Hi all
This post is again about the subject of a non-JW dating a JW. However, I would first like to say that I am new to this forum and have really appreciated all the comments that have helped me better understand the problems with this kind of relationship. So thank you everyone. This is again very similar to the post by Llama (see: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/20/63407/1.ashx). Apologies to those who are getting fed up with this topic, but I would love to hear your opinions more personally.
A few months ago I met a gorgeous JW girl. We really hit it off, in fact, i dont think i've ever got on with someone so well. I knew she was a JW pretty much immediately as her sister worked at the same place as me. However it wasnt until a couple of weeks ago that I found out she fancied me. I felt the same way. I thought great, we can go out, have some fun and see what happens. I didnt see her for about a week as I was away on holiday so wasnt able to talk to her about things, during which I thought about her non-stop. A few days after coming back we eventually have the "talk" face-to-face. She told me not only that she really liked me & that she thought we could really get serious, but also that I was the 1st non-JW that she had liked this way! I felt exactly the same. All good so far. Until she told me about her relationship history. She had never gone out with a non-JW before, and told me that she had decided long before she had met me that she would never do. I was, as you can expect, gutted.
I dont really have any strong religious views. At the time I knew very little about what JWs believe. I couldnt see a problem with us going out, we hadnt ever spoken about religion before, why would it matter now? For the last couple of weeks I have been really down, I always see things in black & white.. if 2 people like each other, why cant they go out? I tried to understand her reason that she wanted to be with someone that she could share her religious beliefs with (ie. her whole life). I still couldnt see the problem.... until now.
I have spoken to a couple of friends about the situation & they have helped me broaden my very lacklustre knowledge of the difference between Christianity and the JW organisation. They have been great. They have said if you really like her, which I do, then stay with it, maybe she will change her mind. She attends 3 meeting a week. There are signs that she might be confused. I mean shes only 20 for a start. Her mum only became a JW when her mum re-married when she was about 8, so i presume she has been with them since around then. I am not sure if she is baptised yet or not. About 10 months ago her sister was a fully committed JW. She met a guy and a few months ago she stopped going to meetings, moved out of home & is getting married next year. However she and her sister still get on with each other really well, but according to the JW way, should she not "shun" her as she has left the organisation? I think she is scared of what happened to her sister, and is worried that the same thing could happen to her, meaning giving up her life as she knows it and starting a new life. She says most of the people she knows our JWs so this would be very difficult for her.
Its really hard to just leave this as it is, even though I know I should, but I'm only 21 and have never liked someone like this before. When she told me that we couldnt go out, I was gutted but not angry. We ended up talking & cuddling each other for 5 hrs. It just felt right. I'm just really confused now. I'm tryin to stay as close 2 her as poss, and maybe I can make her see sense, but how? I hope you know what I mean, and I know most of you will say dont bother etc but there must be a way?! I'm rambling now... I cant believe I've written so much... sorry.
Anyway I would like to again say thanks to people on this forum, it is helped me to understand a lot about JWs. I feel especially for Dayshdees (from article: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/20/64965/1.ashx), with all that he has been through & wish him luck for the future.
If you got down to here.... you deserve a medal! Thanks for reading it.
