to all parents..please please answer... (page 5)

czarofmischief

One of my better friends in the whole life, the one who knew me as a dub and supported me the whole time: she picked ME to come out to.

That's right, the redneck W-loving chainsmoking beer drinking yokel who would have a pickup and a Confederate flag if he could afford it... she picked me to go first.

And that's when I had my own little crisis of conscience. My reasoning went like this.

1. Nobody's perfect - when I figured out that she was serious.

2. Sins of the flesh are at the bottom end of God's list of priorities.

3. This is my friend, who has stood by me loyally for the past five years and will still be there for the next thousand if I needed her.

4. My friend is hurting and needs me to help her and just be there for her.

So, I gave her a big hug and told her that whatever would make her happy, as long as she was smart and safe about it, would make me happy. Privately, I don't think this choice will make her happy, mostly because she tends to throw her heart around like it doesn't matter, but if it does, great! I've been wrong before. If it doesn't, well, I've done stupider things in the name of love.

So, whatever happens, at least I learned to be a better person. I didn't "pass by on the other side" like the Levite or the priest.

And I did and do worry about the suicide thing. It is very much a concern for me. I do not want to be found wanting as a friend, just because of somebody's sexual choices.

CZAR

Edited to add: Not a parent quite yet, just expecting in a few months.

m0nk3y

2. if girl, she loves the girl but it is just wrong (condemned in the bible), and u think your child is not gay just influenced by this other person..would u try to straighten her out? like if you feel that your child is being friends with someone who is really really bad like drug pusher/pimp wouldnt u do anything within your power to control? for example..when u before believed in jws u made your children go to the kh and stuff meaning you love them so you'd want them to survive armageddon ..so wouldnt u do same thing if u knew that something is really really wrong(you will try to control)??

Being in a gay relationship can not be compared to these things. Parents are not given the blessing of children to live their lives for them, we all need to lead our own life. Just make sure that you let your daughter know that you support her in her quest for happiness

Joyzabel

only way to prove that my life is mine is i have the power to take it.

this really scares me. Gotcha, please come back and talk some more. It sounds like you are really hurting.

Instead of asking the parents how they feel about their kids, if they were gay, you need to ask those here who are gay how they handled coming to terms with their own life. How they learned to own their own life and not be suicidal. I'm sure these are feeling many have experienced when they realize they may hurt those whom have raised them. But you need to learn the difference between being loved and being under control.

You're parents have no right to control who you are. And unfortunately if they are making you feel bad about yourself, then distance yourself from them. Repsect that they are your parents but don't let them control you. Life is precious and worth living. Don't throw it away to show yourself or others what "power" you have.

Please let us hear from you.

Hugs,

Joy

moonwillow

she should do what makes her happy not me!

it's her life not mine!

she lives it not me

acsot

I don't know your history at all, I think this is the first post of yours that I've read. Do you still actually believe the Bible is the infallible word of god? Maybe when you realize that the Bible is as flawed as any other book out there, you won't feel so bad about your choices in life. Your feelings, be they straight, gay or bi, are not wrong.

Have you visited www.gayxjw.org ? There are many others with feelings like yours, please share yours with people who can understand you.

Please don't do anything to harm yourself; you deserve to be happy, with whomever you want as long as that person treats you with love and compassion. Being alone ain't that bad either, just depends on what works for you.

Please take care of yourself.

gotcha

thank you very much for your concern and support..i really appreciate it...it's really hard when grew up always feeling guilty about the littlest things you did that were against the jw laws ..then now it's like breaking one of the 'major laws/bible laws' if i choose that path...cant blame em coz they just want what's best for me but not necessarily what i want for myself...on the other hand..it's like my happiness depends on my fam's happiness too..that i cant really stand if they are so disappointed....

littletoe -- it's really been a long time...i hope everything's fine with you...never thought in those past years that ive chatted with you that i'll be here asking this kind of question....no inclinations whatsoever before!! i think im crazy..

joy -- i'm alright dont worry about me..

thanks again to all..

hugzzz

kitties_and_horses_oh_my!

Dear gotcha,

We're worried, there's no way we're not going to be. Suicide is a big issue with a lot of us here for similar reasons to what you're going through - maybe not that particular issue, but the guilt of doing what we feel is unforgivable. On my worst days, I just try so hard to remember that the next day could be better. That five years down the road this issue will be sorted out, at least much more so than it is now. I know these might sound like trite answers, or rather cliche, but I've been hospitalized 2x for suicide attempts - one was major, I almost died - so I have been there, I really do understand to some extent.

Hugs, Kitties

WildHorses

even if u were sure she was just destroying herself....would u still want her to live and continue making a mess out of her life?

I do not equate being gay as destroying their life or making a mess out of it. I'd think that trying to live a life just to please a parent or other family member would be what destroyed that person, rather than living a life that they felt happy with. Be honest with yourself. It isn't her destrying her life that is really bothering you is it? It's that fact that you do not feel comfortable with her choice. Am I correct?

WildHorses

Sorry, Gotcha, I just now after reading more replies, realised that you were speaking about yourself.

I say, live your life for YOU. If you live it only to please your parents, you will be miserable. Life is short enough as it is. Don't waste it, grab what ever happiness you can, while you can. Just my 2.

LittleToe

Gotcha:

i think im crazy..

No, you're just human
We're in your corner, and luvs ya!!!
(((hugs)))

to all parents..please please answer...

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