by donkey 54 Replies latest jw friends
Sns,
I have watched this behavior for some time and watch certain behaviors escalate into what it is now. It is unacceptable that is what it is. If you cannot be civil to someone then you need to back off. Bullying someone into submission isn't what healing should be. That is all I am going to say.
X.
To clarify, I was not saying that SP had used me as a punching bag - I was simply responding to the previous post, not referring to SP specifically. Sorry for being vague.
I am only asking these questions to see if the moderators realize what "we" feel, think and experience as recipients of the actions they take.
I realize. I'm used to being the little guy sitting in the corner that no one notices. In a lot of ways I still am.
I hope SP is well
I'm used to being the little guy sitting in the corner that no one notices.
Big Tex - to the contrary - I think everyone not only notices you, but looks to you as comfort, safe haven and a non-judgemental kind ear.
A lot of people have spent a great deal of time and effort communicating (or trying to) with SP. All seems to have been pointless and a lot of the time the friendship has been thrown back in people's faces.
She made a public request to be deleted and also sent PMs to numerous moderators asking to be deleted so it isn't really a surprise that someone acted on it. Personally, I wasn't going to but I guess someone else did. No problem. It's not really the end of the world or a big issue is it? It's up to her. Whether she posts or not is entirely her decision ... she has *not* been kicked off the site as the topic implies.
Of course we then get the usual people with the usual 'complaints' ... this time that we have deleted SP and we shouldn't have. Really Donkey, if you have a problem about it, go talk to her - it has nothing to do with us.
BTW: This 'battle cry of the suppressed' ... "I'll probably be deleted for saying this" is really getting old and stale now. You know what you post and the reasons for it is often very obvious, eg... "why has [insert name of trouble maker here] been deleted?"
I do think that the people SP has chosen to associate with online will not do her any good whatsoever as they will use her for ther own ends as they have so many others.
It was a big deal to her.
It would seem that stinky tried very hard to get deleted, and when people that knew her and cared for her showed restraint, she self fullfilled her own prophecy. 
I think Stinky just needs a rest. She is a prolific and well loved poster, and a good rest would do her good. Also, as Simon has stated, she is possibly being taken advantage of.
This board (to me) is not about who is the most popular, or the most liked. It is a shared and mutual experience of respect. That includes all of us.
Please dont take my words wrong, because I adore stinky, and she knows it. We have talked in chat LOTS. Stinky knows she is wanted here, she is just going through some tough times. I remember when I was her age, and I made alot of mistakes. I did alot of stupid stuff, as I had to test and retest to make sure I wouldnt get hurt by people. With maturity comes the realization that there are more healthy ways to relate to people. Sometimes we may find ourselves so overly guarded that we become aggressive. If it werent for people that I respect saying to me "I dont have to put up with your abuse" I would have never learned this most valuable and common lesson.
Unfortunatly, the control of dubism makes us all learn the hard way. The school of hard knocks. Most of us here have in some way had to learn by this method. It is not the end of the world. Stinky will return a better person, though she may have to learn the hard way.
I am not judging her. I have been a student of this school my damn self.....I will be the first to admit that aggression is a defence mechanism for me in relation to other peeps.
StinkyPantz, if you are reading this, please know that you are cared for here.
I am teeing off the Board for a while to attend to work matters but I felt that I needed to say this before I leave.
SP is a sweet and kind young women who presently has serious emotional and health issues. Any of us who have spoken with this young lady know that she is going through an horrendous time at the moment and needs much comfort.
IMHO many subscribers to these discussion boards have helped to drive her to the edge by encouraging her, for their own reasons, to enter areas of behavior on this Board in recent days that have added to her turmoil, and she has not been alone as having been used as a pawn in the settling of ancient agendas. I know that she would argue with me about this, but to anyone who has seen the history of many of the personalities that have recently caused so much on-line friction around here, it is quite obvious what has happened.
Now, of course these same few people rally around her offering advice and an arm of support. Shame on them, I hope that they are satisfied now. I may be a ?self-righteous? and ?condescending? , but I certainly know the smell of hypocrisy when it comes my way.
To any suffering depression and struggling with deep emotional issues, please learn that these Boards are not here as a substitute for needed help and therapy. As a matter of fact they could seriously add to your problems.
Good luck Bridget and I will speak with you all again in a few weeks - HS
For the record, since y'all seem to need someone to blame for Bridget's being deleted, I was the one who honoured her request.
For what it's worth, she and I spent a long time messaging each other before I agreed to go ahead with acting on her request. I wanted to make sure that she was certain that this was what she wanted and that she felt it would help her. I was also concerned that people would not be able to get in touch with her once she no longer had access to the PM feature here. She assured me that everyone has her contact information. She also knows that all she has to do is ask me when she is ready to resume posting, and I will reactivate her account.
As far as I'm concerned, this is a temporary situation while she does what she needs to do to feel better.
Love, Scully
