What Is The Most Ridiculous Thing You Have Heard From A Witness?

by minimus 133 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Pete Zahut

  I remember back around 1974 when everyone was expecting Armageddon to arrive at any minute, the 40 something father of my friend Eddy, raised his hand during the Watchtower study and said:

  " I read an article the other day that said scientists are noticing lately there's been an unexplainable increase in the populations among birds of prey this past year. We know that this is happening because after Armageddon they will be needed to help clean up the bodies of all those who have been destroyed".

  The Watchtower Study Conductor paused for a long time, sighed and then said reluctantly:
  " Well that's just not true, so lets remember keep our comments based strictly on the material in the paragraph".

  The Kingdom Hall seemed to go silent, you could have heard a pin drop. Up to that point, I had never heard anyone's answer being corrected. I stole a glance over to where he was sitting and his face was flushed and frozen and he was staring intently into his raised Watchtower to avoid looking at anyone. My friend Eddy and his brother were doing their best to stifle their laughter.
  
• 

  new boy

  "The blood in any person is in reality the person himself... poisons due to personal living, eating and drinking habits ... The poisons that produce the impulse to commit suicide, murder, or steal are in the blood. Moral insanity, sexual perversions, repression, inferiority complexes, petty crimes - these often follow in the wake of blood transfusion." - Watchtower, September 1, 1961 p.564

  The society did mention that a blood transfusions could cause “sexual perversions.”
  

  Of course a person must now wonder if Leo Greenlees, the pervert and governing body member ever had a blood transfusions?
• 

  pale.emperor

  One I distinctly recall is my mother telling me how another couple at the hall had some items in their attic that had gotten demon possessed. So they took the aforementioned items outside to burn them, but the demons were preventing the items from burning (items made from wood, cardboard, paper, clothing, etc). They even doused all the items with gasoline and yet the demons prevented them all from ever catching flame. Eventually they hauled the items away to a dump since they were permanently demonically inflammable.

  I swear i was told this exact same story by my sister when i was a kid.

  Incidentally, i burn a lot of waste wood and paper-crap in my backyard and it's not always easy to get books to burn. It takes a few goes, there a knack to it.
  
• 

  minimus

  This thread is a keeper!
• 

  minimus

  I like it when Jehovah’s Witnesses say Jehovah always protects his people and miraculously he made sure not one JW died in an earthquake! BUT if Witnesses did die during a catastrophe, it’s time and unforeseen circumstances.

  They can never lose. Lol
• 

  jp1692

  Minimus: They can never lose.

  It's a rigged game.

  If anything good happens, that was Jehovah. If anything bad happens, that was either Satan or "time and unforeseen circumstance."

  So earlier the Dow was rising and Trump followers all said it was because of him. (Hint: it wasn't.) Now it's falling. Will they blame him? Of course not.

  They're all in a cult just like JWs.
• 

  minimus

  The witnesses are blinded by the light
• 

  Diogenesister

  A relative, when driving past Stone Henge said 'well that will be knocked over next year' (referring to Armageddon)....that was over 30 years ago!

  I expect those Islamist Isis fundamentalists would have said the same things when they blew up those beautiful 7,000 year old giant carved Buddahs.And when they trashed the priceless relics in that Iraqi museum, they also killed the museum's devoted curator whom they thought apostate.

  They are savages of the first order and they don't know it. No wonder the Russians think them extremist.
  
  
• 

  joey jojo

  A ministerial servant giving his first talk told us from the platform that children need to be supervised at all times.

  He then went on to tell us a story he had heard about a couple of 2 yr olds that were left in a car, had sexual intercourse with each other while the adults went into a store.
• 

  smiddy3

  This statement from an Elder .I kid you not .:

  About a TV show in Australia. "Skippy The Bush Kangaroo"

  "That kangaroo has to be Demonized to do all that things he does."