you specifically as to how you should cope with this development in your marriage. We do not feel that we can accept the responsibility for telling you that you should just submit to his demands, but if you felt that you had no alternative but to submit, letting him take the re- sponsibility as your head for his conduct, then that would be a decision for you to make and one for which you would bear respon- sibility before Jehovah. The congregation elders would not feel a need to discuss the matter with you, unless you began to dis- cuss with others in the congregation what you had decided to do and this became an issue. On page 31 of this issue of The Watchtower it is stated that the practice and advocacy of perverted sex relations within the marriage bond could even lead to expulsion from the congregation. In discussing the reasons why this conclusion is reached, the point is made that the Bible lists many vices which could lead to one's being disqualified from God's Kingdom, even though they are not classed as porneia. Among them are "uncleanness" and "loose conduct." Thus, The Watchtower does not say that every married couple that has practiced oral sex should be summoned before a committee and be charged with a disfellowshipping offense. It is the practice and advocacy that could lead to expulsion, especial- ly where such advocacy is shocking and divisive so as to be "loose conduct." Nevertheless, The Watchtower appeals to the reasoning and consciences of married couples who might be in- clined to accept these practices into their marriage, trusting that they will see the importance of being guided by the counsel given in carrying on the intimate affairs of their marriage. May Jehovah grant you and your marriage mate spiritual in- sight and discernment in reasoning on the Scriptural principles involved in this delicate matter, that you might not only have a clear conscience before him but also have his rich favor and blessing in working to have a good measure of success and happi- ness in your marriage. Your brothers in Jehovah's service, |