by starfish422 50 Replies latest jw experiences
After thinking about this long and hard for the last couple of years, I decided I would go for a private visitation at the funeral home, but not to the service. I would also take a friend with me to fend off any JWs that try to speak to me (besides my surviving parent).
{{{mega}}}
I'm so sorry to hear yr story, a boy I grew up with is in the same position. Although I have not seen him for many years, I know he has been shunned by his 'anointed' mom for many years. My sympathies, dude.
tal
No question about it. I would go. But if any of those f*$kers tried witnessing to me.....
OMG yes I'd go! I don't care where the service was held. They haven't totally shunned me and I couldn't imagine not being there. I'd be devastated of the loss no matter what.
I don't even want to think of that happening.
When my father died, I was phoned and told about the service and that I could come "if you really want to." I took that as an un-invitation. And he was NOT a witness and wouldn't have wanted a witness funeral. Against her biggest request, my family had a witness funeral for my grandmother who was an old lefty and athiest. I think her biggest sorrow in life was that both of her children became jw's (though one later left the borg) and that all her grandchildren grew up witnesses, shunned college and a life she saw as good. I couldn't believe that when she died the family had a witness funeral. How absolutely disrespectful to her; I was so angry I cried! As for my mom, I don't know if I could go into a kh again, even for her. I think I'd arrange my own "celebration of life" to honor her life.
Emma
I would go but I don't know what I'd do if I started getting the plastic smiles and phony sincerity.
Starfish...
Hmmm?.. I've been thinking about this issue over the past couple months as my elderly mother was hospitalized just a while ago. ( I did call the desk at the hospital and ask about her and left a message that she could call me at anytime if she wished).. I got no call.
I AGREE, WITH ... MEGADUDE.
"I can't see the point in attending what is basically just another J.W. Meeting"
My mother and I have not had ANY relationship in the past 10 years since I was disfellowshipped.
She has had no interaction with my kids.. and has only ever met my youngest (8 yrs old) in a grocery store.
Why would I drag he grandchildren who she doesn't know.. and who at present.. do not know her..to her funeral.
HOWEVER,..
As with TALESIN.. I would go to a family visitation at the funeral home but I would not in any way force my children or husband to attend.
AND... NO.. I don't believe my mother is a horrible grandmother.. she is just the product of a cult that has cloaked her eyes..sad.. but there are losses for those of us who choose not to continue to support a cult..and for many of us. LOSS of family members (who we love) is one of them.
sincerely
and it still hurts. I still feel she loves me.. (but will probably never be able to show it)
special k
If one or both of my parents died, I might not even find out!! They live 1,500 miles away, and are even further away emotionally.
If I said I were NOT inclined to go to their memorial service, it might sound bitter. But my question is...what is it about the memorial service that legitimizes anything, or is helpful to anyone but the JW's involved? I can be here at home and remember my parents, at least the way they were when I was growing up and we actually had a relationship.
But if the surviving parent really seemed to want me there, I would seriously consider it.
As you can see, I haven't made up my mind yet.
(((((((((((special k))))))))))))
bebu
I can't see any point in attending what is basically just another JW meeting. Also, my JW mother has terminated our relationship because she is *ahem* of the elite annointed and I am of the ex-JW tribe. If I never saw her again in my life, it would be no problem for me anymore. I don't need to attend a funeral just to get a glimpse of the corpse of a religious fanatic who long ago ceased being my mother.
Sums up how I feel about the man that got my mother pregnant. My mother has been dead for years-non-jw.
When I tried to kill myself 8 years ago after being df'd and going through hell- he didn't even call.
All I got was a call from my brother saying "we can't help you unless you come back to the meetings".
TO HELL WITH ALL OF THEM
Yes there is still alot of anger there- but it's been channeled into making a life for myself and a good one at that.
I have pretty much the same feelings about it as you, Gopher. Although I know my dad would never admit to wanting me there if something happened to my mum. Basically, I don't know my parents any more; they might as well be people I went to school with and haven't seen since then. We no longer have anything in common aside from bloodlines; why would I go to a memorial svc for someone I don't know, unless it was to support somenoe else who was there?
SIGH. It's a tough one.
