If your still-JW parent died... (page 2)

mustang

One of my parents has died, and I went to that KH funeral. It got a lot of the effects mentioned here: discussion of JW's views of religion, hope, paradise and so forth. It was a "tele-commercial" to a certain extent. But it was not as bad as it could have been. It was moderate and tasteful.

One of my "pagan" cousins sat on the mourners row with me. Several of the other "pagan" cousins were really supportive and didn't spare the emotions. I believe that these people were more sincere than the JW's. My brother commented that our "pagan" relatives showed more love than those in "the Truth"(tm). To me, this justifies the addition of the (tm) designator.

But, here it comes: at least three eLDERS took the opportunity to offer me "advice". Of course, that advice was "get back to the Borg". I kept my cool, but silently went into the "stew mode". Not "blowing off steam" in the presence of the "powers that be" was the secret of my rather compromised but successful fade.

So, I resolved TO NEVER ATTEND A JW FUNERAL AGAIN.

The other parent will one day be planted. But, the relative I am my closest to already knows that I "will experience unavoidable delays" or will be "out of the country" at that time.

Likely, I will arrive a day after the Funeral is over. I will have made arrangements for the Funeral Home to keep their effects in place. A friend, a few relatives and I will then have a minor memorial service and I will pay my respects without the influence of the vultures.

Mustang

primitivegenius

i definately would go and id show my respects............ and let them see how happy i am to be outside the borg......... and if the services got long winded and oh praise jah and the all holy wtbts......... protector of child molesters and money whore............ id take out a flask of good single malt and pass it down any body wanna drink

animal

Nope, no way.

Animal

Stacy Smith

Wow megadude, you've been really hurt.

Well my parents have been great. They aren't dubs any longer but for me it's a no brainer. Of course I'd go. We all go to the KH whenever an old friend dies anyway. We're shunned but we go just to support people who used to be our friends.

My parents continue to forgive those that try to hurt them. They are decent people and I hope I can follow their example.

Sam Beli

Yes, absolutely. Though I detest the religion, I have already attended a JW funeral of one of my parents. It was there wish to have a JW funeral because they had been near life-long JWs.

Out of respect for their wishes I would even arrange a JW funeral for them, just as I would expect to have a non JW funeral arranged for me.

The last JW funeral that I did attend was a dreadful affair; the PO gave the sermon and took every opportunity to use the name "Jehovah." I think that every third word out of his mouth was "Jehovah." It was embarrassing. Several of my "worldly" friends came out of respect for me and I hated that they had to hear what dreadful stuff that my parents believed.

To not have gone would have made my friends wonder what kind of monster I was. They had no idea of the "history" connecting the JW religion, my parents and me.

gypsywildone

I'd have to side with megadude on this one. My mom is an inactive, alcoholic jw still very head tripped by them, & I moved across the country to get away from her spiel. She put everyone through alot & just wouldn't quit. So I shun her, I don't need the dysfunction in my family's life. Now, over here is an old jw lady that I've known a long time, & she doesn't shun me & I've never told her how I feel. she is an old lady, what good would it do??? When she dies, I will go, & this time I will not keep my mouth shut, nor will I just spout off. It is because I love her that I don't picket the damn kingdom hall & put Silentlambs bumper stickers on all their cars :) But to HER funeral I will go. I can't see any point in attending what is basically just another JW meeting. Also, my JW mother has terminated our relationship because she is *ahem* of the elite annointed and I am of the ex-JW tribe. If I never saw her again in my life, it would be no problem for me anymore. I don't need to attend a funeral just to get a glimpse of the corpse of a religious fanatic who long ago ceased being my mother.

myself

From personal experience: My mother was a JW, very dedicated to it, blindly as cults do that to you. She too was healthy (all her life) Her mother was also healty (died at 81 of complications of a rare blood disease) A year ago , I would have thought that we still had some years left for mom. Last fall/winter she was diagnosed with pacreatic cancer. She lived less then a month )just short of her 67th birthday).

I had enough respect for her to attend her memorial service at a KFH ( you can guess what the F stands for I will make the moderators job easy tonight). It was what she wanted, and that is ok. I guess your decision in each case is personal, each of us has to decide individually what is best. I couldn't live with the regrets later down the road of missing her funeral service, you can't go back and change that later. I have no regrets of going, only a few were disrespectful with the you gotta come back or you will never see your mom again speech, I had the option of turning my back and walking away from them.

I miss her.

drwtsn32

Of course... I would attend the memorial no question.

Xena

My parents are both dead so that isn't an issue....but I would attend my sisters funerals or even my ex in-laws....just as a way to finally say goodbye to the people from my memories

arancia

When my mother died,I choose not to walk into the catholic church,that means I only was present at the burial place.She was a sick woman for ten long years,confined in a nursing home,she end-up been a vegetable,she needed 24 hours a day care.I was there during all those years,and I was suffering with the pain that only love for your mother can give. Impotent in alleviate her the conditions she was in.Many times she smiled at me that ment she knew I was there.The night ,before she got into coma, I ask her to giveme a sign that she knew I was there and she did she blink her right eye,and after that she deterioreted and died at about ten am. My sisters were there,they were in church as well ,but not there they were when my mother most needed them.I did not even share a word with them,It simply made me sick to see how far hipocresy can go.If one day,mine children decided to not be at mine funeral,it could be one of those day similar to many others.

If your still-JW parent died...

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